WELCOME, D in Dallas!!
Well first of all, THANK the gods you've got custody. That helps considerably.
It doesn't sound like he's in any danger of converting (much to their chagrin, I'm sure) but the guilt trip sucks regardless. Sounds like he knows that his mom is a bit of a nut case and it sucks the joy and breath out of him to be there.
You ARE doing the right thing. One suggestion might be to let him read these boards! Tell him what it's all about... tell him you have a place where there is an answer to ANYTHING and everything the JW's try to tell him. Let him discover and come to the understanding himself that ignoring JW's does not in ANY way mean ignoring GOD, in fact, just the opposite, as MY GOD does not approve of their hateful practices!!!
He is not baptised, thank heavens, so they can't do a damned thing about him being here, even if he DOES let on.
All the best to you.
Single Dad- spark
by D in Dallas 14 Replies latest jw friends
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BabaYaga
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Quandry
Welcome Single Dad
It sounds to me like you are a great dad. First of all, you have so many positive things to say about your son. You are obviously giving him the praise and encouragement he needs to become a fine young man.
I do not think you have too much to worry about. I would be sure to let him know that he can make up his own mind, and that you have confidence in him. However, you might, to help him decide, look up some info about the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, starting with their founder, Charles T. Russell. Progress to the next President, Rutherford. They both made some pretty bizarre predictions and statements. Back in the early J.W. history, they said that vaccinations were "like taking puss into the body" and other ridiculous health statements. You could show him the false prophesies made by these men. He could even share the information with his mother and ask her about it.
I feel bad that your son is being torn and made to feel guilty. Above all, the WT Society heaps this on its members. Wouldn't it be better for his mother to also show her pride in her son instead of constantly telling him God doesn't like what he does?
Please, at all costs, try to discourage your son from being baptised. Then if he makes a mistake, sometimes even a minor one, he could be treated terribly by this organization. You have only to look at posts from this site about disfellowshipping and shunning to see what it can do to people.
Keep up your good work as single dad.
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D in Dallas
thank you all for the great advice. I have immersed myself over the past 13 yrs. about JW and have a great deal of knowledge about them.We show him the alternative ways of thinking about rel. and the bible but don't try to push it down his throat like they do. He knows that things don't make sense but gets unbeliveable pressure from them. I also HAVE let him read this site on a number of occasions and have shown him some of the videos on YouTube....I'll be in my office watching with the vol. up and he'll come and sit down and watch...so I'm being a little sneaky too ;) I'll keep doing what I'm doing...just seems like I'm losing the battle and the war sometimes.
Thanks again everyone! Good to be here!
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MsMcDucket
Reinforce your beliefs. Let him know that he doesn't have to choose any religion. You have to counter their teachings. They say that God's name is Jehovah and that they are the only ones using it. Show him were the tetragrammaton* has not truly been deciphered that the Witnesses don't use God's name correctly either. Make sure that he knows that biblical scholars don't agree with the Witnesses. Make sure that he knows that they do use brainwashing in their religion. Show him movies about brainwashing. Tell him that he can always come to you for help when he has questions. Most of all if you believe in God, then tell him that God will love him for being a good person, not for being a Jehovah's Witness.
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juni
From reading your postings D in Dallas, you seem to be a wonderful father to your son. I feel the therapist is right. Your son is 13; he's making his own decisions about life. I feel that the attitude and pushiness of his mom and family will help him make the right decision - avoid the JW religion.
You may see him "test" the waters by going to the Hall so don't get overly concerned. You know how young people have to try things - I know I certainly did. But I feel that in the end he will see the craziness of their beliefs and ways and will want a "normal" life for himself.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Be there for him as a support and be open in your conversations. Really I'm preaching to the choir here. I know you'll do a great job helping your son to grow into a healthy, responsible adult! Having the therapist is a very smart idea as she is a neutral party who can be of great benefit to him and keeping you up to date w/his feelings.
Juni Welcome to the forum also. I'm glad that you felt comfortable joining in. Have a wonderful weekend w/your family.