Friendships

return visitor

When firmly entrenched in the borg I complained to my wife that friendships in the "truth" didn't seem as real as I noticed worldly people had. For instance, the worldly person I worked with was constantly doing things with friends, whether it was going to ball games or helping a friend put on a new roof. In our circle of friends we could never count on help, our friends were too busy trying to earn a living and doing the borgs bidding. In not for the elders, fading for me would be easy. I've not had an invite from a "friend" in the "truth" in over a year. Am I off base or do "worldly" people make better friends? And what does that say for "having love among themselves."?

RV

RR

Friendship and Love among the WItnesses is conditional. On the condition that you continue to actively support and promote the Watchtower.

All of my witness friends and family have abandoned me ... "out of sught, out of mind."

Yet I have one "worldy" friend who I have known since the 7th grade, who has always kept in touch with me through the years and he and I and our spouses are the best of friends.

RR

BabaYaga

I concur.

The only thing I could count on my JW friends for was to pull me aside (or even better, go talk to the elders about me) because they were so "concerned". I kid you not, I learned to detest that word.

I have non-JW friends who would do anything and go anywhere for me, and I would do the same for them.

ballistic

Friends are people you have a magnetism with. Acquaintances are people you are thrown together with. Occasionally acquaintances become friends but it is not gauranteed, in fact some acquaintances you may dislike.

I remember the first time I went to an apostfest, the feeling of friendship, that all the people were there because they *wanted to* and not because they had to.

exwitless

This is exactly the way I have felt about JW "friends". When I was an active JW, I often thought about the real friends I gave up because they were "worldly". They were replaced by people with fake smiles plastered on their faces who had "get-togethers" which were LAME!! (See my previous thread called 'Lame (or funny) JW get together stories.' I never felt like I could really talk to Witnesses; conversations were always centered around how smart and happy we are to be JWs and how wicked this world is; poor, stupid world. We could never just hang out and chat about stuff, because you never know who you might stumble with a semi-worldly idea you have. Just like you said, if it weren't for the pesky elders, fading would have been a piece of cake. We had to DA ourselves so they would leave us alone. Now, we are left to rebuild a network of friends, since we have NONE from "the world" that we had before becoming JWs.

garybuss

In my experience, non Witnesses make the only friends.

Crumpet

sNAP RR! I've found that the friends I made when I left at 16 have stuck by me whether i went back to the borg or not - through sick and sin as they say!

jwfacts

Our house used to be the entertainment hub of our congregation. When I became inactive overnight we did not have a single invitation anywhere. Almost nothing for 12 months. It made being d/f far easier as I already felt that I was being shunned, and even my close friends no longer had anything to do with me.

My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW

I went on a fishing trip last summer in Canada with 7 friends from grade school. One friend I've had since I was three. That's 45 years.

My wife who was raised a JW, has a wonderful personality, yet has no friends that she grew up with, except for her cousins.

choosing life

When you are forced to associate with people you would not choose to on your own, you get pretend friendships. When you can't express an honest opinion without raised eyebrows, these are not true friends. The lack of love in the congregations is so obvious. People can be so fake. When you fade after many years as a witness and only 2 people ever call you, something is wrong. I look forward to real friends again- like the ones I gave up to become a witness. They love you no matter what.

Friendships

Share this