good luck.
Breaking my silence
by dawgfan 41 Replies latest jw friends
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defective light
Welcome dawgfan!
Do not weep for your broken borg marriage! Rejoice for the freedom you have aquired! you will never regret the choice you were given....NEVER!
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wozadummy
Hello dawgfan
Sorry to hear of your troubles but I would like to theorize that perhaps she has met another witness and sees that as the easier path and has grown to see you as baggage that will not change for her to the JW crap.
What she may be counting on is you being "worldly" and needing company with another person so she gets the easy way to be free to marry a "brother" ,as she will say you are committing adultery and that frees her up for a scriptual divorce. See she can get a legal divorce anytime but the Elders won't recognise the divorce unless she shows you are an adulterer.
So make it hard for her any way you can to hide any future adultery on your part ,that way she can't marry again - ok it sounds devious but she has torn down your dignity and does'nt deserve your respect by giving her an easy way out. Like they say "you can only fight fire with fire" and in that way you can free yourself up for a positive new future without the memories of a controlling bitch and organisation backing her ,the society is full of manipulative people....took me 30 years to see enough and say that is enough!
Steve
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becca1
I am really sorry for your situation. I think, there may be more to your wife's story than she is letting on. As others have already pointed out, she broke the WT rules by marrying you and she is also breaking them by leaving you. The Society gives only three reasons for separation: Spousal abuse, spiritual endangerment and lack of financial support. If you do not fit any of these, she cannot leave you and be in good standing in the cong. To divorce you and be able to re-marry you would have to have been unfaithful to her.
Under no circumstances would she be encouraged to leave you to "get closer to Jehaovah". Even though you are not a witness she would be admonished to fulfill her commitment to the marrige.
So,the WT is not guilty of breaking up your marrige. You may want to did a little deeper into your wife's true motives.
It's a shame to see a marrige crumble but it's even worse if someone is being deceived. I don't mean to make matters worse for you but I don't want you to be fooled.
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JWdaughter
I was sad to read your story, but all of us former JWs could see where it was going-your tone was very regretful.
I hope that you will realize that this isn't really your fault, there was a good chance of this happening no matter how 'perfect' of a husband you even could have been.
Go forward, be happy and be glad that your only loss was financial. Your heart can heal, and like you said-at least there were no children. That is more a blessing than you can know in this situation. I hope you aren't scared off of women-not all will use you. You will be again be happy and may someday have a wife who doesn't worship 'jehovah's organization'. Religion isn't always a recipe for disaster, but that one sure is. A few special ones that you have met on this board survive, but it is not easy. Take care, and WELCOME to the board-we are happy to get to know you, though sad at your circumstances.
Shelly
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600murray
My initial thought was that she is having an affair...perhaps of the heart, but maybe more. It is not easy to leave a relationship, unless someone is waiting in the wings.
Don't think that just because she is a witness she wouldn't do that, as mentioned above, she is not considered a "good witness"
Maybe a brother has turned her head and she wants to start over. She would not be able to remarry until one of you commit adultry, she would be free though if you slept with someone...which I am sure you would eventually.... then she would be free to move forward.
Sorry...its just the first thing that I thought of when you said she gave you the cold shoulder at the airport.
they know how to work the system....
speaking from experience,
600
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Little Bo Peep
So sorry to her of your loss. Venting on this board will give you a measure of comfort I'm sure. It's sure strange how a JW can rationalize leaving a mate is acceptable with Jehovah, even though the Bible definitely says differently. It seems a few years back the Wt came out with information (probably new light) that if one's spirituality is in jeopardy it would be alright. It's really something what is right there (in between the lines). Hang in there. Time heals the wounds and life does go on.
Little Bo Peep
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BabaYaga
Hello and WELCOME, DAWGFAN!!! Thank you for sharing, we're very glad you're here.
and WELCOME, also, to 600MURRAY!!! We hope you both stick around!!!
Cheers!
Baba -
Frannie Banannie
Welcome to JWD forum, Dawgfan.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did for you. I wish you'd been "tuned in" to JWD before you took the step of getting married to a witness, but irregardless, it's a blessing that yall didn't have any children.
If there is someone waiting in the wings, don't be surprised if you notice "spies" in the neighborhood. Even after the divorce, if your wife wants to be remarried, she and at least one other witness or perhaps she'll choose two other witnesses to spy on you to see if you begin dating and indulge in an intimate relationship eventually with someone else. If she wishes to remarry and they can "witness" this type of conduct or see that someone of the opposite sex has spent time in private with you for an hour or more, it will free her to "scripturally" remarry.
Frannie
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AlanF
You need to cut your losses and get away from this nutjob as soon as you can. Been there.
AlanF