Sex before marriage = a miserable marriage according to WTBTS!

Gill

The anti sex beatings from the WTBTS go on and on!

November 1st 2006 'Awake'

This particular mag has an article on 'Does Romantic Love Justify Premrital Sex?'

I'm not going to go through the entire article asI'm sure most of us have read all this 'stuff' before BUT the point I want to make from this is that this is another guilt trip from the WTBTs with portents of doom for any couple who have sex before their marriage.

'Remember, too, that those who reject God's loving standards reap what they so. 'He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body,' say the Bible. True if a couple who engaged in premarital sex truly repent, work hard to restore their relationship with God, and strengthen their trust in eachother, negative feeling MAY eventually abate. (Caps mine) Still, their past conduct usually leaves a scar. One young couple, who are now married, bitterly regret having committed fornication. 'Are our marital disagreements somehow a result of this unclean foundation?' the husband sometimes asks himself.'

'Sexual intimacies between a husband and wife can strengthen their bond. In a happy marriage, partners also find sexual intimacy more pleasurable and meaningful - and without cheapening the union, troubleing the conscience, or disobeying the Creator.'

It seems that what this article is saying to young couples, probably in love, is that if they do have sex before marriage then the whole marriage will be miserable and doomed to arguments and unhappiness. Instead, it is the WTBTS total brow beating, and guilt imposing that causes the REAL unhappiness.

dedpoet

Perhaps Linda and me should cancel our wedding then! We don't want the years of misery that are sure to follow because we decided to live together before tying the knot.

Thankyou for drawing my attention to this Gill, you may have saved both of us from years of unhappiness!

Seriously, you are right, it's not the "sin" of having sex before marriage that causes the unhappiness, it's the way the wts continually tries to make couples feel guilty about it, especially if they haven't confessed their gross act(s) of immorality to the elders, that does the damage.

aniron

True if a couple who engaged in premarital sex truly repent, work hard to restore their relationship with God, and strengthen their trust in eachother,

I have trouble understanding this. A couple who were having premarital sex..have got to work on strengthing their trust in each other.

Surely they had that trust to begin with? Have does having premarital sex with the person you are going to marry mean that you don't have trust in them.

Are our marital disagreements somehow a result of this unclean foundation?' the husband sometimes asks himself.'

No they were the result of the WT making you feel guilty.

From what I learnt when a JW from Elders, and since leaving. Premarital sex is very common among JW couples.

dedpoet

They've been going on about this for years. Here's a bit of advice for the ladies, on how to avoid the unhappy start to married lifr the awake talks about.

When persons start in this dangerous and sinful course, they find it hard to overcome future temptations. When a young, unmarried girl falls to the temptation, the price she pays is terrible: shame, sorrow, a ruined reputation, endless troubles, with the danger of being disfellowshiped from a congregation if the girl is a dedicated member. It is high time for girls to understand the make-up of their bodies and its functions, especially with regard to sex. Then if a girl understandingly takes care of herself while the ovum is at large and is causing sex disturbance and cravings within her, she will be able to act like a true lady of irreproachable morals at all times. She will avoid the violating of her virginity and the shame and conscience-stricken state due to this; and wisely she will direct her young life so as to end up in the position of a clean, happy wife and mother of legitimate children, journeying to the new world of righteousness, where there will be no sex problems amid a sex-crazy population.

Actually, the complete article this "gem" is from is funny, in a pathetic sort of way.It advises humans to take a lesson from cows regarding sexual matters! It's on this link,if you want to read it, but have a bucket next to you if you do!

http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/women.html

jwfacts

JWs do go through the guilt trips BECAUSE the WTS demonises premarital sex. It is very sad, as I know numerous JW couples that had sex before marriage and live with the guilt. Many only do a bit of touching and still are riddled with guilt.

Compare that with my 'worldly friend's. They have sex, get married and feel no guilt as they have not been brainwashed to think it is wrong. It still surprises me how many 'worldly people' I know have been married for years and still deeply love each other, as a JW I really did not believe such marriages existed.

Gill

Sex is a beautiful thing in a relationship where two people love eachother.

The same cannot ALWAYS be said for a married couple.

Gill

Dedpoet - That's one BIG GUILT TRIP laid on young women by the WTBTS!

greendawn

Marriage is just a formality what really matters is commitment and feeling and indeed putting sex before feeling is not good. However a couple could be mature in its feeling dimension long before it is ready for marriage and it's not right to postpone sex until then. It's amazing how easy it is for the JWs like it was for the victorians to walk roughshod over such delicate personal issues.

Wolfgirl

If I had lived with my first husband before we got married, I never would have married him. You don't truly know a person until you live with them, IMO. I'm very glad my second husband and I lived together for a year before we got married. We have a strong and happy marriage, and no, I don't feel guilty for having sex before marriage. If I were still a JW, my "conscience" would have killed me. Now I know it was just brainwashing and browbeating, not MY conscience.

cyberdyne systems 101

Thx for posting this one! Its so true its the WTS labelling of it and the guilt they constantly heap on young couples that causes many problems. As one who had premarital sex as a JW, I know it helped influence me to 1) marry the person - to make it right (flawed yes, but I was young) and 2) it caused my wife to feel bad about sex for the rest of our married life (sex = being bad)

I'm not saying if you want to live as the Bible says you dont have to abstain, the problem comes from the constant minute analysing of it and making such a big song and a dance about it. Who are the congregation (FDS) to keep passing judgement on a couple? Its up to the couple to make things right between them and God, not an organisation to keep up a constant stressful guilt trip.

CS 101

Sex before marriage = a miserable marriage according to WTBTS!

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