NJ Recognizes Same-Sex Unions

by lonelysheep 14 Replies latest social current

  • Virgochik
    Virgochik

    I don't care if gay people get married, like anyone else. I just say, "Be careful what you ask for!" I think they're focused on the perceived joys of marriage, and some will inevitably discover the pain of divorce, as well. But they asked for all the same joy and pain and rights to experience alimony, visitation fights over the kids, divorce court, reduced standard of living after selling the family home, attorney fees, etc. It will be interesting, ten years from now, to see if the bloom is off the rose!

    For those who press on into happily ever after, I wish them all the best. Just be careful it's everything you thought it would be!

    When my partner and I split in the 90's, she just bought out my share of the house, signed over one of the cars to me, and life went on for her and her new girlfriend. Painful, but no lawyers or divorce court. I compare the relative ease with which we parted ways with how complicated a split could be if my husband and I got a divorce...lawyers, court, a judge dividing assets, someone getting stuck with the bills, months of waiting, changing my name back on documents and checks if I so chose, the house and cars, the retirement investments, etc.... no simple "I met someone else, and I'm moving out this weekend."

    T'will be interesting...

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Good for New Jersey! It would be great if the majority of the peoples' hearts & minds would change first, too. But, that may never happen...at least in the lifetimes of people that deserve equal rights now. So why wait ?

    Waiting for the majority to 'change their hearts'...reminds me of the lack of universal healthcare in this country...lots of people will be dead and buried long before healthcare is guaranteed as a citizens right.

    Rabbit

  • valkyrie
    valkyrie

    Virgochik wrote:

    I think they're focused on the perceived joys of marriage, and some will inevitably discover the pain of divorce, as well. But they asked for all the same joy and pain and rights to experience alimony, visitation fights over the kids, divorce court, reduced standard of living after selling the family home, attorney fees, etc. It will be interesting, ten years from now, to see if the bloom is off the rose!

    Virgochik, the 'pains' you offered as an example of the downside to marriage are actually the result of the parties' exercise of a legal recourse to secure legally recognized - but privately contested - rights... when a spouse is not amenable to a friendly, 'just-between-us' dissolution of the union. If both parties are reasonable and amiable, those particular pains need not be experienced. It was lucky for you that you and your girlfriend fell into that reasonable-and-amiable category, was it not? Otherwise - not having a legal fallback position - one or the other of you might have left the relationship going up the creek without a [legal] paddle.

    -V

  • jstalin
    jstalin
    I think they're focused on the perceived joys of marriage, and some will inevitably discover the pain of divorce, as well.

    You might be right, but I can tell you that the struggle for gay marriage is much more than just the "joy" of it. We need to be able to have the same legal protections, and that is the primary focus here. Things such as rights of survivorship for pension and insurance benefits, right of inheritance, right of dual child custody (many states do not allow gay couples to have joint custody of children), right to make medical decisions for each other in an emergency, etc. All those things that come with straight marriage are generally denied to gay couples, unless of course, we go through lots of legal wrangling to set things up in a marriage-like legal scheme. Even then, many medical and insurnace benefits can't be jointly shared.

  • lonelysheep
    lonelysheep
    Lonleysheep, are you really happy about this??

    Ooh, wouldn't you like to know!

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