Should I marry a JW ?

by curiousabouthim 52 Replies latest social relationships

  • curiousabouthim
    curiousabouthim

    I am new to the JW world, not one, but do love one. Met a man who down to the tee is amazing. He is a great man, the only thing i am not so sure about is his "religious" beliefs. He loves me unconditionally and we are great together, he does not expect me to become one, just asked if i would ever read with him, i love the Bible, so I am fine with *reading* with him. Nothing else expected. Because i have no idea really, what are your opinions on marrying a JW? What does it mean that the elders would control our marriage bed?

    Thank you in advance for your replies. I need the help.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Yes, marry him.

    Some people can only learn through personal experience.

  • thecarpenter
    thecarpenter

    "Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty." Which one are you?

  • Arthur
    Arthur

    Tough question. There are many variables which you did not address. You better consider all possible angles, and their long-term implications:

    Does he want to reach out for MS or Elder? And if so, are you okay with these duties taking time away from you?

    How does he feel about you celebrating Christmas? Is he willing to allow you to have Christmas items in the house? What about you celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving with your family? Will he allow it?

    Is his family in the org? If so, how will they view you?

    Are you prepared to let him die if he needs a blood transfusion?

    Do you fully realize that according to JW theology; he may very well be granted survival into the paradise earth while you (a non-JW) will be executed? How does that sit with you?

    Do you and him want kids? If so, will you allow them to be indoctrinated in the religion? How will you feel about them not being able to accept Christmas presents from their grandparents?

    If you and him were to have children, would you be willing to let them die if they needed a blood transfusion?

    There are many more questions that need to be seriously considered. I have no idea how you feel about all of these things, so there's no way that I could tell you yes or no. But, I hope you are prepared for just the minimal amount of friction that will be created by you not being in "The Truth". Because, even the minimal amount is too much to bear for some people.

  • Moomin
    Moomin

    Hi Curiousabouthim, welcome to the board.

    I wasn't a witness for very long and my husband wasn't at all. We hadn't been married long before I started going to the meetings. The strain on our marriage became evident very quickly. The amount of time we spent apart was a real problem (5 meetings a week, bible studies and field service, also district assemblies and curcuit assemblies.).

    Christmas, birthdays, easter etc. was a problem. As was wondering what way our children will be brought up. The pressure from the other witnesses to get my husband interested was a real strain and I knew they would be the same when I had children.

    The witnesses would poke their noses into our private life and expect to be given all the information they asked for.

    Moomin

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    You wrote: Should I marry a JW ? No! My wife married one and she told me she got screwed.

    Marrying a Jehovah's Witness would be a wonderful way to do everything possible to get a marriage started with a lot wrong.


  • curiousabouthim
    curiousabouthim

    Thankyou all for your replys

    Yes, we talked about children, we both want children. As far as Christmas goes, I asked if our kids could spend time with Grandma and Grandpa at that time of year and he said yes. although he does want to teach them his beliefs., including his beliefs about Christmas.

    Not sure if he plans on being an elder in his group, but i know he goes to 3 of those meetings a week, independently, and without me.

    Apparently, he is the only JW in his family.

    The blood transfusion thing, he already said that on his medical, I would be have to deny him getting a blood transfusion, whatever, personal reasons, don't understand why, but you can bet i would not let my kids die if I could prevent it, so no, to answer that question, I would not be ok with my children not being allowed medical attention in that matter.

    He seems more understanding than most I have met, and seems not to expect me to ever become one.

    I don't understand all the possible conflicts of interest we could encounter as a JW and non JW couple. Other than devoting a whole lot of time to understanding their beliefs, is their an easier way to find this info out?

    Thank you again, before I get to far into this, I want to know what I am in.

  • vitty
    vitty

    If you click onto the best of catagory, then click page two. There you will find experiences and advice from other people who are in your situation.............I hope you find it helpful.

    If hes an active JW...............you really, really , need to know what you are up against .

    Goodluck youll need it.

  • fokyc
    fokyc

    NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO -NO - NO - NO and another NO

    Unless you are totally crazy!!!!

  • Moomin
    Moomin

    I'd definately go with fokyc's advice :)

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