My heart hurt today at all the wasted years in the ORG.

by purplesofa 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jaguarbass

  As part of my recovery I researched a lot of religions, mormon, and scientologist were 2 of them. Some consider both to be cults. Mormons are very secretive your doctor may or may not know about the top of the organization.Just as JW's dont know about the top of their organization. I think the end of the ride is that you can become or evolve to be just like Jesus was and you get your own planet, like earth full of confused people waiting to evolve or become like jesus who all in turn will get their own planet full of confused people waiting to evolve and become just like jesus on and on ...You might find that a little more interesting and challenging than living forever in paradise as a low level peon. It may be less expensive to be a mormon than a scientologist. To reach clear in scientology cost mucho dinero. I being male didnt research whether or not the mormons are equal opportunity employers. You being female might want to google that deeply. I know the males tend to have multiple wifes. I never heard of the wifes having multiple husbands. Maybe on your becoming to be as jesus you will morph into a male, if that pleases you.

  Then again maybe you are just researching as I was now that were not witnesses

  Good luck.
• 

  codeblue

  (((purps)))

  So sorry for your pain

  I have been going thru some of your thoughts since the angry/mean email I received 2 weeks ago from my adult child. IT still hurts like hell. I thought by telling him I no longer attended it would give him a bit to think about, as I raised him in the religion. Maybe after his righteous indignation wears off, he will think about why I left and do some research himself.

  To you I say this and I keep reminding myself as a mom:

  You did the best you could with what you knew in raising your kids.

  The only thing we can now change is the life we live each day.

  many hugs to you
• 

  JWdaughter

  Funny, I was a Mormon (LDS) for a few years and left with NO bitterness. It too is considered a cult, and I guess it is one according to some definitions of it, but I left it with no bitterness, with friends (to this day)great memories and no trauma. I have said before-if I was to join a church for the social and the religious 'fruits'(results), I would be LDS. I am not in favor of religion right now for me, because I would be a hypocrite, and I don't like that feeling. I know many people stay in various religions for various reasons, but that is such a truly nice one that if I wasn't a little too honest, I could stand the rules and the time spent, and even the tithe to be a part of it. I like them to much to be insincere about my 'testimony', as I think most religion is just one guys version of how to worship their creator, and that one guy gets people to go along with him. If someone sincerely believes it, I'm not just going there to enjoy the fellowship and refreshments-that disrespects the true believers. All religion, on further reflection can have cult qualities. The problem with the JW one is it is deadly, it is cruel and it is ugly. It takes over ones life for the purpose of promoting a publishing house. That is not worth it. And it doesn't even do any good to mitigate any of its flaws. I recognize that many churches have flawed leaders, teachings, history-but the denial, defensiveness and hatefulness to those who point it out is hideous. The abuse is ugly, and they do NOTHING positive in the world that sets them apart as something good. Selling mags and books doesn't qualify. Sorry, got me on a rant today.

  One correction, the 2x yearly conference is geared towards adults, they have youth conferences too that are a lot of fun. Their is also a womens conf. (they can go to the regular general conf too!) Probably a guys one, but I wasn't paying attention as a teenage girl.(to guys, yes, to their conferences-no)

  They do actually believe in "every member a missionary" but they don't count time or get bonus points or anything. What your dr. did-not hiding his faith, being available for questions,welcoming you to learn more-is what they do. If it works-fine, but they don't dump people who are not receptive(your job is safe!)

  I am now feeling very nostalgic. Conf is around Thanksgiving (and easter), I might sneak in the back:)
• 

  JWdaughter

  The bishop(the DR.) knows everything about the religion. They aren't keeping him in the dark. There is nothing that mysterious about any of it (what happens in the temple). It isn't perfect or pristine-but in the end, it isn't the ugly religion and bitter leaving that the WT is.
• 

  FreeChick

  I'm sorry you are having a rough day today. I had that exact realization a couple of months ago and it was quite devastating. I'm still angry about it, but trying very hard to get a support group around me so that I can starting doing some of the things that I missed out on.

  I hope you can find some peace soon.

  FreeChick
• 

  gordon d

  Hi Everyone,
  Purps took me up on my offer and called... we got to talk for over an hour... In case you don't know, She is a very charming lady with a huge heart. It's so sad what religions have done to her and her family!
  
  For those of you that pray... please pray for her.
  
  For those of you that think "happy thoughts"... please think happy thoughts for her.
  
  For those of you that do other stuff.... well..... you know.....
  
  Sweet dreams Purps!
• 

  choosing life

  I raised my 3 precious children to believe in "the truth". I spent 30 years there. Two of those children still believe it is the truth, and are upset that I have chosen to leave. I have spent many tears wishing that I could go back and change it all. I am sorry I missed all their birthdays and other holidays. I feel the holidays are for family togetherness and there is an empty hole where special traditions belong.

  But, I have one child who no longer believes he is going to die at Armegeddon along with his family. He is very grateful that I have shown him it is not the truth. He always believed he was a failure because he couldn't live up to their expectations. His nightmares are starting to subside and he is finally feeling some self worth. I find that to be a wonderful beginning in helping my children.

  I hope to help the other two in the future. It may take time, but I will do whatever it takes to get them out of this religion that I put into their hearts and minds. I need to somehow show them that our morality comes from within and not from pleasing men.

  Purps, take your time and slowly build up your family. Show them the loving person you are and things will work out in the end. I cry with you over the opportunities missed, but I pray that the years ahead will bring with them many more opportunities to create that special bond we call family.
• 

  purplesofa

  gordy......thanks

  I enjoyed talking to you very much

  I really appreciate your friendship and insight.

  Purps, take your time and slowly build up your family. Show them the loving person you are and things will work out in the end. I cry with you over the opportunities missed, but I pray that the years ahead will bring with them many more opportunities to create that special bond we call family.

  choosing life..........thanks!

  And everyone that understands and supports each other for the loss all of us have had in one way or another.

  much love,

  purps
• 

  moshe

  If I was to be in a "cult" I wish I had at least chose the Mormans, they seem alot more balanced and look at the world more realisitically.

  Mormons have to tithe 10% of gross income- and then give extra on top of that for local needs. A work associate from years ago told me about all the $$$ he had to give- he drove an old beatup car and lived in a rundown house. He made the same as me, but the LDS church sucked it up. When he was on unemployment he had to give 10% of that to the Church, too. Nothing was exempt from their 10% rule. And they aren't any happier than JW's, for sure.
• 

  kerj2leev

  (((((purps)))))

  Sorry to hear you are going through a down time right now. I have noticed many people having depressed feelings lately, me included.

  I know for me the change of season has much to do with the increase of my negative thoughts. I know this may sound simple but what helps me is to exercise, even just a couple of times a week really does help. Also just what you are doing by talking about it is great too.

  Just my 2 cents, just know we are thinking of you.

  Kerj