Was I shunned?

AudeSapere

Did she really just shun me??

After work today, I went to a restaurant to pick up some dinner. As I walked to the counter I passed a woman who I knew along time ago. I didn't know right away 'where' I knew her from but I looked her in the eye and simply said: "Hi," with a small smile.

I got no response. She glanced briefly at me and looked down as she walked past me.

Hmmm. Then I remembered where I knew her from. My old job. For about 13 years her kids were patients at my office - AND I remembered that they were also witnesses. Her husband was an elder. He was with her. We used to have very, very pleasant chats. I even went to their congregation for a few times while I was trying to re-gain the joy that I had lost in the organization. (I never talked to her about this, in fact, I never really told anyone that I was feeling joyless.)

She and her husband looked the same as they had. Just a little (not much) older. I remember them being happy. Not today. They looked tired and unhappy.

While I was getting condiments, the Husband came over to get some too. I made small talk with him and he smiled a little. He did not recognize me. But he never really knew me personally.

I collected my food and started to leave but decided to push just a little bit to check if I was really shunned or not. So I stopped at their sad table and said with a nice smile "Hi. Maybe you don't remember me but I really didn't want to leave without acknowleding you. Maybe you didn't recognize me. I'm D***** - from Dr B*****'s office."

I got a smile from her. Within seconds she asked: "Weren't you also friends with D****** H****?" (D****** H**** was the eldest daughter of a prominent JW family in the area.) "Yes! We were roommates for a few years."

They asked how I've been. And I let them know! I'm doing great! Thanks for asking. A new job - doing very well there. Just bought a really nice home in a very pretty area two miles from work. They asked how I got the job and I told them it started while I was working on a project for school.

My life sure isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn good. I decided to share the good points especially after reading of others experiences here.

Now, if they asked me about meetings, I would have told them the truth. Then maybe they would have shunned me. Maybe not. But we'll never know because they didn't ask and I didn't have a need to tell.

I'm glad I stopped and chatted. I wasn't shunned at all. They were just sad and tired and it showed.

-Aude.

Chameleon

Well, it's nice that they spoke to you. Did you fade, btw?

carla

But are they stressing out now because they may have talked to a da'd or df'd one? Having the 'let's not tell anyone we saw her' conversation?

SirNose586

Well, it was good that they at least had the courtesy to acknowledge your existence, like they wouldn't have done otherwise if you were really shunned. As for your observation that they were tired, I really don't know how you came to that conclusion!

How can you be sad and tired when False Religion's End is Near? Oh right, there exact nature of that nearness does change often...

But wait, how can you be sad and tired when Jehoover provides? Oh right, you didn't get an education when you were in school because your elders told you not to, and now you're stuck at a low-paying dead-end job.

But wait, how can you be sad and tired when the love of the congregation is so strong? Oh, right, apathy is spreading and the average attendance is down (heard it last Sunday). Congregations are being shutdown and repackaged to force high attendance numbers.

As you can see, this couple has every reason to be happy.

Asheron

Maybe they heard about a certain Apostafest in NJ.

JWdaughter

Nose said: "Congregations are being shutdown and repackaged to force high attendance numbers." I was wondering how that forces high attendance numbers? That they can say how much more people are in a particular cong. or building? Do they compel the JWs in some other way to attend more? What is that all about? I am just curious. Thank you!!

JWdaughter

I am glad their humanity overcame their training! What a slap in the face of the org. Unless they have left and are being shunned by everyone THEY love. Would explain the attitude of weariness and sadness. Or they could have lost someone dear to them. Hope they find a way to be happy again.

pippy

i think its weird , because they dont know who to shun anymore,, how do they know if you have come back and they can talk to you now, or if you are still shunned.

i was reinstated last july and everyone i see still looks at me blankly and if i talk to them , they look very VERY uncomfortable. which i find amusing in a strang way. Lots of brotherl love coming my way!!!

Black Sheep

My life sure isn't perfect, but it's pretty darn good. I decided to share the good points especially after reading of others experiences here.

Good work Aude. You did the right thing.

A seed sown.......

Cheers

Chris

AK - Jeff

That is a good outcome, Aude.

I have made a personal pact [with myself I suppose] that I will not allow 'shunning' without explanation. I think the average dub will not 'shun' 100% in a public place if it looks like a 'scene' could occur, making their religion look bad to others.

They will walk right past you, or look away, but if approached my theory is they will at least politely acknowledge you. I tested this theory yesterday. Two witnesses [one of them my cousin] whom I had been great friends with for many, many years, walked by the coffee bar I visit most mornings. I noticed they glanced inside, but did not come in. I went out to the street, and yelled a hello as they were about 200 feet down the street by then. They turned around and walked back toward me, looking a little nervous. I put my hand out and shook their's. They did not hold back. I asked how each of their wives were in turn. We spoke for maybe 45 seconds. I invited them into the coffee shop for a cup. They declined, and I saw my cousin's face twitch a little in nervousness. Of course he was with an elder at the time. I really think that he would have come inside if not for that. This, on the Wednesday following my DA announcement.

Inside - I believe in the decency of people, no matter the stripe. If they show themselves to be so ungodly so as to refuse to speak to me, I will make sure that all the 'worldly' people in the area become aware of this being the kind of love shown by Jehovah's witnesses. I don't think it will take too many cases of this before they realize the damage done to the religion is greater than the damage that occurs by being kind and speaking to an old friend for a moment.

I think honest and decent witnesses are tired of all the foolishness in the matter too, deep inside. Given the opportunity they will let decency show.

Jeff

Was I shunned?

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