I hate it when they make me cry!! (page 3)

Why Georgia

Scully,

I can understand how you are feeling. When I first moved here to Massachusetts some of the only people I knew, and some of the nicest I knew were at the KH.

Even though these people don't keep in touch with our family for obvious reasons, when I have seen them in public they have always been kind and loving.When I have heard about tragic circumstances it always makes me feel so sad and I send a card or note.

They are probably one of the reasons I can't hate the JW's completely.

Hugs to you,

Chrystal

LovesDubs

I can sooooo relate to this Scully. When I first started in the JWs I had a bad albeit "annointed" study conductor and her son was the ammoral SOB who got me into the Org via his bed. When I narked on him and got him DFd his mother turned on me like a cougar. The elder who DFd the guy said to me since I wasnt baptized, who would you like to study with now? I said...Your wife. She about died because she told me later I was such a strong personality that I scared even her, a seasoned pioneer. But we became very close. I moved in with them during a financial hard time and was baptised. She was my maid of honor and he conducted our marriage ceremony. We named our first born after this elder and my daughters middle name is after her name. They never could have children so my children are their children even to this day....22 years later. And when I DAd...they said some unbelievably harsh nasty things to me and cut me out of their lives like a gangrenous toe. I didnt even recognize them. But I often dream that we still can speak to each other...and when I wake and realize we cant...I weep for that loss.

And I weep that there isnt a damn thing I can do about it.

Finally-Free

Canadian Girl,

First of all, welcome to the forum and Happy Birthday from a fellow Canadian.

My mother was Catholic as well and converted to the JW cult in her mid 50's. I joined the cult as well a few years later, and was a JW for 20 years. I've been out for over 3 years now. JWs love to hate the Catholic church, and are trained to bash Catholics; they've done it often in their literature. And the JWs will bend over backwards in their attempts to discourage someone from viewing anything other than JW literature.

I'm working to get my mom out of the JW influence, but it's very, very slow. JWs have a persecution complex, so any disapproving word or action to them is viewed as "persecution from Satan", and it reinforces their belief that they "have the truth".

W

mouthy

And here I am, crying again.... .... because these are folks I genuinely miss...
Scully ((((((((((((((HUGS & XXXXXX)) I am crying with you. "weep with those who weep,laugh with those who laugh" I bet they went away laughing to see you alive & well .Wipe your eyes sweetie... ((((HUGS))
Welcome Canadian Girl I am in Waterloo Ontario if your near me... Pay a visit((HUG))

Jez

I deal with this by letting them decide. I push the accepted norm that we won't or can't be friends and invite them around for coffee. If I see an old friend that I really cared about, I tell them to give me a call if they ever want to talk, or do you want to come around for coffee?

If they don't call or come around, I know that they were NEVER my true friend anyways, nor what I would want in a friend now. My saddness is misplaced. I accept that I am mourning, not what was, but what I wish it was or thought it was. I dont want 'fair weather' friends.

I have had coffee with a few 'old' friends and the conversation is all gossip. Nothing deep or meaningful, and then I remember, it NEVER was deep and meaningful, it usually was gossipy, trivial and non-spiritual conversations that went on.

I have grown and matured, yet my old friends seem stunted and standing still in one place....waiting.

No thank you! Jez

canadian girl

Thats ok Arthur. I guess that I should have not flown off the handle so quickly and actuall read more posts before posting myself. That was my first post so I guess that I have learned my lesson well. I shall go and look up the book that you told me about and maybe I will get more insight into my mothers head.

canadian girl

Thank you "finally-free". It sure makes body feel good when a total stranger has more empathy then a mother.

JWdaughter

Scully, thanks for the reminder that JWs are worth the love, the trouble, the sorrow and the pain . Even our tears. These are just people that love and are lovable. Terribly manipulated and hurting themselves, they deserve us caring for them and remembering them. Most all of us have hurt and anger towards the WT society, but people are people, and we used to BE them. We were worth it, and so are they. We should be able to cry about those we miss-but we shouldn't HAVE to cry. We shouldn't be missing them for no other reason than we won't be JW. Thats just obviously messed up. I am sorry you are missing your friends. Perhaps you can find a way to reach out to them w/o them needing to turn away. What a sad thing to even write that last sentence. It is just wrong.

oldflame

There is another alternative. Do as some others I know, Go back to the borg.

JWdaughter

Old flame: Go back to the Borg? Isn't that a little harsh? If they can make her cry that much out of it, how much more do you think she was crying while in it?

I hate it when they make me cry!!

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