If Someone Hurts You Or Pisses You Off, How Do You Usually Deal With It?

Amazing

Hey Minimus,

You have had over 18,000 curious question over the last few years ... more than anyone I know.

I rarely get pissed off or hurt ... but, I have been surprised and taken back by the reactions of some who I thought were friends, especially when they turned on me with a vicious vengence. That has only happened a few times on the several discussion boards where I have participated. I learned long ago not to take things personally, and to realize that the written word can be, and often is, far different from the spoken word. It took a while to separate my own emotions from overlaying on the words someone else writes. Once I was able to do that with conscious effort, then I was able to react more objectively, and fairly. If the person really intended to piss me off, I just stop interacting with them and move on to another post. 99% of the time, the same person will warm back up and be friendly on another topic. So, I gather from that, that most people are upset at certain issues rather than me.

Jim Whitney

greendawn

If they intend to do it repeatedly then I will tell them I don't like what they are doing three or four times, and if they carry on regardless I will get much tougher and ruder with them as that will be the only language they understand.

I recall a couple who lived in the flat above me and the woman used to wear shoes with wooden undersides that made a terrible noise when she walked (they had no carpets on the floor) and she often did it very late in the night. They ignored my warnings so after that whenever they disturbed me even at 4 AM I would put the hi fi on at full volume and they soon got the message.

Finally-Free

If Someone Hurts You Or Pisses You Off, How Do You Usually Deal With It?

First I take the matter to Jehovah in prayer. I ask him to give me a tactful and humble spirit. Then I calmly approach the person who offended me and, from the scriptures, show him the error of his ways and explain how his actions hurt me. Shedding a tear or two may sometimes be appropriate. If I fail to "gain my brother" I go to my room and sulk for the remainder of the evening.

Oh, shit! That's what I do when Rocco bites me. Forget that!

Nothing beats a good ad hominem attack!

W

OUTLAW

I will tell them what is bothering me and shake it off..If they continue,they are warned..If they persist Acid ...OUTLAW

daystar

I am not very quick to anger at all.

It depends largely upon the intention with me. I consider who the person is and if what they did or said match what I know of them. It could very well be due to a misunderstanding or miscommunication.

If it appears that they did or said what they did with malicious intent, I might be more ready with a very sharp tongue at least. But then again, I'll also give some room for stupidity.

If something occurs over and over again, I will lay down the law... once. If it happens again, they deal with the consequences.

And this is all regarding interactions with adults.

minimus

Amazing Jim, your answer seemed to concentrate on the boards. I'm not asking about that. Boardlife isn't reality, really.

brutusmaximus

I don't get pissed off all that easily but if I do then I just hit em fair and square

Only kiddin, I send the wife out to deal with them!!

BM

lovelylil

I am usually very slow to get mad but if I feel someone keeps offending me in some way I will bring it to their attention.

I have one friend for instance that used to constantly correct my kids in front of me. If they did or said something wrong she didn't wait a second for me to say anything to them but would jump in as if she is the mother and give them correction. My kids were getting totally ticked at her and my son actually told her one day to mind her own business. Anyway, I figured she meant well so I let it go. But then the more she did it the more it bothered me. So I finally brought it up and she was shocked that I was so upset by it. It was not her intention to upset me - she was just trying to help me.

I think it is always good to bring it to someone's attention because many times they really are not aware that we are upset with them. And if we don't say anything it will just fester and get worse. Also, I try to approach people in a way that I am not acusing them but rather giving them the benefit of the doubt that they don't realize they are upsetting me vice thinking they are doing it on purpose. This helps me to stay calm.

Hope this helps, Lilly

serendipity

Turn the other cheek and forgive up to 77 times. Ok, usually. Well... sometimes.

I analyze my reaction. Annoyance or anger is a secondary emotion, usually fear is the underlying emotion. Once I figure out what's going on emotionally, I question my assumptions and generally try to use reason and logic to get an explanation and decide if I should pursue or let it drop.

I will also try to figure out motive or look at it from the other person's perspective- walk a mile in their shoes. If the relationship and or issue is important enough to me, I may discuss with the person.

If Someone Hurts You Or Pisses You Off, How Do You Usually Deal With It?

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