I hope you're not in the business of selling things, you missed your chance to "close" the deal. Big time! OK, maybe that was insensitive, keep up your efforts, she'll come around. Most of all, be patient, put yourself in her shoes, this will be very tough for her to get her arms around.
Did I miss my opportunity?
by StillGroggy 24 Replies latest jw experiences
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JWdaughter
The slander/gossip issues are easy, but ultimately they are very human and trivial-though they are important to lives in their own way.
I understand how hard this is for you (and your wife). She is a 'good' JW, sticking with it though she has doubts, but because she is so 'good', you can use it to her advantage. She looks to you as the head of the household. When she has a serious question, give it space to grow, fertilize it, encourage her to speak of her feelings on the subject. Of course, if necessary, assure her that it is between both of you, as a married couple, and it will never be spoken of to anyone in your congregation or to the WT org. Let her be very safe with her true feelings, doubts and also the things she feels convicted of. Give her the room to be honest and SAFE. Be honest back at her about the things she shares with that you agree with. Expand on them. You are blessed that both of you are moving in the same direction. . .you may be a couple of steps ahead of her, or she may be a poster online here-ya just never know!
I have had some issues with conscience. What is a bible trained conscience if the WT has to tell you what it IS? You read the Bible, you get your OWN conscience. The WT telling you something is not you being convicted, it is you becoming a parrot. I'm glad you get that-someone asked about JW things that drove us nuts, and that was at the top of my list. Grrr.
When you are both honest at least to each other, it will feel like a huge sack of coal is off your backs. Happy day to you!
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Free
Dude, Go on Amazon and order both of Ray Franz's books RIGHT NOW. Think about it, Don't waste one more minute at the hall until you do. How about living your lives guilt free. It will change your life and begin the healing for both you and your mate, I read C.O.C. in three days and I hate to read. It will put the first pieces of the puzzle in place. Get any of that " I can't, it's apostate literature" shit out of your head quick If it is there. That guy was on the governing body and even if half of what he brings up is bull, its enough. It will be a challenge that your mates family are in deep, be careful and try for the escape. All you have to do is keep your mouths shut and claim spiritual weakness to the friends and family, move to another area, that's right move. Keep your thoughts on this forum and start your free life. Time waits for no one. Welcome.
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drew sagan
JW daughter just posted some great comments.
It's important you never loose your focus and allways keep 10 steps ahead. Better keeping your mouth shut rather than getting into a discussion you can't handle.
Another great point is that since you are looked to as the head of the household, you can lead your family in a more spiritual direction that moves far beyond the Watchtower. I will balance out my last comment with this point. You can talk about the Bible as much as you like, as long as you are never doing so in order to prove the Watchtower wrong.
This means focus your attention to more spiritual things. Bring out the deeper meaning. To the WTS the deeper meaning is how some ancient practice in the nation of Israel forshadowed a toilet at Brooklyn Bethel. One thing that helped me move my wife along alot was all of the extra reading I was doing in 'other' publications (Bible commentaries, online stuff). A good in depth study of the book of Romans (or any of Pauls letters) can be quite refreshing.
If your wife knows you respect the Bible, and are becoming a more spiritual person by digging deeper into its pages, the less she is going to feel threatened by a differance of opinion about the Watchtower.
Use the Bible to upbuild, not to tearn down. This is a great stradgey. Another thing I found myself doing was I started to use a more 'christian' speak when I was talking about the Bible and spiritual things and used less 'JW' speak. Talking alot more about Christ, and less about all those works! This spiritual discussion really lighten up the tensions. She did not feel so challenged but instead was encouraged. -
StillGroggy
Drew Sagan and JWDaughter, You both are awesome! Thanks for the personalized advice. I wanted to get some other bible translations for comparison as well as some well-respected commentaries that the society quotes from (IE, strongs) Any good suggestions? I think the internet will come into question due to the Dub paranoia, but a book the society quotes will go under the radar. Also I'm just going to present the info on "the generation" to her and ask her how she feels about it, tell her how I felt about it, and let that stew. Also, FREE, I've read portions of both books, the ones i found on wikipedia, but I can't buy it on amazon because I'll blow my cover. I've been using local library searches to find one I can check out. I believe they exist. Then again in the past I had a JW "friend" who worked at a video store, spied on my rentals, and told the elders he was stumbled by something I rented. The elders told me about it, but of course wouldn't tell me WHAT it was he didn't like, so I couldn't address it (It could've been a freaking disney movie for all I know, or something a non-witness family member rented on my account.) So with my luck, there's a witness-librarian who would see my name, turn me in, and get me DFed. But somewhere I would be relieved and thank YHWH for setting me free. BTW, the line about the toilet in bethel KILLED me. So true...