Do you have any "old friends"?

by AlmostAtheist 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  Bumble Bee

  I never really had many "long time" friends. My parents moved so much it was hard to really have friends for very long. One year I went to three different schools!

  I'm actually seeing an old friend tonite. I haven't seen her in several years, and unfortunately she's moving out west, so I won't be seeing her much anymore, but I hope we can keep in touch better. We've both been through alot the last few years, are in better times now, so I think we can focus on a relationship again. We were very close growing up - we refer to each other as "cousins" but we're not really (it's a long story! lol).

  I have some very good friends "in the world", one woman I consider my best friend. We are making new memories together (vacations, bbqs, birthdays, New Years etc for the last 6 years).

  It was really hard for me to make new friends when I left the Org. First, because of moving so much I learned to not get too close to others because it made it that much harder to leave a house/shcool/cong, and like another poster said - I don't think I ever found out who I really was/am. I'm working that out now.

  I'm envious of people that still are friends with people they went to grade school with, or college etc., but I can't dwell on that. I focus instead on the friendships I have now.

  BB
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  RR

  I still keep in touch with my High School friends thanks to Classmates.com. But they live all over.

  I'm still close with my buddy Chris, whom I've known since the 7th grade. We kept in touch, after High School, he went into the Navy, I went into the Corps. Once a year phone calls. He went to my wedding, I went to his. And about ten years ago, he moved the next town over from me. 15, 20 minutes!

  RR
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  Pubsinger

  Not thought about this for quite a while.

  In the early days after we left I remember saying to my wife that we had no "history" with anyone.

  We've built up a bit in 7 years.

  I do have one "old" friend. My only JW friend. He's very precious although he probably doesn't realise he is.
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  twinkletoes

  I too lost touch with friends that I had grown up with when I joined the JWs -"...bad associations spoil useful habits", but after seeing the Org for what it really is (after 32 years in) I was lucky (lucky - did I say Lucky!) to get back in touch with some friends, one in particular, I hadn't seen her for over 30 years, we had grown up together and went to the same school, lived in the same street. Now we are back in touch - I even went to her 60th birthday party. She is totally shocked at the way i am shunned by so called friends, and said she would never shun me it's completey unchristian, I got in touch with her again through "Friends Re-united"

  Twink
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  ZazuWitts

  I'm so very fortunate in this regard! I still have friends from when I was in elementary school. Even as an active JW - we remained friends. And, it is even more amazing that we have kept in fairly close contact for more then 50 years. I have always known what was happening in their lives, and they in mine. Hardly a week goes by but what I speak by phone with one or more of them. In fact one of my best girlfriends from when I was in 3rd grade, has offered me the use of her 'vacation' home in Florida for my use this winter. I offered her a 'rental' arrangement, but she refused it, saying that she considers it 'payback' for the times I helped her when we were both young mothers, living practically next door to each other. Really, really good friends, and nary a one was ever a JW.
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  serendipity

  Hi Dave,

  We moved around a lot when I was a kid, so I don't have old friends. Fortunately, I do have cousins (JWs) and we have the shared memories that add richness to our relationships.
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  Sailor Ripley

  I found a lot of old friends. I put their numbers in my cell. I call them when I'm in traffic, which is often... thanks TXDOT! You call just to see how they're doing then you can hang up when you want as you are in traffic and need to go.

  It's a great way to keep in touch.

  Add them to your Christmas list as well. I love sending Christmas/Birthday/[insert holiday here] cards!
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  buffalosrfree

  I still have several of my friends from m high school days, we keep in touch and when in proximity to each other we make it a point to get together and go over ole times and have supper, lunch whatever with each other. It sure rolls back time to do so.
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  sass_my_frass

  I was lucky: I've got three JW friends who are DF'd or fading. I've made an effort to re-acquaint myself with some school buddies, but as a witness kid I was always very stand-off-ish with them anyway, so we were never that close in the first place. They're glad to hear I've made my way out of JWs, but we don't have much to talk about after that great big gap after school.

  I've had the same job for fourteen years (?!) more or less - same govt department, working in three states. In the state I grew up, as a witness I was polite to workmates but never socialised. I moved to the second state to leave WBTS but didn't really work out the friendship thing in time to develop any very close friendships (except for Mr Frass). I have a few friends from there, I'm sure I could count on them in a crisis, but I don't go out of my way to stay in touch. I should have; we're moving back there in a couple of months!

  In my current state, my workmates watched and listened as I went through the disfellowshipping and know all about the family crises since. I love them a lot, we've been good mates for five years now and I think they're keepers.

  I am always aware of the need for me to make special efforts for the friends I want to keep. I never got the hang of that as a witness, I just had to go to the meetings to socialise. It took way too long to work out that friends are people who get you, who you like, who like you, and you grow together. I'm getting there.

  I'm also very grateful to everybody here for the friendship that you all offer; including you "Fry" - you commented on my first thread here and I always like your posts!
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  AlmostAtheist

  I never got the hang of that as a witness, I just had to go to the meetings to socialise. It took way too long to work out that friends are people who get you, who you like, who like you, and you grow together. I'm getting there.

  Yet another hole the cookie-cutter world of JW's punched in us -- we lost the ability to make friends. Among JW's, everybody is your friend, and thus nobody is. It dilutes the word to where it doesn't mean anything anymore. They refer to the whole group as "the friends".

  A friend is more than someone you know, and surely more than someone that happens to worship the same god you do. Finding them and then treating them right is a skill we needed to aquire after exiting.

  Good point, Sass!

  Dave