Were you Socially inadequate after leaving the Organization?

The wanderer

Socially inadequate after leaving the organization

The organization encouraged—no demanded that individuals who were
Jehovah's Witnesses to restrict their association to other individuals who
also were Jehovah's Witnesses. The exceptions that were made were
work, school and field service.

The view concerning "worldly people"

For the most part unbelievers, worldly people and those not
associated with the organization were viewed in less flattering
terms. There was no reason to have "friendships with the world,"
according to the Watchtower's interpretation.

Adjusting your viewpoint regarding people

Admittedly, it has taken me sometime to make the "adjust-
ment" regarding people. Instead of looking down on them
and labeling them according to how we were taught as
Jehovah's Witnesses. I now view them as human beings
with the same emotions and feelings that I too have.

Questions regarding this topic

Did it take you a long time to readjust your view-
point regarding people?
How did you feel socially after leaving the organization?
Have you made a smooth adjustment or are you
challenged socially at times?

Please take the time to post your thoughts
for your benefit and the benefit of others.

Respectfully,

The Wanderer

tijkmo

leave me alone

yaddayadda

It's still a struggle. Must admit I miss the JW social scene.

return visitor

It was no trouble for me, I always treated witnesses like worldly people, the same standard for all. I learned that from a carpenter.

dedpoet

I had no problems at all. I had had a life pre - jw, and I was still in touch with some of my old friends anyway. I started going out with them before I quit the meetings, so you could say I made my preparations to leave before I actually left. I didn't look down on people while I was a jw anyway.

Finally-Free

I was an adult convert, so I gave up all my "worldly" friends. The JWs never really accepted me because I used to be "worldly" and therefore bad association. So I spent 20 years with virtually no social life at all. I got used to it, and eventually liked it that way.

Now I have a social life again, but only because I force myself to. I would much rather just stay home and spend all my time with my bird.

PoppyR

Did it take you a long time to readjust your view-
point regarding people?

Initially I didn't trust my 'worldly' friends and found myself looking for things they did as proof they were not good for me, I quickly realised they were much more loyal and less fickle than my witness 'friends'

How did you feel socially after leaving the organization
I felt fine, I think the organisation actually gives you very good social skills, unlike most of my worldly friends I can talk to anyone in any place about any subject, I think I function far better socially than lots of people who have never been witnesses

Have you made a smooth adjustment or are you
challenged socially at times?

I really dont think there is much 'adjustment'. I think the org teaches you respect for people, good manners and how to talk to strangers even if they dont want to talk to you, if there are positives to be taken away from it, (and I think there are a lot) then that is the main one. The only worry I have is that I dont have 'enough' friends...lol. i think it's because as a witness you always feel surrounded by them, and having only a few close ones feels weird!!

Poppy

Frannie Banannie

Been out 14 yrs and still feel socially inadequate. Might be because it's true. :)

daystar

Did it take you a long time to readjust your view-
point regarding people?

I was in one of those odd JW families who was allowed to associate loosely with worldy people even outside of necessity. So I had a bit more balanced view than some perhaps... there was not really any adjustment period for me.

How did you feel socially after leaving the organization?

I always felt socially inept not so much because of the restrictions against associating with worldly people, but because we were raised to be meek and to submit to pretty much any authority. I had rather low self-esteem, wouldn't look people in the eyes, stand up for myself, etc. But I would also argue defiantly to try to support that "I am right about everything" attitude. I think many of us here recognize that old demon well though.