What is the re-instatement process?

by megsmomma 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dismembered

  Sir82 smashes the nail on the head

  Dismembered
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  Sunspot

  They'd want to set up a judicial committe 1st. to "pick your brain" so to speak, and determine where you stand

  Yes, among the other things that were posted on this thread.....but the main point is that the WTS HAS COMPETE CONTROL and God has absolutely NOTHING to do with any of this!

  Sitting at te back of the KH, not making eye-contact with the other JWs, having to show up to demonstrate what THEY perceive as "repentant attitude" is all an exhibition for the elders and the congregation to SEE. Nobody in that Kingdom Hall can determine what you really think, feel, or believe in respect to the WTS teachings....yet having you jump through THEIR hoops and at THEIR command....is obviously NOT Christlike at all.

  hugs,

  Annie
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  OnTheWayOut

  The thing I worry about is that when she gets older she will realize that (as the elders manual says) shunning DA'd DF'd is neccesary to have a good relationship with Jehovah....and I don't want her to feel guilty for loving me or talking to me. I definitley want her to see what the WTBTS is....

  Ask a professional child psychologist if it is dangerous or good to do the following:

  Influence your daughter to know that baptism into that religion would force her to stop speaking to Mom.
  Delaying baptism until young adulthood would allow her to avoid that problem.
  Start allowing her to see the problems you see with the WTS, subtly.

  See how far would be good. Keep in mind that you do not want her to join a cult, so don't just
  dismiss ideas that might confuse her. Just be careful that you do no harm, as you know the WTS
  will harm her life.
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  OnTheWayOut

  If, years from now, she gets baptized after all your efforts, you might consider reinstatement. Don't bother now.

  In that case, start showing up at Sunday meetings. Arrive half way thru and leave before it's over. Do that for 3 mos. or so, then do the same for the School and Serv. Mtg. Don't even bother with the book study. Do that another month or two, staying a bit longer each time. Then go to the complete 5 meetings, showing up on time, staying til the end, for only a couple of weeks. Immediately put in your letter, lie your ass off, get reinstated (which will take another 1-3 months) with no commenting privileges, and you can stop attending meetings altogether as soon as you want to. You can then refuse the elders visits and counsel, but never bad-mouth the organization in a way they will find out. Don't tell your daughter that you are an apostate, just say you are depressed.
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  PoppyR

  I can understand this must be awful. BUT if your daughter loves you, the very fact she is asked not to speak to you based on something you did when you were 14 should prove to her the religion is a load of s****

  What message are you sending her by being reinstated?

  Personally I've faded, but could be DFed, my children still attend, my son aged 12 said to me categorically that the day they told him he couldn't speak to me was the day he'd leave. This fills me with confidence that they will see the org for what it is.I never badmouth the organisation I just say to them both that I will love and support them whatever choices they make, and I point out that I wasn't that lucky, my parent would only support me if I made one choice. Therefore I had none.

  I think hang tight for a few years. you know kids (especially girls) at that age are very into religion, wait til she discovers boys, friends, and wants to do her own thing, I think you'll find this is all a distant memory and she will never be baptised.

  If you are reinstated you will have to keep a very low profile to avoid being DFed again.

  Obviously all your decision, but I could never go back for any price.

  Poppy
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  greendawn

  Many ex dubs accept the humiliation of being treated as non entities at the KH for months to get reinstated and reconnect with family. But your case shows that it's criminal to have little children baptised. You were DF from the age of 14 and suffer consequences since then. If you knew what you were doing you would never get baptised and never get stigmatised soon after.
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  yaddayadda

  This really brings home just how rotten the JW's shunning policy is. I really feel for you man. Just don't panic. She is still very young and the best thing now is to just build up such a strong bond with her that she could never cut you off. Love conquers evil, and if your daughter grows up really loving and respecting her father then the WTS dark side will not be able to overpower her. As she gets older and you sense it is starting to become an issue with her (if it does), you could tactfully engage her thinking on about certain bible principles that may make her realise something is wrong with the shunning policy (eg, the good samaritan, to love your enemies, a person who neglects family is worse than a person without faith). The shunning policy can actually be quite easily refuted scripturally (eg, the same Greek word is used for the Society's 'marking' policy as is used in 1 Cor 5 - so you should only be 'marked' not shunned. 3 John only applies to those who turn their backs on God and Christ, not a religious organisation.) So if she one day directly confronts you about it you could try and reason with her scripturally along those lines. You would at least severely dent her confidence in the Society's interpretations on the subject. I would only consider getting re-instated as a desperate last measure, if she in fact bows to the pressure to shun you. Just some thoughts anyway.