Reflections—looking through the mirror of time

by The wanderer 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The wanderer

  Reflections— looking through the mirror of time

  Looking back in retrospect to the person that I once was, there
  were a number of things regarding my past Witness life that
  were disagreeable to me.
  
  For instance, the fact that I allowed a corporation to do
  nearly all the decision making in my personal life was
  something totally disagreeable to me.

  Reflections in the present mirror

  Although, at one time I was angry, depressed, bitter and
  disillusioned after discovering the Watchtower hoax; today,
  I am a better adjusted individual in part because of the
  individuals on this site.

  Now when I look in the mirror, I am a much happier in-
  dividual in particular because all of the things I have
  learned both in life and the college education I finally
  pursued.

  What do you see when you look into the mirror?

  • When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
    bitter person?

  • Have you made any progress since discovering
    the Watchtower hoax?

  • What improvements have you made since leaving the
    organization behind?

  ---

  Please post your replies for a lively
  discussion of the topic at hand.

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
• 

  anewme

  What I thought was weakness I now feel was strength and a will to survive as I look back on my leaving the JW religion.
  
  The change was abrupt, drastic and dreadful. I lost all my family and friends and had to start over at nearly 50.
  
  The good news is today I look at myself as a survivor of mistreatment. I accept the fact I naively believed some people and paid the price of 35 years under their control. But I am free now and proud of myself for getting out before I was too old to do so. I have a new life and a new love and a new determination to stay free and happy always.
  
  
  Anewme
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
  bitter person?

  No, I'm not bitter or really angry anymore. I think holding on to those feelings is destructive for the one having them. I am still very much actively opposed to the watchtower, and would take the opportunity, if it presented itself, to help people to escape it's clutches, but I would be doing it with their best interests at heart, not to take revenge on my former religion.

  Have you made any progress since discovering
  the Watchtower hoax?

  I have been out just over a year now, and am well on the way to leaving all the false teachings behind me. I know far more about the wts now than I ever did when I was a jw, and that knowledge has helped me to overcome the feelings of guilt and insecurity I experienced when I first disassociated.

  What improvements have you made since leaving the
  organization behind?

  I am much happier now than I ever was as a jw. After being single all my life, and expecting to remain so until after armageddon, I have found love since leaving the jws, and am now living with my boyfriend, himself an ex jw. We are planning to marry next year, in June. I have also had a promotion at work since leaving, but still hope to fulfil my original ambition, pre jw, to become a teacher.
• 

  jaguarbass

  • When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
    bitter person?

  • Have you made any progress since discovering
    the Watchtower hoax?

  • What improvements have you made since leaving the
    organization behind?

  The first ten years after I left, I was deffinitely angry and bitter. 23 years latter, I have made enough good decisions that most days my jw past doesnt botther me. If I go down the wrong road in my thinking, I can still get very bitter and angry.

  Have I made any progress since discovering the Wt hoax? Progress towards what? Im still going to live my life and die. I pretty much live my life by my rules. Things havent changed much, my wife celebrates the hollidays and I go along. We both have more time to ourselves without the meetings and service and social life.

  I'm still like the masses Thoreau spoke about living my life in quiet desperation, work, sleep, eat repeat. Too much work and not enough play. I deffinitely know of one system of beliefs and reasoning that cannot be described as the truth.
• 

  itsallgoodnow

  I'm like you, wanderer. not so bitter. The bitterness didn't hit me right away. I was so happy to find out the teachings were all false. that's why I picked the "itsallgoodnow" name. Then I got fairly angry. But I don't like being angry and I have finally come around to acceptance.

  I hated it that my problems were the sort that most people can't identify with. But I'm glad most people don't have any idea what it's like, actually. I am way stronger than I ever imagined I could be, just having to go through this, more or less alone, except for the good people online here. I'm proud of the way I have handled it so far and I haven't let it keep me down. I have learned so much, about myself and about life in general. I just hope I can keep learning and growing.
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  When I look in the mirror I no longer see Satan as a "Roaring Lion" seeking to devour me. I know that's not what your picture indicated, but its what I thought of.

  W.Once
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Nice Topic.

  • When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
    bitter person?

  Nope - at least not all the time. Sometimes, when I hear of unbelievable, cruel actions, then I have anger. [Point in case; Brenda's thread about her Mom tonight. I am seething over that. But on a personal level, no, the bitterness is pretty well gone now.

  • Have you made any progress since discovering
    the Watchtower hoax?

  Yes - I have become more settled in the matter of living life, instead of waiting for the 'real life' in the paradise fantasy.

  • What improvements have you made since leaving the
    organization behind?

  Personally you mean? As in personal development? Well, I read anything that appeals to me. I have wonderful conversations about spirits, Jesus, life after death, politics, war, religion. I watch movies that appeal to me, not based on an approval rating by the WTS. I buy my cars based on my needs, not for service. And, I haven't worn a suit in 3 years.

  Jeff
• 

  OUTLAW

  I`m still p*ssed off..They did a lot of damage to my life and family..I`m better,but I`m still p*ssed off.I`ve taken coarses,managed business`s,started business`s,lived in the wilderness,gotten pets..One poster said we are like a group of people who survived a plane crash together..I think thats why many of us are here...OUTLAW
• 

  The wanderer

  Dear friends:
  
  It makes me feel good on a personal level to
  know that there are some success stories
  concerning individuals on this board.
  
  It should also strengthen the hope in others
  who have gone through similar circumstances.
  
  Very Respectfully,
  
  The Wanderer
• 

  Abandoned

  • When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
    bitter person?

  • Have you made any progress since discovering
    the Watchtower hoax?

  • What improvements have you made since leaving the
    organization behind?

  Well, I've been out for about four years and I'm just starting to get angry. Up until this time, I've been ashamed at how much I let god and everyone else down. I've spent way too much time feeling guilty for not being able to live up to standards that those judging weren't even attempting to meet.

  I've definitely made progress. I'm able to talk about what I've went through and soon (hopefully a different soon than the wt version) I'm going to post something about this on my blog and let the world, including those who know me in person, my story.

  Improvements? I'm not sure. I'm just getting past the guilt and even though I know, intellectually that the guilt is a bunch of bullshit, I still haven't cleaned all of that crap out of my system. So, I still feel guilty about stupid things and I still have trouble seeing that my worth is something I have not something I can earn. That's a tough one for me. I have finally realized that having dreams and moving towards them don't make me an evil person. My dream is to be a writer and I'm making daily progress toward that end. Here's something I think is cool. I work at a coffee shop and yesterday I waited on a lady who had her blood card on display like we were always told to do (to protect us from the evil, worldly people ) and I wasn't mad at her. I just felt pity for her. So, I guess that's an improvement. On the one hand, I'm finally able to accept and deal with my anger at the organization, but I'm able to see individual witnesses as victims and feel pity for them. Yep, I've a long way to go, but I've made progress.