by nonamegiven 47 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
LadyLiberty,
can you (or anyone else) please give me some examples for # 5???
BTW, thanks for your support all, I appreciate it.
Dear Nonamegiven,
Sorry I didn't get back to you right away, I haven't been on JWD for a couple of days. Here is a topic I posted a while ago, here is the link to the page: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/111407/1.ashx
It is a perfect example of what I was talking about. I will post more later, if you would like.
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
Now that I'm df'ed I feel the strong urge to call everyone I know that was df'ed and apologize to them for turning my back on them when they needed me. Now that I'm in thier shoes I know what it's like to not be able to turn to my friends in my time of need. Now, the only ones I can talk to are the very few...well one actually..... friend that I cultivated friendshop with that is not a JW.
I am honestly gutted for you; its always been clear to me that JWs turn their back on their friends in times of great need and that their 'love' and 'friendship' is conditional upon you believing what they believe and towing the company/society line.
I know times feel hard right now but you are well out of it and its time to develop some real friends who honestly and lovingly care about you.
Dont let the society exercise control over you any further and strike out on your own...things will get better.
Peace
Gary
Being on the fence can be uncomfortable.
Thanks a ton all! I really appreciate the help, support and love I have recieved. I was on the CARM board for a short while and got much the same show of love but a little (well alot more) bickering/attacking going on. Anyway, here's is where I am.
I am doubting MANY of the teachings but will not make a decision untill I have proven things to myself (after-all, isn't that what got me into this mess in the first place?). No matter what though I do plan on getting re-instated so as to not have that stigma hanging over my head and to have open lines of communication.
If I choose to drift away, my wife will be upset but will get over it. She already knows it's a possibility. She is a great woman but is far too close-minded and brain-washed for her to look into the things I have learned. To her, having a DF'd husband is almost as bad as having a dead one.
At this point, I see just how loving the organization is.
Welcome, NoName - did you by any chance get that handle from an old Clint Eastwood western?
Anyway, I understand your issue.
We every so often do a little informal poll as to what seems to be the most common thing to drive somebody away from the WT org. Far and away, the usual winner by many votes is -
"Failure to show true Love or even common human courtesy within the congregation."
That is a pretty powerful indictment - way more telling than any particular doctrinal whimsy in a "christian" church organization. In the case of the witness world, even if individuals did want to express love and care, they are specifically ordered not to by the central organization. It is pretty much a case of "conform to us or die".
I was just curious; was there any other particular doctrine that is bothering you the most? Blood transfusion, maybe, or failed prophecy? In my case it was 1975, failure to apologize for that, the sillyness of the 144,000 still being alive as a remnant, and the mistranslations in the NWT. This is a good place to get the raw information to sort things out - both sides, too.
Let us know how things with you are coming along - I am sure there are already a lot of people who will be wondering.
James
I'll tell you what doctrines have me wondering.
1) The end of this system of things. How long have we/they been preaching this? How many times can I hear from the platform that it is "just around the corner?" Which freakingn corner are we talking about!! I'm only 34 but since I was raised in the truth I have heard it soo many times that it's wearing old.
2) 144,000. When I was young I was told the 144,000 were alive in 1914 and old enough to " notice the changes taking place" and the end of this system will end BEFORE they all die. Uh....too late.
3) Rules or guidlines changing. When I was in high-school I was admonished not to go to college because time was too short and my time could be better served inJah's service. Well, now I'm 34 and struggling to support a family on a high school education while I hear from the platform that higher education is ok. What the heck?!?! What changed???
Well, there's that and my whole judicial comittee.
I was DF'd for immorality. See, I have a sexual addiction that I've been living with for 25 years or so. It started off very small and minor but like all addictions grew over time to take control of my life. Anyway, I came clean to my wife about what had been happening and while it hurt her, she loves me enough to stay with me and help me work it out. I knew that when I told her about it I'd have to tell the elders (why? but that's another topic altogether). I knew that I'd be DF'd from the get-go. With few exceptions, if you have sex outside of marriage you will get DF'd (more on that later). Anyway, I knew I'd be DF'd and was fine with that. But I printed up a 1 page document detailing sexual addictions so the elders would understand what they/I were dealing with. I didn't expect it to get any simpathy and that's not why I did it. I gave it to them so they would understand that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and that's the underlying reason. Note: I do not now, nor have I ever used this as a crutch. I did what I did and take full responsibility. Anyway, do you think the elders even read it? No. They were there to punish me and that's what they did. Now, how am I supposed to turn to these men for help when they don't even understand my situation, my triggers, my illness? Jesus said a good and loving shepard would leave 99 sheep to search for the 1 lost sheep and bring him back in his bussom. In my case, the 1 sheep was looking to correct his (my) course and they kicked me out of the 100 sheep flock and are now throwing stones to keep me away. I thought they were supposed to reach out with a shepards staph, not with a warriors sword.
Now, I mentioned that if you have intercourse outside of marriage you get DF'd. Funny, that's not always the case. When I was growing up I learned that you are DF'd if you are not repentant or if what you did is common knowledge. Well, I know of a woman that had an ongoing relationship and got pregnant. Well, since it was ongoig you can argue that she wasn't repentant but since she was pregnant and just a teenager it was of course common knowledge. She was provately reproved. 'splain that one to me??
OK, done venting...........for now.
Noname - IMHO, you have indeed had some shabby treatment. You posted (bravely so, I might add) - this very personal statement:
I was DF'd for immorality. See, I have a sexual addiction that I've been living with for 25 years or so. It started off very small and minor but like all addictions grew over time to take control of my life. Anyway, I came clean to my wife about what had been happening and while it hurt her, she loves me enough to stay with me and help me work it out. I knew that when I told her about it I'd have to tell the elders (why? but that's another topic altogether). I knew that I'd be DF'd from the get-go. With few exceptions, if you have sex outside of marriage you will get DF'd (more on that later). Anyway, I knew I'd be DF'd and was fine with that. But I printed up a 1 page document detailing sexual addictions so the elders would understand what they/I were dealing with. I didn't expect it to get any simpathy and that's not why I did it. I gave it to them so they would understand that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and that's the underlying reason. Note: I do not now, nor have I ever used this as a crutch. I did what I did and take full responsibility. Anyway, do you think the elders even read it? No. They were there to punish me and that's what they did. Now, how am I supposed to turn to these men for help when they don't even understand my situation, my triggers, my illness? Jesus said a good and loving shepard would leave 99 sheep to search for the 1 lost sheep and bring him back in his bussom. In my case, the 1 sheep was looking to correct his (my) course and they kicked me out of the 100 sheep flock and are now throwing stones to keep me away. I thought they were supposed to reach out with a shepards staph, not with a warriors sword.
Here, you have given one of the most compelling cases for mercy (and honest statements of repentance) that I have ever heard. I was an elder on JCs for many years back in the 1960s to about 1980 and have seen many who were not even publicly reproved (let alone a DF case) who gave not 1/10th of the thoughtful repentance you just did here. Many of them went back, did it again, and still got away with it a second time.
Maybe this whole mess has been a blessing in disguise. Your list of other issues shows me that you have pretty much got an idea on the broken system of belief that is propping all this up.
If I had one thing to say on this one, it would be - don't give in to the guilt...you are not trying to "justify yourself" by opening your eyes to what is wrong with WT doctrine. You will probably get charged with this if the elders ever find out you doubt the "teaching"...but it is not so. You are trying to see the real truth of things with honest eyes, and get your family on with their lives.
Good luck again, James
To your post, there is one thing I will tell you. You need to decide for yourself what you believe. You have to read the Bible for what it says, and not what other people are telling you it means. I have made research on other religion, and I am studying JW's beliefs, and so many of their beliefs contradicts what the Word of God says.
As far as you having no one to turn to, you can always turn to God. He will help you through this, and bring light to your situation. Just read the Bible, and ask God to help you understand what is written.
Chanie
