The double standards continue to amaze me.

by alienagent 16 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Arthur

  Hi alienagent

  I don't think that I ever welcomed you to the forum either. So, hello; and welcome. I enjoyed reading your thread because I relate to many of your feelings and observations.

  What you wrote about the delusion is so very true. The indoctrination of JWs is truly amazing. Have you read the book: "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan? If you haven't read it yet; I strongly urge you to do so. I always recommend it to just about any ex-JW. The book discusses psychological manipulation tactics, indoctrination processes; and how they work. It explains how very intelligent people can be held captive by such nonsensical beliefs. When I read the book for the first time; I was blown away. It was if Steven Hassan was describing the Watchtower Society to a tee. (even though he never mentions JWs) The book has been extremely helpful to me.

  Again, welcome to the forum. Hope you stick around for a while.
• 

  awol

  Welcome to you too! Well, I haven't been on here for a long time, but after reading your post I just wanna give you a big ((hug))!!

  How about asking your mum why she feels she can associate with your sis and not you firstly. Cos until you actually ask you won't know why she feels this is okay.

  If she wants to go by the orgs PROPER way of thinking then it should go like this:

  If your sis lives there then she can live with her but not seek out association with her. She can talk to the boyfriend as he is unbaptised but she cannot have him living in the house with your sis as she is condoning their fornication (!!). She cannot talk to you if you are disfellowshiped or you have disassociated yourself. She CAN associate with your girlfreind as she is neither baptised nor disfellowshipped. In fact she SHOULD speak to her. She can obviously see the children linked to your sis.... and any you have!!!

  How f**d up is all that!! And the absolute way to make a complete disfunctional family if ever I saw it!! The poor children have NO idea what the heck is going on!!

  Not wanting to take over your thread but just to say, my BIL is just like your mum. I called him up to ask why he wouldn't come to my mums when we were there. I am not d'fd but fallen away, live with bfriend etc. His reasoning: He can go to the house if just my boyfriend and kids are there.... but not me. His kids can see mine, but NOT me! There poor little faces as I turned up (they were living next door to my mum) and outside their house when I arrived to see mum! They looked horrified to see me and ran indoors quick! Yep I checked the mirror but I hadn't turned into a monster!! imo! lol. The kids also asked my mum who is fallen away if she is gonna die at armageddon!!! that is the picture they have in their minds!!! NICE and christian I don't think.

  Best of luck with your mum, all I can say is this is a great place to come and visit and get advice. It will keep you strong and the people are all so kind and helpful and I have been very happy to belong here!! xxx
• 

  greendawn

  So many families have been divided and destroyed by the extremist views of this organisation, and it's interesting how they sugar coat this criminal behaviour: it is for the ex members own good to be intensely pressured to return quickly to the org and be saved from a soon to be Armageddon. Likewise the Inquisition was torturing people to save their souls.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Alienagent -

  Your story is sad indeed. The double standard you mention seems to be issuing from your mother more than the organization, I fear.

  The organizational ideas regarding shunning, while wrong IMO, are supposed to be applied equally to all that are DA'd and DF'd. It appears your mother has found a way to loophole your sister and her boyfriend in her mind. Though the organization certainly aids such foolish thinking in general, she is in violation of the 'rules' by her actions with your sister.

  I wish you well. Sad story.

  Jeff
• 

  jgnat

  alienagent: I am very happy to say that I have moved out and have my own apartment. I am also only 5 minutes from my job! Yipee! Wow, how things have improved drastically.

  Yaay! I love good news. I also like to confirm if board advice actually works. Thanks for checking in. You remind me of the one healed leper who came back to thank Jesus. Gratefulness is a great quality to have in life. It will serve you well.

  You said (not verbatim) that you treat JW's as if the they are mentally ill. Do not question the delusion that they live under.

  This sounds very much like garybuss. His dry approach, I am sure, drives regular Witnesses battier than they already are.

  The one thing that has bothered me most is that there is absolutely nothing within the organization that truly helps people with everyday living. There are no volunteer services to assist the less fortunate - no assisted living - no nothing

  I heartily agree. Is this not the picture of evil pharisees who load burdens on the backs of the people they cannot carry?

  I have a girlfriend (yes, she is an evil "worldy" girl) that has asked about my family and wants to meet them. After all, she and I are very close and it is only natural to desire acceptance from the family.

  Hmmm, that is a toughie. Perhaps parakeet is right.

  alienagent, maybe you should take your girlfriend to meet your mother. They say the burnt hand teaches best.

  I also suggest you both learn how to deal with toxic parents. Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward
• 

  Jerohobobonadad

  I have a girlfriend (yes, she is an evil "worldy" girl)

  Good for you! Evil/ Worldly are the best kind!

  You might want to remind your mum that she may one day have grandchildren through you and if she wanted to have anything to do with them she'd better be sensible.

  I will never understand the doublestandards either. A friend of mine, who has stopped going to meetings but still believes made a pertinent observation. He said his brothers would have more time for a heroin addict who stole from them, but was studying, than they would for him.

  I heard of a young girl (late teens) getting pregnant - her elder father kicked her out. She had to go to a shelter for women. Sane people cannot understand the thought process that makes a father kick out his pregnant teenage girl. Another girl (late teens) got pregnant, claimed she was raped (but did not go to the police), had the child no problems then the "rapist" boyfriend came onto the scene and everything was ignored! Disgraceful.
• 

  alienagent

  THANKS for the support and the advice! Also, thanks for sending the quote from garybuss. I wish I had time to comment on each message individually. I will defintely take all of this advice to heart! Somehow my mother is able pulls some strings in the cong. with this situation. My brother-in-law is an elder and lives on the property - it is obvious that he has a lot of influence in the matter. Yes, this religion has created countless disfunctional families. We have all seen them throughout the course of being part of the Borg collective. It is a relief to finally feel disconnected from the mechanical, brain-sucking borganization.

  Funny, my elder br-in-law loves to use the phrase "mental-regulating of Jehovah" when talking to his kids. When they seem to "stray" from what the wts outlines as acceptable, they act almost terrified by it.

  Again, thank you all. The support is wonderful! There are so many good people out there. I know that there is evil in the world as the wts likes to preach (i.e. buzzwords "this old system" "wicken system") but friends that I have made in the "world" never leave my side ... they have never judged me for my beliefs, they are simply there for me and will likely be friends for life. No more conditional friendships.

  alienagent