Is it everyone else's fault? (page 2)

valkyrie

...[T]hose who are in retail stores and are sales people (hell, in all service industries) have lost all sense of civility. They don't greet you. They don't show an interest in helping. They stand in groups with each other while you look for items without even acknowledging you exist. No one says, "I'll be right with you" if they're busy. When you walk up to the register to pay and the phone rings they answer it and talk to a friend at length without even letting you know that they will help you. I'm sorry, but customer service is an oxymoron [...].

WasanelderOnce,

You [almost certainly] MUST have lived in Amsterdam!

Mary

Do you feel the world population needs to take a little blame from time to time for their mistakes, or do you like thinking your always right?

Unfortunately, it's been in our nature to blame others for our mistakes ever since Adam pointed at Eve and said to God "...the woman whom YOU gave me, deceived me..."

I must be the oddball here. I have a huge capacity to feel self-guilt over things and to blame myself and beat myself up over it. Example: A few years ago, I had to arrange a meeting with the top managers in our firm. One top guy never showed up and told my boss that he was not made aware of the meeting. My boss was upset with me and after he left, I closed my office door and cried my eyes out for being so stupid. I looked up the original emails I had sent out and had proof that I had indeed, emailed this guy. I showed it to my boss who apologized profusely to me for "doubting me", but even then, I felt guilty as hell and apologized over and over. My boss looked at me like I was crazy and said "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong!"

I blame the religion for doing that to me.

itsallgoodnow

I think learning to recognize your own mistakes in whatever injustices might have happened to you is an important thing. Otherwise you never grow and learn, and you keep having the same problems forever.

jgnat

Admit a mistake. Welcome to the human race. It's our weakness that makes us brothers. People who have figured that out are heads above stronger than their fellow man. Here's some quotes from my newest favorite person:

http://quotations.about.com/od/stillmorefamouspeople/a/LouHoltz1.htm

http://www.harpercollins.com/authors/4583/Lou_Holtz/index.aspx?WT.mc_id=WLouHoltz

luna2

I'm with Mary. Almost everything is my fault. I've had to learn NOT to do this because some people will not only let you take all the blame, they will label you as a sucker and take advantage. These days I try to think it through more.

I agree that the WTS promotes and reinforces this trait. If something they said turns out to be false or bad advice or whatever, its all the fault of the R & F. I got sucked right into that too. I always felt that when things didn't work out or if I was confused about something they said, that it must be my fault for not reading it right or studying enough or some other pile of garbage reasoning. I would have left a lot sooner if I'd had more faith in myself.

Woofer

It doesn't bother me that people make mistakes (we all do) . . .its how you HANDLE the mistake that counts.

hambeak

I agree with woofer, I am in the auto repair business and people aren't here because they want to be they are here because they have to be. It always tickles me when for example on one occasion one of my techs changed the oil on this guys mercedes he came back a few days later and told me ever since you changed my oil my car shakes, I told him as I recall we recommended you get new pads and rotors as your rotors are warped and can cause some vibration he absolutely was convinced it was because we didn't do his oil change right. After about 15 minutes of listening to his tirade I just told him to leave. I guess that is what is nice about working for yourself. Sometimes we do make a mistake and when we do we fix it and don't charge the customer a dime.

Sad emo

Of course there are exceptions.

I'm glad you put that on the end W Once!!

I work in a small specialist shop and am able to say hello and goodbye to virtually all my customers, and I try to chat with them if they have time.

The reactions vary from totally ignoring me 'because I'm just there to fulfil their needs so get on with it', to bewilderment that a person behind the counter is actually friendly and likes to talk. When I'm using other shops, I'll always say hello and goodbye to the person serving me too. IMO there's nothing wrong with showing some basic manners.

On the 'I'm never wrong' mentality, I think we're the victims of an age where rights come before responsibilities. "It's all about me" - so even if someone is wrong and it's pointed out to them, you've obviously hurt their feelings which overrides anything else. Some folks just don't want to know the truth about themselves even if the truth jumps out and slaps them in the face.

(Sorry I went off on a bit of a rant there. Had to deal with this situation today and this topic hit the nerve!!)

And what woofer said.

free2beme

I find the worse thing to say to people that do not accept their own blame is, "I don't believe you!" It drives them nuts, as they are telling their lie of cover up to you, to make themselves believe it more and you are ruining it for them.

jgnat

What does work, free? I could use any tips for a similar problem I have at work.

Is it everyone else's fault?

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