Sisters, did you notice a trend of husbands not taking the lead?

by truthseeker 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  This is a spin-off question from my last topic on family studies, but I once read on this forum that several sisters in a hall who are still active, complained that their husbands weren't taking the lead spiritually. They were neglecting meetings, studies and field service.

  If you're still going to meetings, do you hear anything like this being brought up?

  Husbands, how did you deal with your wife accusing you of not taking the lead?

  I'm trying to guage how much time at home is actually spent on WT beliefs.
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  zev

  guilty as charged. i slowly relinqueshed my "responsibilities" and gave up taking any lead at all. i still remember some guy calling me to do security work at a c.a. i refused. he was shocked. i said.....maybe i wasn't clear..... NO! goodbye! that was just the begining! :-)
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  truthseeker

  That's interesting Zev.

  I think this is an important question because if the husband is doing nothing at home, regarding personal/family study, then this ultimately effects what the WT can achieve as an organization.

  If elders and MS's are only active in the hall and not at home, then there is the potential for problems.
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  95stormfront

  Yeah...my wife tried that guilt-trip crap on me in an attempt to get me to conform after I'd had enough of their over-controlling crap. She finally had to realize that she wouldn't really want me there based upon my attitude about it eventually.
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  lovelylil

  I am not in anymore but in our 12 years in my hubby never took the lead at home or with the kids. I studied with them, (he counted the time), I took them out in service 2x per week when they were young, I helped my daughter write talks (she joined the school at 10), etc. My hubby studied his WT and for the bookstudy but never gave a hoot if me or the kids studied anything. He went out in service mostly by himself on Saturdays. I went during the week and on Sundays and trained both of my kids in service. They mostly read bible verses, I did not allow them to peddle WT's. I was a pioneer so I made a schedule that worked for me.

  We were in a hall with almost no brothers "reaching out" and so as a MS my hubby was very busy with talks, mics, and he did the sound too. So I always sat alone with the kids and would help them "comment" too. In a way it was a blessing that only I was involved with their spiritual training because I "tweaked" the WT teachings into teachings I found to be acceptable. And as soon as I left the Org. my kids left too. There was no way my hubby could convince the kids to go to meetings with him as they did not look to him as thier spiritual head at all. They viewed me as their spiritual head - still do. Lilly

  BTW: in one hall I was in it was the norm for the women to be the spiritual heads and the elders knew it.
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  return visitor

  I was an elder for a couple of years. I can tell you from experience very few of the elders take the lead in there own family. Only those who pioneer with their wife and have no children in my experience. Ray France in Crisis of Concience makes the same claim for the governing body. The organization keeps them too busy to study.

  RV
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  Finally-Free

  I didn't "take the lead" but let's get serious. JWism is not rocket science. You don't have to review the correct procedure for flushing a toilet with your family every week, and JWism isn't too far off from that. After "studying" the same old shit several thousand times I didn't think it necessary to keep doing it. If something changed, fine. I'd read it. But I didn't "study" anything for the last 15 years I was a JW, and that didn't prevent me from getting perfect "written reviews" almost every time.

  W
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  truthseeker

  It seems the sisters are more willing to take the lead than their husbands!

  I think that brothers couldn't give a rats as* about doing the daystext, theo. school, service meeting, WT, field service demos and family study.

  I mean, after working all day, who wants to do all of that?

  The WT likes to keep its brothers busy, busy, busy, with no time for real family "study" - that is having time to spend with wife and kids.
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  truthseeker

  Good point Finally free - it is the same mantra every day.

  There's nothing new under the WT sun, and therefore I think the time is better spent enjoying what God has already made or pursuing other interests.

  Last year, WT made a point that some couples packed up their hobbies in a box and put it away so they could devote more time to pursue Kingdom interests.

  I'm sure a few hard core dubs do that, but I don't think they speak for the majority.
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  truthseeker

  If you did have a family study, how much time did you devote to it?

  I know one strict JW elder who would spend an hour studying the WT with his family, and boy, he made sure he got his 60 minutes in even if there were 15 paragraphs.