need help

by jem12 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    so sorry to hear about this. You must be heartbroken. People cheat for different reasons. I tend to feel that they are really not happy on the inside when they cheat, or they feel something in thier life is missing. Has she given you a reason for her behavior?

    Also did you think that this may be her way out of the organization? The reason I say this is we had a guy in one kh I was in who did not believe the org. had the truth anymore. He wanted out in the worse way but new his wife would not go along with it. He did not want to go out as an apostate so instead had an affair to get kicked out as an adulterer. This let him off the hook for having to do anything with "the truth" and he was able in a way to save face. He also thought if he changed his mind later, he could get back in easier for being disfellowshipped on the adultery grounds then on the apostacy grounds.

    I know this sounds strange but sometimes people are desperate to get out of the org. and I have seen many crazy things done to do it. Like the saying goes "desperate times calls for desperate measures" Just a theory. Lilly

  • nsrn
    nsrn

    Jem12, I'm so sorry you're going through this now. Betrayal is horrible. I second the suggestion above to get your finances separate ASAP. Also, consider STD testing at the public health/board of health/free clinic in your area. It is anonymous.

    If you are still a faithful witness, go to the elders. If things don't go well with your marriage, you'll still be in good standing and have the support of the friends there.

    I'm curious how you chose this site for advice....But you are welcome here!

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    1) get a lawyer - 2) tell the elders - 3) resign yourself to starting a new life

  • BizzyBee
    BizzyBee

    jem:

    After me finding these things out she kicked me out of our house.... please help me find an answer.. because deep down I still love her..
    After you found out these things, she kicked you out of the house? GROW A BACKBONE, MAN!

    I concur. This has nothing to do with God or JW's and you know it. Think about it: Her sister spilled the beans and then your wife left photos where you were able to find them, then she kicks you out.

    Did it ever occur to you that your wife is still carrying on the affair and wanted a clear field to do so? You've been cheated on and now dumped. Pull up yer socks. How can you love someone who behaves so abominably toward you?

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever
    skyking's wife is now talking. From the woman's perspective she might want you to fight for her. But one thing is clear she has made an emotional divorce from you. If you want her fight for her, she might not have made up her mind too leave you yet. If she has not she will stay with you, you will not know until you fight for her. You have nothing to loose.

    are you serious? if skyking had a mistress and kicked you out of the house after finding out would you fight for him? jem, hellrider is right......grow a backbone and stand up for yourself. if you can't stand up for yourself then get a lawyer who will do it for you.

  • Kaput
    Kaput
    1) get a lawyer - 2) tell the elders - 3) resign yourself to starting a new life

    Ditto. The nude photos put the last nail in the coffin.

  • Thegoodgirl
    Thegoodgirl

    So sorry to hear about this. I don't know what to tell you except that I hope you are able to step away from this situation and have some peace. I hope you stick around here, these people can be quick with their opinions, but for the most part are very supportive when one is in a crisis...

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