Shunned by an old friend (page 2)

compound complex

Dear Linda Fullofdoubtnow and Needingcomfort,

Subjective v. Objective; Heart v. Mind---ever the tug of war! "A [wo]man's insight slows down [her]/his anger." Outlaw is spot on re the fear factor. Look at Peter when he ceased associating with the Gentile converts. Maybe we need a "Paul" to set matters straight---publicly reproving the Governing Body! We've all been there, and I know you draw comfort from your friends here---and we don't even think alike anymore! Well, we used to pretend, didn't we? Who knows: someday at a big apostafest during testimony time (?), Best Friend may come forward and say, "Linda has always been my dearest friend, but I was afraid and denied her. True love shows no fear and I'm asking her forgiveness." It could happen!

Comfort and peace to you,

CoCo

jaguarbass

Sorry you have to find out who your friends are the hard way. Everybody has to make their own decisions and be accountable for their actions. If you get through life having one good friend your lucky. Everyone else are accquaintences.

juni

But today she obeyed the wts shunning rule, and though I knew what to expect when I left from jws in general, it was still hard to take from her, remembering how close we once were.

A big hug for you Linda. I'm glad Trev was there for you as it is very painful. I have had this same experience and it does hurt even though you know that's what you expected when leaving.

OUTLAW is right. It's fear on her part too. She was probably crying inside and wanting to "reach" out for you.

Shunning is emotional abuse. But like you said, you are in a good place now with so many good things to be thankful for. The love of Trev and your mum and your planned wedding next June.

Love,

Juni

dobbie

Linda so sorry you had to go through that, how upsetting for you.My best mate and i met at school when we were 12 and i became a jw 7 yrs later.I was shocked when she told me recently that she wouldn't speak to me if i d'ad, Because she did'nt tell me she was a jw for 6 yrsin case i didn't want to know her after finding out!I've always been there for her and thought we were friends for life. I'm sure they don't want to act that way but they've been 'programmed' by the wts t o do it automatically and out of fear they do it, but i bet they feel every bit as bad as the one on the receiving end(at least, i hope so anyway).So glad you've got your partner and mate to support you , hold your head up girl cos they're just totally screwed up and trapped, its so sad, you've got a lovely life ahead of you and they're stuck in kingdumb land !Hugs to you Debbiex

fullofdoubtnow

Thankyou all once again for your kind replies.

I feel a lot better now, Trev took meout to our local for an hour, and there was a couple there who have been friends of his for years, and are my friends now as well. It was good to be among normal people after my experience earlier.

I have been shunned before, and while I didn't like it, having such a once - close friend do it hurt more somehow. I know that it is fear that does it, and perhaps they can't really help themselves behaving in such a way.

If only they could see how callous it is to treat anyone in such a way....but I guess they won't.

codeblue

I am truly sorry for the pain you have just experienced.

You can't leave a cult............this just reinforces it.....

I am painfully reminded of it everytime I read the angry/mean email my adult child sent me almost 3 weeks ago....

Know that you are loved by people here that understand.

hugs,

Codeblue

KAYTEE

Linda,

It's got to be one of the most disgracfull acts of so called "christianity" that the witnesses perform, Some even getting some sought of a kick out of it, thingking they are pleasing God if they do this, would Christ have acted like this, DID he act like this, NO.

With the help of Trevor you will get past this.

KT

Abandoned

(((fullofdoubtnow)))

I remember being like your friend and I now understand what an ass I was. There's hope for her and what's more, is you probably have been on her mind ever since this incident. Maybe these will mix with any doubts she already has. Maybe she's on the way out too. Just thoughts... :-)

Gill

(((((((( Linda ))))))))

I sympathise with you a great deal! It must be very, very painful!

I used to find it so when I first started to fade and people started to ignore us!

Now, almost five years on I Love Being Shunned!

I wave and always shout a cheery 'Hello'. They look awkward and flustered and some have finally given in and started saying 'Hello', back!

To me, it's now a fun game. How long till I 'break' the next one, I don't know but they seem to be falling like dominoes!

I love the freedom it gives. One of the 'broken' ones stopped to speak to me in the week and I took the opportunity to tell her how disappointed I was with her that she hadn't allowed her daughter to go to Uni, as she had always wanted to! Look on her face for my 'brass balls', PRICELESS!

They're the ones still in a 'cage', wheras we are now free. Freedom is of no use unless you use it!

The wanderer

Linda: I am sorry you had to undergo that form of
emotional abuse. Sadly, the brainwashing propaganda
is such, that nothing can surpass it.

Not the love and affection from family or friends.

I have read, experienced, and talked to others about
such situations and can still hardly believe it my-
self.

Very Respectfully,

Richard

(The Wanderer)

Shunned by an old friend

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