becoming a jehovah's witness

by pcecilia 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  pcecilia

  thank you, little drummer boy
  if i may pry further... do you truly consider those years completely wasted?

  as a result of your struggle with faith and with the witness organization, didn't you learn an immense amount about yourself? granted, much of it may have been through repression and the subsequent nightmare of detaching yourself and rebuilding your lifestyle... but wasn't that struggle one of deep self-revelation?

  i've seen many people go through life, never believing in anything strongly, and therefore never being shaken out of that belief by a revelation... some of those people never begin the path of self-discovery throughout their entire lives, because they never have any kind of trauma to instigate questioning or investigation...

  if nothing else, i would imagine, after so many years of denying yourself urges based on belief, that finally satiating those urges would be much, much sweeter than the common experience ever could be to someone who didn't go through the same struggle...

  i guess, i'm just hoping that you (and the others on this board) don't feel regretful about the long periods of time you spent with the witnesses... it seems that you were all able to go through a complete rebirth after leaving the religion, and rebirth is a pretty valuable thing a lot of people do not ever achieve...

  please, refute me if you consider me wrong...

  warlock,
  ultimately, i will certainly speak to a few practicing jehovah's witnesses... hearing the perspective of one who is still passionately in the belief system will be just as beneficial as hearing your retrospective stories...

  but, out of respect to those who do follow the belief system, i would not allow myself to become inducted into the religion... because my intentions would be out of the desire to examine and gain knowledge, not out of faith... and that is unjust, and quite frankly an insult, to anyone who is in the organization because of faith...

  so i will make most accurate representation possible based on accounts... writing has to be vicarious sometimes...

  i thank you for the suggestion, it was something i honestly had not thought of before...
• 

  jwfacts

  as a result of your struggle with faith and with the witness organization, didn't you learn an immense amount about yourself? granted, much of it may have been through repression and the subsequent nightmare of detaching yourself and rebuilding your lifestyle... but wasn't that struggle one of deep self-revelation?

  pcecilia, that is a great point. Our lives make us what we are, and most people suffer hardship, those that learn from it are better people for it.

  Though my life could have been easier if I had not been a JW, and I resent many things that I missed out on, I still have had a blessed life. Upon leaving, the JW experience teaches a person a lot about being less judgemental of others, and how to evaluate information.

  There is a huge affect on ones life on leaving, particularly for those raised as JWs, one that I do not think can ever totally be repaired. If you spend 30 years building a social network entirely of JWs (as you are forced to), and all your family are JWs, leaving is devastating. It can lead to massive insecurities and depression, and incredible heartache to know the rest of your family are living their lives without you. One of my friends left at 20 and said for the first 2 years she felt like the walking dead. However, life moves on and I now have a new network. One way I was able to fast track the process was to get in touch with some of my close friends that were disfellowshipped in years gone by and reinvigorate the relationships.
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  Carmel

  Kent, I was born into the "religion" so it was not an "attraction" that had me being a witness. I can speculate, however, as to how many adults have become one by the "story line" that is practiced and dealt to the unsuspecting and gullible. The witnesses are really good at pointing out all the shortcomings of both religions and govenments. In doing this, they set the listener up for them being so insightful and spot on with their analysis. If one is the least bit discouraged about all the bad news in the world, they will welcome a perspecitve that confirms their dissattisfaction, then promises a more attractive option. They then claim to have "thee true" understanding of the bible, showing how humanity will go down in flames unless it adheres to the JW line. Those doing so will inherit eternal biological life! What a hook! Most people are not up to seriously studiing the bible from different perspectives, so they fall into the trap of literalism that the JWs weave and find themselves conjuring up visions of a perfect world as defined by JW jingoism. Satisfies the emotional elements of the mind, but only if the rational, logical side is lulled to sleep. I've seen very intelligent people in the JWs, but they have cultivated a cognitive dissonance that is so blinding that it is impossible for them to logically work their way out. So hypnotized by the "prize" and scared to re-examine what they have bought into, they will not allow their egos to be threatened by the thought that they have been bamboozled.

  Just my 2 cents.

  carmel
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  bubble

  Hi Kent, I was born into the religion and just got railroaded into baptism and marriage to another jw member. I would never have given the jw's the time of day if they'd come knocking at my door, so it was only by misfortune that I ended up in the religion (i.e. because my parents had converted).
  
  I wanted to get out of the cult for as long as I can remember but it's so hard to leave, in spite of what the jws tell you (they say members are free to leave at any time).
  
  I finally got out at the age of 35, so I to feel I had a lot of wasted years. I was disfellowshipped because I left my jw husband for another man, so I lost the relationships I had with my family members and I am completely shunned by all my former friends. That's Christian behaviour isn't it?
  
  I do feel a little bitter for all those wasted years but it doesn't consume me. I am very happy now and pleased that my children have not gone down the jw route.
  
  Love Marie. XXX
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  Effervescent

  it seems that you were all able to go through a complete rebirth after leaving the religion, and rebirth is a pretty valuable thing a lot of people do not ever achieve

  Respectfully-

  Personally speaking, the moment or process of clarity has been less a brilliant shining moment in my life, and more an emotionally crippling one. Many of us have experienced severe mental and emotional trauma by the hands of the only ones we were allowed to trust. The effects of this don't go away in a moment of rebirth. I continue to struggle with issues of self-worth, isolation and extreme sadness. Most of my family has deemed me unsuitable for even casual acquaintance based on my rejection of their faith. My children will never know their grandparents (who are alive and healthy) and are thought of as "as good as dead".

  I would give up a whole lifetime of introspection and self-discovery for a childhood filled with love and security instead of manipulation, fear, brainwashing, insecurity, hate and lies.

  As Warlock suggests, it's impossible to know the heart of the matter unless you've walked a mile in an X-JW's shoes....

  I do see your point though. If there is anything my struggle has made me passionate about, it is that my children will never doubt my love for them, and will always be encouraged to be the brilliant individuals they are. I believe their journeys of self-discovery will be just as sweet because of their security in this knowledge.
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  SPAZnik

  what kind of story is it?
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  Black Sheep

  i guess, i'm just hoping that you (and the others on this board) don't feel regretful about the long periods of time you spent with the witnesses... it seems that you were all able to go through a complete rebirth after leaving the religion, and rebirth is a pretty valuable thing a lot of people do not ever achieve...

  please, refute me if you consider me wrong...

  I was born into it and I deeply regret that.

  I didn't get baptised, drifted out of the Truth, and put up with the guilt and shite that goes along with that for most of my life.

  I have a physical defect that effects my looks and my self esteem that is a direct result of my, and my family's belief in the WT.

  I have ended up with a JW wife and JW children who are frightened to talk to me about their faith.

  My wife has become mentally unstable since I started studying the WT (which is what my family has always wanted) and found that the WT is not what it claims.

  She thinks I am being used by Satan to destroy her faith in Jehovah so that she will die at Armageddon, which is going to happen soon.

  I am fear for future of my grandchildren.

  It is very difficult to feel reborn when your entire family is still under control of the cult and consider you the Evil One.
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  AK - Jeff

  I have a question that perhaps you can answer in a later reply;

  Why do you wish a character in your book to be a Jehovah's Witness? It would seem far more intiguing, given the world at large, to have your unique character be a Muslim as example. Or, I do not jest either, a former Jw. Then you could pick and choose from all the colorful persons here to base your character upon, while giving the world an honest picture of the reality that results from having originally decided to become a Witness, then finding out the 'truth of the Truth'. Just a thought.

  Jeff
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  AK - Jeff

  I have a physical defect that effects my looks and my self esteem that is a direct result of my, and my family's belief in the WT.

  Without prying Black Sheep, do you mean that your physical defect is a result of your having been raised a Witness? Or do mean that having been a Witness intensified the whole self esteem issue already associated with the problem?

  Jeff
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  unique1

  I like most was born into it. You are led to believe that your true salvation lies within the bounds of their orgnization and that is what keeps most people in, that and fear of shunning. I liked the fact they taught good moral values. I also felt as if the preaching work was a good thing. Then I realized they would rather preach than really help the needy in other ways. Preaching is a good thing in it's own right, but there are other immediate needs of others that need to be met as well. Feeding the hungry or clothing the needy or building a shelter. Plus going from door to door is less effective than say TV. It took me a couple years to realize that.

  I also think you need to know alot of those who are attracted to the religion and not born in are usually (not saying all) either at a low point in their life when someone knocks on their door and offers them paradise, or they have some mental issues (JW's attract more than their share) or people who are not readily accepted in day to day life (outcasts).