I want to contact my adult children and let them know I do love them. They only 2 out of 4 called me and when they thought I would die from cancer wanted to get something. I do really love my kids ages 26 to 32 and am so depressed tonite. I want a relationship with them and don't know how to go about it. Some of you know me and why I left the family and what my ex-wife did. I don't think some of them are in the borg. I have no hate or feelings negative I just want to talk or write to them. I thought I was strong but I guess not I can't stand not having my family.
I really need some advice
by hambeak 23 Replies latest jw friends
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hambeak
I guess I need some anti depressents as I am really low maybe I am better off dead as one of them told me and the hurt and anger is over.
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MsMcDucket
Hambeak, don't give up. You are worth it. We love you! I know, there's nothing like the love of your children. If you can handle contacting them, do it. At least, you'll know where they stand. (((hugs)))
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bikerchic
((((Hammy))))
In situations like these I always try to imagine the reverse. Now do you think I would have loved to have gotten a letter from my Dad telling me how much he loves me and wanted me to know? You betcha!
I would just keep it that simple, I love you, miss you and will always be here when and if you wish to contact me, doors always open. Big fat period!
Please don't beat yourself up so much, life is too short to be miserable.
Edited to add this link:
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sammielee24
Sorry to hear of your distress Hambeak...I don't know your circumstances but if you want to contact your kids I think you should. Doesn't have to be a long winded letter to start with - nothing full of explanations or excuses but maybe just a contact letter to tell them you miss them and that you would like to hear from them. Perhaps letting them know that if they have questions, they can ask you - that sort of thing. Take care....sammieswife.
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jgnat
Hambeak, I am really concerned about you trying to contact your (ungrateful) children in your low estate. A single parent friend of mine used to call her old boyfriends, drunk, on Christmas Eve. You can imagine the result. The boyfriends would spit out more abuse and she'd be worse off than she started.
I'd never do such a thing. Maybe it's my scottish roots, but I have too much pride. My solution to loneliness would likely to fill my days with people who have proven to be true and loving. It takes time, but I have a much more predictable result.
Your need is screaming out for relief, but you can't count on your children satisfying it.
I suggest you pour out your heart IN WRITING, but don't mail the letters just yet. Simmer on them.
Children, the loving ones, will come around when they are ready. As long as you don't go chasing them.
You may indeed need medication to get over the emotional bruising you've just been through. My goodness, you've just had a huge CANCER scare.
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jgnat
P.S. I have another story for you about scottish pride. My grasping brother hated my beautiful stepmom without ever meeting her, for dividing his inheritance. My dad was beyond insulted but there wasn't much point in him, as my brother lives in another province and rarely visits.
Dad did not forget, though, when Myrna passed away last year. From the hospital, dad gave me a list of family and friends to call. And a specific request NOT to contact my brother.
He'd never been a son to her anyways.
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outoftheorg
Hambeak, if anyone says to you, that you would be better off dead.
You need to consider some thing. The word is "detach".
To (remove, disconnect, disengage, etc. (FOR A PURPOSE).
To maintain your self respect. If we pursue a relation with a person that would say that to us, we are asking to be mistreated and loathed.
You deserve better than that. As I see it the person that said that to you should be loathed.
(detest and abhor) such a revolting person.
Outoftheorg
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JWdaughter
The child who told you such an ugly thing knows where you are and can apologise. I don't think you should reach out to that one, especially now. When you are not in such a depressed mode (BTW, see your DOC, MONDAY!!!) then write that simple, I love you, miss you, door is open, letter and leave it at that. I wish you well and happy-don't let bad feelings overwhelm you.
Shelly