by AlmostAtheist 32 Replies latest jw friends
those we knew in the 'truth' were not our friends anyway - they were willing to pin the 'Satan' tag on my lapel the day I left the organization,
They were "conditional friends". It's weird when you first leave the bOrg and find out that regular friends don't care what you believe, who (or even if) you worship, what sort of movies you watch. They like you anyway.
Of course it's only fair to say that all friends are conditional, but JW's have ALOT more conditions.
Dave
It's an interesting point, one of the consequences of becoming a dub for many years and then leaving is that one will have to restart a social circle, a social life, and the same goes for those that were born in the org.
I do have old friends, luckily. I didn't entirely shun worldly people when a JW, so I have a handful of friends I've known since elementary school. And, I've been out of dubdom for fifteen years. I've made friends during that time who've been around long enough to have some perspective on who I am. I love them all!
"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold."
wow. dave, this is a really great, deep thought. especially is this true of those of us who were raised as witnesses. who are we, really?This is huge, too. When we were in the bOrg, we were required to crush ourselves into the "New Personality", so even WE didn't know who we really were.
I'm pretty fortunate to have a couple of old friends who are ex-jw's. As old friends they would pretty much have to be since I grew up in the 'noids. I don't really miss any of my old ex-friends because I've found worldlings to be so much more relaxed. I can finally be me around people.
Shel
Do you still have any old friends? If not, how do you work through the issues of life?
No old friends. I work through the issues of life playing my guitar, and drinking beer.
I don't have many close friends, but I do have a worldly friend from my freshman year of high school who stuck by me through all my religious idiosyncrasies, and got me to buy a home next door to hers in 2001. So we've been friends for 22 years, and next door neighbors for 5. Of course, I have no witness friends who have stuck by me.
I also have a relatively new friend of two years, and I am very close to her. People say we "sound" like each other. I don't like that, but it's probably true! My next door neighbor friend refers to her as "Gwyn's NEW best friend," in a rather snotty way. Oh well. You can't please all of the people all of the time!
Yes...my best friend and I have been so since we were 12. Even with her other friends, she comes and tells me no one really gets her the way I do. Same is true for me--at least with other females.
this is a subject that plagued me when I was thinking of leaving everything behind.
I was heartbroken to realize that all my friends weren't going to be my friends after I left.
I am making new friends but there is something you can't replace with people who have known you a long time. I was fortunate enough to find some old friends that also left the borg. It's so great to have them in my life still.
The shunning your friends do to you is devastating IMO. I always had good friends that I was closer to than my family ( my family were psychos)....so losing them is so hard for me.
I'm still struggling with this one......
I just went to my 25th year high school reunion and hooked up with the best friend I ever had before I became a JDUMB! I am hoping we can stay in contact. She was like a sister to me before the stooooopid cult religion took over my life.
