We must be on the same wave length. I wrote about this a couple of days ago.
Reflectionslooking through the mirror of time
by The wanderer 12 Replies latest jw friends
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mama bear
What do you see when you look into the mirror?
When you look in the mirror do you still see that angry
bitter person?
I was never angry. I chose to be a Witness. I can only hold myself responsible for allowing my mind to be clouded with pictures of flowers, forests and wild animals as my future reality. What I became angry [or perhaps strong sense of betrayal] about was after I left and found out about the whole UN thing, the REAL story about BLOOD, the Stock in REGI, reflecting on the many doors and the many lives I preached to over the years bravely touting the UN as the Wild Beast, NO BLOOD as God sanctioned, and being NEUTRAL where armaments of war were concerned. What a fool I felt like when I learned of their deceit. I was simply ticked at the deceit. Today, I am angered when I see a Witness who behaves in an unacceptable way and I know they are Witnesses knowing the whole time we were it was wrong to bring reproach upon the Org or "Jehovah" yet some guy can pull into a parking lot, walk into a business office and complain about someone's dog chasing his car while he was out 'in the territory' and expecting the office personnel to call the police! With a danged cell phone hanging off his hip! And pulls into the 'handicap' parking spot while he grinds and drones on to the office staff! Then this guy drives up and down the street while we are trying to have our board meeting 'waiting for the police to arrive' because someone's dog chased his danged car! Then after it is all over with, he slips out of his tie and talks like some trucker with a trashy mouth to one of our staff! Uh huh...and the office admin assistant is a member of his congregation, HELLO! It just insences me that proper decorum was always expected of us if we wanted to be used in the congregation, reaching out for privileges and stuff like this happens! Not angry for being a witness...just really ticked that we took it all way too seriously we think.
Have you made any progress since discovering
the Watchtower hoax?
Oh yes...my sense of humor has become acute! My husband always has cracked me up but every once in awhile something happens and his dry wit just causes the biggest belly laugh! It is always a picture of us all dressed up in our 'Witness Garb' doing our 'Witness best..you know the whole souled...thing?' that he manages to create the humor relief from. It is essential that we can laugh at ourselves for being so gullible!
What improvements have you made since leaving the
organization behind?
Interestingly, our spirituality is keener, our integrity is purer, our morality is finer, we have learned to accept people without judging them, A REALLY BIG THING...we have learned to embrace differences and relish the wonders of others. We do not go to church...well except on Christmas Eve...yeah..we became 'holiday Christians'. Only then because I love the pomp and tradition. Big fan of RED! In our family, the biggest changes..we have been able to reconnect with siblings, children, parents, nieces, nephews we were not able to associate with before because of their stand 'against' the Org. I guess, for us, the improvements have been in person to person areas. Being able to really connect with a total stranger without having an agenda and a desire to control the individual through preaching. Being able to really just sit back and listen to the thoughts of others and enjoy their uniqueness and individuality. Being able to exercise critical thinking and seeing positive results.
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LongHairGal
Rich,
Good post!
Everybody's anger is at a different level depending on how long they were there and how heavily invested they were, etc. I am still angry because I am not out yet. Mentally I have been out six years because that is how long I know the truth about them. Most of what I learned confirmed what I had already suspected.
I am most angry about wasted time and lost youth and opportunities. Although somebody told me to look at it as if I had been in a bad marriage. I guess I can also be grateful that I missed out on some bad things as well.
I guess what I am most angry about is how I want to tell them ALL off and most importantly I want to shout from the rooftops about what goes on there so that all the world knows.
That way if somebody actually WANTS to become a JW, they can at least make an informed choice.
LHG