Were you Socially inadequate after leaving the Organization? (page 2)

restrangled

I have always held jobs dealing with the public in very sensitive situations. One of them was for the govt. concerning the census.....long form retrevial for non compliers! This is an extremely invasive form, but was able to get 99% of the a people I was assigned to comply.

I have also worked as a legal secretary. Believe me, most clients deal with the secretaries and we had to filter out the problems, hurt, anger at the attorney or company, and deal with delays in payment.....and these companies love to delay payment to the clients. Hours were spent calming people down.

I was also voted in as President of a condo association....250 units. I got more done and saved this association more money than anyone could ever imagine. I worked my hind end off for free and finally resigned because it was a full time job requiring 60 hours a week dealing with vendors, owners etc.

Am I socially inadequate? ....I think not.

So again to answer your question; NO>

r.

daystar

Comes from always being afraid of being who you really are, saying what you really think, wearing what you really WOULD if it were acceptable. Being afraid that someone will see the 'real' me. Because the real me isn't really acceptable. Its been really 20+ years since I left, I really ought to get over it.

{{{JWdaughter}}}

I know exactly where you're coming from. It's been 15 years for me and only in the last four years or so did I finally, finally start being myself regardless the consequences. For me, I just really, somehow, changed my attitude to one in which I really didn't care what anyone else thinks. And you know what? I found that my kind of people just started to gravitate towards me. The people that weren't, drifted away.

Not everyone need like you.

serendipity

I was probably socially inept before, during and after. I'm an introvert, and socializing is tough.

looking_glass

Did it take you a long time to readjust your view-
point regarding people?
How did you feel socially after leaving the organization?
Have you made a smooth adjustment or are you
challenged socially at times?

No, because I was never taught that I was better than anyone else. My mom always had "worldly" friends and hung out w/ them.

I had already established a group of friends both JWs, active and otherwise, non-JWs. So I did not miss a step, I still have the same friends now that I had then (absent one or two who cut me off the minute I stated something other than the party line).

Again, not a prob. I work w/ people and problems. This is what I think works best for all peeps. Ask people about themselves. Not overly personal questions, just general ones. It appears that you care and are interested in them. There is nothing worse then someone who wants to talk all about them and their problems. JWs were taught to draw people out, use that to your advantage, get people to talk about themselves. It works wonders. Granted, sometimes you wish you had not asked the question, but it works.

sass_my_frass

I still am! I don't know how conversations are started when you don't start them with 'Oh you're in xyz Congregation, do you know old brother Garlicbreath?'

aoxo

i was very socialy crippled while in the org, because my friends weren't very good friends. i am now getting better but it was a very long, lonely and frustrating battle to become social with worldly people. i had no tools to use in conversation until i went to a therapist and got some. finaly after being out for three years i have some friends but i am still somewhat crippled and am still trying very hard to get more friends. i dont agree that the org teaches us how to associate with people because the way they teach it to us is just a facade and not genuine. maybe im not explaining this right but it just didn't seem to work out for me very well.

thecarpenter

Well, I have been out for about 7 months now and I found I had some major adjustments initially. I seem to be moving along nicely now, making more friends and a little less guarded now. I think one of the reasons things have been going along well is that I took and continue to take the initiative to meet new people and get involved in activities. I find that many people are a little reserved anyway (it is not just me) and sometimes need a little coaxing. In any event, I can truly say that I am enjoying the formative friendships I am currently making. I am also finding that I am smiling a lot more now. (not the glumly person I was while a witness)

Interestingly, some of my old witness friends still call me and want to do things together (they are unhappy but yet lack the resolve to investigate the society). I have been avoiding their calls but yet they still call (one of them tried to turn me in a few months back and tried to play it off recently). I feel sorry for them because they are so miserable but they need to make their own decisions and stand by it.

Lapuce

Still having trouble functioning outside of the org. People see me as some type of hermit I guess. It takes time, I've been out since 2002 and when through alot of pain, I did loose alot of friends in the 10 years that I was a witness. I only started calling back my old friends recently, it takes alot of time to get out of Prozac paradise.

greendawn

Not really since I stayed in the org as an active member for only a year and could see that the dubs didn't differ much from the rest of society, apart from sexual issues or so it seemed, so I didn't take seriously their belief that the worldly people were no good. Most of the dubs I knew were just as materialistic and unfriendly as any non JW.

fullofdoubtnow

I almost certainly would have been but for my bf, who was my only real friend when I exited. Through him, and a couple of people at work, I've made several other friends now.

Were you Socially inadequate after leaving the Organization?

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