Once upon a time there was a daddy who really, really liked alcohol. He drank too much all the time and smelled like wine, cheap wine from a box. He had four children, but he especially loved his two daughters, maybe a little bit too much. He would drink too much, and then touch them in places that were inappropriate. He did other things to them, too, things that I can't really repeat because they will make me want to dig up his dead, worthless carcass and poop on it. Also, I might get banned. The mommy of this family knew about the daddy's habits, but didn't do anything about it for reasons that are a mystery to everyone.
This daddy was shiftless and could not hold a job. He hated working for other people, so he bounced from position to position, from lousy job to lousy job, from failed business idea to failed business idea. Later this daddy and mommy's kids helped to support them. So did the taxpayers of the state they lived in.
Though this daddy was unimportant in real life, in his religion he was important. When they announced the "elder arrangement" and the position of Presiding Overseer, he was the first elder to step up to the plate, and then he held that position for years. Many years. Many, many years.
The daddy's girls grew up. Forever damaged, they made poor choices. One got married very early (at 16.) Another got married a bit later (at 20.) The daddy's boys also grew up. One boy decided he didn't believe in a religion where a daddy who did such terrible things to his precious girls was allowed to be in charge of a whole congregation, and where he was required to believe that the Holy Spirit approved of a daddy like that! This boy isn't spoken of. In fact for many years the other children's children didn't even know he existed. Another of the boys was cut from the same cloth as his father, at least in the "shiftless loser" department.
So, all of the daddy's kids had children, daughters and sons. Now the daddy was a grandpa! Everyone was very happy about this. But the grandpa's girls were confused and didn't know or understand what abuse really was, and they sent their daughters up to the grandpa's house. The grandpa drank a lot of alcohol, and he took his precious, five- and six- and seven-year-old granddaughters behind the woodshed, or into the bathroom, and he touched them where he shouldn't and did other things that make me wish that I believed in hell, in fact specifically in Dante's version of it. The grandpa was still a Presiding Overseer in his religion, and everyone (except the bad, bad, unspoken-of boy) was still required to believe that Jehovah's Holy Spirit had chosen him to lead his congregation.
Eventually this grandpa's grandkids also grew up and had kids. The grandpa was now a great grandpa. However, his grandchildren learned about abuse and didn't make the same mistake their mommies and daddies did.
I'm happy to report that the grandpa contracted aggressive prostate cancer that, before it killed him in writhing, blind, gibbering agony, necessitated the removal of the part of his anatomy that caused so many problems in the first place. The way that the grandpa died seemed very horrible to little under_believer at the time, but that was before little under_believer learned what a piece of fecal matter his grandpa was, and what his grandpa did to his dear precious sister and his loving mommy. Now under_believer wonders if the way his grandpa died is somehow proof of the existence of God, or at least of karmic justice.
The daddy's descendants are a sad lot. The two boys are now both ex-Witnesses. One can hold a job; the other is as much of a perennial welfare case as his daddy was. One of the girls is alcoholic, but still nominally a Witness. She is in a frigid, loveless marriage and wishes with all her heart that her husband was dead. Her daughters, also victims of their grandpa, are unable to care for their children as full time parents (though they try very hard) and their mommy does much of the day-to-day child care.
The daddy's other daughter, my mother, is utterly and completely devoted to Jehovah. She has no friends, even among Witnesses, though she has a caring nature and gives of herself for others to a fault. She will do anybody any favor they ask. As a result she is often taken advantage of in time and money, and also much loved (but not befriended.) She is married to a man (my father) who is emotionally distant and never tells her he loves her. Her husband spanked her children too hard. But she didn't stop him.
Now both of her children are leaving Jehovah and will be destroyed at Armageddon. This is the final tragedy in a loveless, sad, tragic life filled with pain and misery--her children will not be with her in paradise, and her God and Father is the one that will do the killing.
But that is a pattern she's familiar with, and maybe that offers some small comfort.
A story that is hard for me to tell
by under_believer 46 Replies latest jw friends
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under_believer
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crazyblondeb
but he especially loved his two daughters, maybe a little bit too much. He would drink too much, and then touch them in places that were inappropriate. He did other things to them, too, things that I can't really repeat because they will make me want to dig up his dead, worthless carcass and poop on it. Also, I might get banned. The mommy of this family knew about the daddy's habits, but didn't do anything about it for reasons that are a mystery to everyone.
That story makes me cry. I have been "one" of those daughters.
But, someone has begun to break the cycle, I think!!
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jaguarbass
Sad story. My condolences.
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My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW
Courageous story...thank you for sharing it.
There is a saying in a popular 12 step program which goes something like this....
What do you call a horse thief and a drunk that sobers up and quits drinking?
A horse thief.
A pedophile is a pedophile and there is no excuse that explains or excuses it. Just my two cents.
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Lady Lee
Sadly there are far too many stories like this. My heart goes out to all the victims in yours.
The more guilt she feels about not being able to protect her children the harder she will try to gain "Jehovah's" approval. That's exactly what my mother is doing. All 5 of her children left the JWs. She is the only one left and more stubbornly a JW than she ever was before
Too bad the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward doesn't fall into her hands one day
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Noble
When I read your story what came to my mind was the aftermath of a sinful act. The great grandpa's sin definitely would not go unnoticed by Jehovah. Moreso, that he has misled a lot. But let it be clear that the fact that he was the Presiding overseer of the congregation doesnt make him perfect or saint. The bible says that jehovah's judgment will begin from his house - congregation. This implies that there are bound to be a few bad eggs among us. I want you to see all that had happened as a testimony never to leave Jehovah inspite all odds.
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freetosee
Thank you for sharing.
That is the true life of jws, their spiritual paradise! They talk about being in the truth, but are living a lie. They talk about the love that identifies them and bitterly fight each other behind their fake smiles. They have sick perverts as their local leaders who cause more harm then good it is aggravating! There is too much pain, fear, abuse, oppression and confusion under the filthy carpet of the wt$.
fts
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damselfly
(((Underbeliever)))
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parakeet
Noble: ***The great grandpa's sin definitely would not go unnoticed by Jehovah.***
But what did Jehovah DO about it? Nothing! There was a poster here not long ago who called the police to warn them about a pedophile "sinning" with his children. Even an underage teen knew that simply to notice such a crime is not enough; you have to take immediate action to stop it. "Waiting on Jehovah" is a coward's justification for inaction.
Noble: ***I want you to see all that had happened as a testimony never to leave Jehovah inspite all odds.***
It's a testimony to how the WTS allows child molesters to flourish within its ranks. Not very noble at all.
UB, your story is hard to tell and hard to hear, but I admire your courage in telling it. Yet another warning to lurkers about the dangers that can lie in wait for those who choose "never to leave Jehovah inspite [sic] [of] all odds." -
Lady Liberty
Dear Under_Believer,
((((HUGS!!!))))
What a horrible, horrible thing your family has been through!! I am so very sorry!!! It must have been incrediably hard to say what you have. I hope you and your family find some sort of peace that you deserve! I am sure you will find much support and friends here. We are here for you!!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty