Shunned by an old friend

fullofdoubtnow

In all the years I was a jw, although I had many acquaintances, I only had 3 really close friends. Two of them are no longer jws. One is Trev, who is obviously a lot more than a friend to me now, and my friend Marion left the wts a few months ago, with a lot of encouragement from me.

My other friend is still very much a jw, and when I was announced as no longer a jw last year, she phoned me to tell me how very upset and disappointed she was. That was the last conversation we had, and I hadn't seen her since I left either - until today.

Trev and I were out shopping this afternoon, and we saw my friend in town. I was happy to see her at first, and gave her a warm smile, and a cheerful hello, but my happiness was short - lived, she totally blanked me, and looked at me as if she didn't even know me, and we were friends for over 20 years. It's not the first time I've been shunned, that's happened a few times, but this time it really hurt. It hurt because I was closer to her than to anyone else in the congregation. We did so much together as jws - travelled to assemblies, worked together in fs, went on days out together. She has an unbelieving husband, and I supported her when he was awkward with her about not celebrating holidays etc. I gave her lifts, and was always there for her whe she needed someone to talk to. We laughed together, and we cried together.

I always hated the shunning rule, and she hated it as much as me me, and she was the one person who I thought, hoped, might not shun me, she knew why I had doubts, and knew why I left, I wrote to her after I put my da letter in. But today she obeyed the wts shunning rule, and though I knew what to expect when I left from jws in general, it was still hard to take from her, remembering how close we once were. If it had been her who'd left, and me who'd stayed, I just know I wouldn't have treated her like that, not having been so close for so long.

I guess it's a reminder, as if I need one, of what being a jw really does to people. I'm so happy to be away from all that, and not expected to treat people I've known over half my life in such a cold, horrible way, just because they think differrently to me now

Sorry about the length of this, I just needed to vent.

Linda

crazyblondeb

I'm truly sorry that had to happen to you!! Even though we know the control the borg exerts, it doesn't make it less painful!!

bighug

Latte

Aaww Linda

It is so hard sometimes when we bump into old friends. The shunning rule is disgusting…and so very hurtful. Christ would not behave like that!

Just remember that it’s only the JW belief system making her do that…over the years I simply blame the Governing body - the Witlesses at the top.

I’m sure it hurts them a little too…they pay a price too.

BIG hugs to you….{{{{ Linda & Trev}}}}

FreeChick

Linda,

I'm so sorry! Even though we know our old friends are required to shun us, it is still very painful when it happens.

((HUG))

FreeChick

south african beef

Hi Linda - that must have really hurt you.

The shunning thing is mad - my mum, dad and brother haven't spoken to me for four years, but they think that if this shunning thing hurts me then I will see the error of my ways and come running back into Gods loving organisation.

Trouble is, the shunning made me really look into the org from a different, unbiased viewpoint and what I saw was a deceitful, lying organisation that I will never want a part of again. I feel sorry for those doing the shunning - if only they could see how mucht their eyes could be opened and how free they could be. . . . .

Kind regards

SAB
Ian

p.s. Shame Marie and I couldn't meet you at the Apostacurry but it was nice to have a good chat with Trev.

MsMcDucket

Linda that has to be the worst! I had a friend that was my friend before we became witnesses. I remember when we about 6 years old and she was wanting someone to get on the teeter totter with her. So, I walked up and asked her if she wanted to teeter totter. She said yes and we HAD been friends since that time. Some time later, I found out she was a Dub. I became a dub later. As you know, I'm out now. I seen her the other day, and I knew she knew my mother had died, but she didn't say anything. I went to her mother's memorial even though I was disassociated. What can I say?

I know how you feel!

fullofdoubtnow

Thanks everyone. I suppose I was a little naive to think that this lady would still be a friend, after all she is still brainwashed and looks at things from a jws perspective, but having been so close I thought she might talk to me, as we wer closer than fleshly sisters not so long ago.

Trev was supportive when it happened of course. He knew how hurt I was by her attitude, and comforted me as best he could. Thank goodness he was there, I don't know what I'd have done if I'd been alone. I'm trying to view it in a positive way right now, and think about the things I've gained from leaving, and look ahead to the things I have planned in the future. That helps, but it still hurts to have someone who was once a true and loyal friend treat me in such a way.

Damn the watchtower and their inhuman rules!!

Linda

BabaYaga

Strength and hugs to you, Dear. If nothing else, it lets you see how deep this deception runs.

I'm so sorry you have to endure it.

Love,
Baba.

Xnived Shadow

Im really sorry to hear that happend to you. Im glad though that when you saw her the bitterness you felt when you left the org, didnt come back and you were able to give her a warm greeting even if she didnt return it. I will aspire to have the same attitude!

OUTLAW

Fullofdoubtnow/Linda..Your on the other side of the fence now..You probably have`nt dealt with this before..I have..There is something you should consider..Besides the WBT$ rules about not associating with you,there is a fear..She is afraid of you..She is afraid of what will happen to her,if she is seen associating with you..She is afraid you are no longer the same person..She is afraid you will "Drag her out of the Truth"..The fear mechanism has always been there,it was instilled by the WBT$..You triggered it..She probably dosen`t even realise it herself..She is a WBT$ robot..I`ve seen this before..After I had time to think about it I felt sorry for them..They have no will or thoughts of thier own..They are already dead,they just haven`t been buried yet...OUTLAW

Shunned by an old friend

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