Well I thought we were all gonna get given bulldozers - we can go down to Asda to fill up on fuel. Someone can work out how to make the pumps work even tho all the electronic data behind debit / credit cards has been destroyed. Maybe we wil get a kind of company credit card off Jehovah that still works. So the fuel pumps will work.
So we will bulldoze everything. Thats gonna take a week or so. We can live off the food in the supermarkets that week. Then we can start growing our own. We might have to use John Innes No 3 fertilizer to make it grow a bit quicker, cos really, were gonna need fresh food after week 2, although we can still eat the tinned spam. God will see to it that it doesnt turn us queer.
Week 1 we can look round for a real nice house to live in. I guess we wont bulldoze everything, just the council estates and blocks of flats. Will the stuff still be left in peoples wardrobes and drawers? I hope so cos I really love snooping round and looking at other peoples stuff. Plus I might find a really nice pair of earrings l like.
Then week 3ish after the food starts growing all our loved ones will start popping up. They can come and live with us in the mansion we bagged. Plenty of room for a couple of generations. We can put the great great greats in the shed - they wont mind cos they probably lived in a shack when they were alive.
We wont notice but our clothes will start melting away and all the stuff in the wardrobes of the houses that we didnt bulldoze will just disappear. The weather will get warmer so we dont spend all day shivering and wondering why. We will unnacountably lose our desire for a bacon sandwich, and instead we will crave a carrot salad, and we will get real friendly with the pigs. The pig will lie down with the lamb. We wont want shepherds pie anymore either. We might have to ration the carrots tho cos we will be in competition with the lions for them.
Its all gonna work out, guys, I dont know what you are stressing about.