As others have said, if you have gone 8 years and no problems so far, you have already faded. Enjoy!
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Should I DA myself or not?
by Mrs Smith 31 Replies latest jw experiences
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jwfacts
I was out to dinner with a group of faders on the weekend, and only a couple of us were d/f. The faders all appreciate the fact that they still have contact with family and friends. I would recommend you don't rock the boat.
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jakes
Mrs Smith!
You have a private message in your inbox
jakes
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willyloman
Like someone said, you've already won. IMO, you should not allow them any measure of control over your life. To DA at this point would send a message, but not the one you think - it would be like saying you owe them an explanation. You don't owe them anything.
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Honesty
Thanks everyone. My mom turns a blind eye to all the christian (non-jw) books in my home. Goes deaf when the kids say they go to church. So she's pretty cool about it all. Still nags me to go to meetings. At least my kids can have a relationship with her. Mr Smith parents are not that easy, they keep their dealings with us to the minimum. Mrs. Smith
Many of us would love to be in your shoes. I say, "Let it Be."
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BabaYaga
WELCOME! We're glad to have you here!
I am in a blessed position of having my loved ones who are still JW's express their love for me.
My Dad once strongly suggested I write a letter to the society if I was not going to any more meetings. I told him I wasn't going to do that. I think that secretly, he was quite relieved. Much easier for him, wouldn't you say?
What I did not tell him is that I felt I would still be giving them power. If they did NOT have power, and I was NOT playing by their rules anymore, the question would be... what letter? What do I have to say to these strangers who have no power over me? Or, as Glenda the Good succinctly put it, "You have no power here! Be gone!"
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Lady Liberty
Dear Mrs. Smith,
WELCOME to the forum!! Of course it is your decision, but if you do anything other than what you are doing right now, disassociating yourself will only hurt your relationship with your family, because a announcement will be made. Those that are ok with associating with you now, will most likely feel forced to shun you.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
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Little Bo Peep
A friend recently sent in a DA letter. Her mother, clear across the country, was notified by ??? She promptly emailed this ex-JW to inform her she never wanted to hear from her daughter again. Personally, I am torn. On the one hand, I want to write a DA letter, but on the other hand, why make it easy for them? I've had questions for 4 years, and no one has bothered to even call. I sometimes feel I'd be playing their "game". It's a very personal decision each must make. Thank goodness we are well beyond judging another by the choice they make, should it be different than what we might decide.
Little Bo Peep
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Mrs Smith
Thanks for all the messages. I will leave things as they are for now, never know what will happen in the future. My mom is a full time pioneer, poor thing. She still lives in hope that I will one day go back and that's why she hasn't shunned me. I just avoid talking about it with her.
The one day she was carring on about going back when I lost it and told her all the reasons why I didn't want to. One of the things that really upset me was that there was an elder in the cong that abused his two little girls, the wife was shunned by all and has since left and remarried a great "wordling". He on the other hand is still in the borg. Goes to meetings and hands out sweets to all the little children. Makes me want to puke. But the guy has loads of money so why would they want to kick him out!? After telling my mom that story she backed off and said that she doesn't blame me for not going back but that I should not turn my back on Jehovah. That was the end of that never spoke to her about this again. Didn't make her change her mind though. My dad just goes along with my mom, I don't have a good relationship with him so I don't really care if he talks to me or not. Talk about dysfunctional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing I know for sure, I will never raise my kids that way and am very greatful that my son was 5 and my daughter new born when we started fading away so they don't really know the JW life.
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LittleToe
It sounds like things are about as good as they get