JW husband very sad (page 2)

skyking

One of my best friends just went through this and it finally came to the point of a divorce. He said it was the best thing that he could of ever did. His kids now while they are at his house sees the other side of the coin. Sad thing your kids have to go to the meeting and all the BS with it.

I would leave but that is just me.

My wife said she wanted a Divorce years ago and gave me the altimadum either go back to meetings or give her the big D. I told her to get it done faster. Guess what she blinked and agreed to read all my research against the JW's and now she is out and very much more than I. She hates the BORG and is nasty to the BORG members.

Rebirth

Pope, I'm not going to leave my husband because he is bringing the girls in the ministry. I don't want to leave my husband, I love him very, very much.

I actauly talked to my therapist about how I feel about the ministry and he was concerned too about the girls facing very scary, possible volital situations at the doors. I don't want them tramatized. I remember feeling terrified at a young age in the ministry. I don't want them facing this. I'm going to have to talk to my therapist about what to do know that he has said he won't stop.

Rebirth

troubled mind, Oh my, it sounds like what happened right before my husband started going back to the meetings. He had faded with me and started up full throttle when I started dabbling in celebrating Christmas last yr. It was as if he couldn't deal with the guilt anymore and seeing me do something so "wrong" pushed him back in.

I will keep my fingers crossed that things work out for you? Are there children in the picture? It simplifies things a lot if there isn't.

Good luck!

Rebirth

My mils worst nightmare:

Wow, that is some strong emotion in that post. I don't see my husband as being manipulative. He truly is a kind, caring, loving husband. I actually rule the house and he is okay with that. LOL! I just want to make sure this work, I truly do. I want there to be room in this marriage for all ways of living. I want respect.

Thanks for your suggestions.

Rebirth

delilah, that was a very sweet-hearted post. I appreciate the encouragement. My therapist says that when my husband is backed into the corner, another person emerges: the mouthpiece of the JW religion. He really does become someone else when he feels religiously threatened. He says very mean things and I've learned to accept that it is not him saying those things but the brainwashed man who is speaking from rote.

Thanks again!

Rebirth

skyking,

When I read stories like yours, my heart aches. Maybe because I fear that this religion will ultimately destroy my marriage and will make my girls children of divorce. I will try everything I can to prevent it. But I know there is only so far I can go.

Thanks

carla

I've seen this before with jw men and former jw wives. I would bet the next step for him will be total indifference to you. Sorry to say so but that's seems to be a pattern I have noticed. Your kids are not too young to start learning the falseness of the wt. If you think for one minute he will respect your wishes about the wt you are sadly mistaken. He will try to prosyltize them every chance he can. How to stop it? Never leave him alone with them (very difficult but doable) and/or teach them about the human wreckage this society leaves in its wake. Sorry if that sounds harsh, only from personal experience can I say that. Be ready for a roller coaster of emotions and behaviors from him. But you will be rock steady and the kids will see you as the normal one.

exwitless

Could you encourage your husband to see a doctor about his depression? It's possible that clinical depression is the primary problem, but he is attributing his feelings completely to your differences in beliefs. True, an antidepressant won't make his problems go away, but it might help him to be able to cope better and have a more optimistic outlook.

My MILs worst nightmare, a nonJW

Rebirth

I'm sorry to infer that he's manipulative. I should have said his actions are manipulative.

Manipulative (Websters definition)

1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose : DOCTOR

He is almost sarcastic about my new way of living. He says I'm selfish

He has been really withdrawn lately, eating less, not interested in sex

he said that he is depressed and mourning the loss of his wife (me) to this world. He is saddened at the thought of not having me to live forever with (as he put it).

He says, "Tough."

My husband has refused to see a doctor regarding the depression.

And how do you know when manipulation is successful? When it makes the other person question themselves.

What can I do? I just want him to accept me and my new life. I want to live a happy life together with our girls and a mutual respect for each others ways. Am I being selfish, should I resign myself to living in a stress filled relationship?

carla

One way to get him to stop bringing the girls in fs is to say, 'ok if you bring them into fs I will start teaching them about ALL the religions of the world, each week we will visit a new and different church including New Age, Catholic, Muslim, Hindu, Protestant, etc...etc... He could harldy complain as he has already lied to you, remind him of that and what that did to the trust in your marriage. The wt condones lying, see Reexamine.org for the quote. Ask him just who is 'worthy' of the truth? (not jw truth, truth thruth as in not lying)

Bringing children to different churches will open their minds greatly to the many different beliefs and cultures. Not to say you have to believe any of them. The above is the only way I could keep my kids out of kh. He knew I was not joking. I would of too, and luckily for me there was a big to do about a new Hindu Temple that was recently built not far from us.Would have been my first field trip with the kids in our 'experience the worlds religions' trips. You may have to choose to protect your childrens welfare over the manipulations of your husband.

JW husband very sad

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