Should I DA myself or not? (page 2)

drew sagan

I say it's allways better to do a fade, allways seeming to be the spiritualy weak one when family is involved.

You are more than likely in the best position. Just don't let non family JWs into your life and you will be ok.

OnTheWayOut

Read Little Toe's advice again, print it if necessary. Find Peace in your own victory over JW's.

You've succeeded in leaving, and still retained your family insofar as you want to involve them in your life. I, for one, covet your good fortune. You hold all the cards.
If you DA the chances are there will be an incredibly short announcement and most of the congregation will say "who?". Your family will then likely disown you, for no other reason than an announcement was made. A terrible anti-climax to eight years of effort.
You've already won! Try to find your closure some other place, and really live your life

greendawn

Like most people said there is no reason for you to go out with a bang and burn all bridges with your relatives that are in, if you are already inactive you are not really contributing anything to the dubs anyway and that's the most important issue.

fullofdoubtnow

Hi Mrs Smith, and welcome to the forum.

I go with the majority of other posters. You have made a successful fade, you are still on good terms with your jw relatives, your kids aren't being influenced by wts teachings, so you have more to lose than to gain by da'ing. Stay as you are.

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Welcome Mrs. Smith!

I agree with what others have said about just letting it be. It may feel like writing a DA letter would be making it very clear where you stand on matters, but you could also view writing a letter to them as playing their game. And since you have decided they don't hold any authority over you, it may be best for you to just continue as things are... you are a successful fader!! CONGRATULATIONS. That's HUGE.

If you don't mind my asking, did you go through hard times with your JW family in the past and they have eventually come around? Has your mom always been cool about your lifestyle or did she shun you for a while? I'm asking because I'm hoping my mom will eventually come around... I'm pretty freshly fading...

Good Girl or Bad Girl

Nowman

Good Girl/Bad Girl,

I would like to respond to your post . My mom and dad shunned me from 92-2000, when my mom finally came to her senses and left the cult. I still have not seen my dad since 92, its been 14 years! I guess I feel there is some hope for others now because my mom was a die hard JW, an elders wife, a regular pioneer...etc. She did it. But, for 8 years, I missed her dearly despite my anger I felt towards her. When I was little, it was just me and her, she had been divorced, so she was a single mom, we were really poor, we strugled, but we were close. Then she married my step father, and right about 1983, our lives were consumed with JWism. So, when I left, I could not believe even my own mother would disown me! I was her only child! Then she and I reunited in 2000, it was not so easy at first, we barely knew each other anymore, but she came around, and thats why I feel hope for you, I never thought it would happen. Hopefully, in time, and things don't happen the way the JWs say its going to, maybe she will open her eyes. I just want you to know, that I understand completely, thats all.

Nikki

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Good Girl/Bad Girl,
I would like to respond to your post . My mom and dad shunned me from 92-2000, when my mom finally came to her senses and left the cult. I still have not seen my dad since 92, its been 14 years! I guess I feel there is some hope for others now because my mom was a die hard JW, an elders wife, a regular pioneer...etc. She did it. But, for 8 years, I missed her dearly despite my anger I felt towards her. When I was little, it was just me and her, she had been divorced, so she was a single mom, we were really poor, we strugled, but we were close. Then she married my step father, and right about 1983, our lives were consumed with JWism. So, when I left, I could not believe even my own mother would disown me! I was her only child! Then she and I reunited in 2000, it was not so easy at first, we barely knew each other anymore, but she came around, and thats why I feel hope for you, I never thought it would happen. Hopefully, in time, and things don't happen the way the JWs say its going to, maybe she will open her eyes. I just want you to know, that I understand completely, thats all.
Nikki

Thank you, Nikki, thank you. You don't know how much that means. Mom and I were "best friends" when I was growing up. That's what makes this so hard for me right now, I think, is that I have been cut off cold turkey from a relationship that she maintained with me even through both of my disfellowshippings (though it wasn't the same as when I was reinstated and being the best JW ever). Sorry - not trying to hijack this thread.

Nowman

GG/BG,

It would be my fault that this thread was hijaked !

Thread topic, should I DA myself or not?***trying to keep the thread going here***

I agree that you have had a successful fade, keep up the good work. It works for now, later on something may change, you may have to make a different decision, but until then just keep doing what your doing...Nikki

becca1

You've got it made. Many of us would love to be in your situation. Why "rock the boat"?

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

You've got it made. Many of us would love to be in your situation. Why "rock the boat"?

YES, what she said. I feel very strongly about this.

Should I DA myself or not?

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