I really need some advice

by hambeak 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    Hambeak,

    My kids are just a little younger than yours and the shunning has been going on for several years now. I understand the pain you're going thru. I decided long ago, despite being treated as tho' I was dead...I would try and keep some kind of communication going. I discovered recently that my good 'christian' JW x-wife had intercepted almost every letter and card I sent to my kids -- and then used that as "proof" I didn't care about them.

    I cannot give details, but, every chance I got to just simply say...in spoken words or written..."I love you, I miss you and when you're ready...we can talk about anything." I always tried not to force them to listen, but, just left the invitation open.

    The slow easy approach has finally started to bear good fruit, during the last year things have improved greatly between us and she is trying her best to get the others to start talking to me again. One of them hasn't seen or spoken to me for 5 years. Lovely religion.

    Don't give up -- Never Surrender ! You may not know what's going on in their minds for a long time, but, I believe they will remember every effort you make. Show them a successful, happy person that does well -- without the WT in their life. That mystifies the hell out of JW's. And it's not easy to do when you have depression, too. One day they may realize that and show up on your doorstep -- like one of mine did. One so far !

    Rabbit

  • penny2
    penny2

    (((hambeak)))

    You've been through a lot hambeak - some days will be better than others. Write down what you want to say to your kids, unthankful though they may be. It just shows what a good person you really are!!! Read the letter again in a week and send it then if you still want to.

    Sometimes just writing things down helps.

    Love

    penny2

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    (((hambeak)))

    I hope the outpouring of love is soothing. I definitely agree on writing things down. It not only helps you heal just to get it out, but it's a lot easier to combat your disquieting thoughts when you can see them down on paper. They aren't as intimidating like that.

    I wish you the best. :-)

  • hambeak
    hambeak

    jgnat, rabbit, xu thanks I am taking your advice. I am writing some things down and am sure I will rewrite a lot of it I have a lot of anger because of the ex and the borg I know I will get over it but right now I feel like I have a huge boulder on me more later

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    I don't have anything to add, Hambeak... I just wanted to give you a typed hug.

    *hUg*

    Love
    Baba.

  • FreeChick
    FreeChick

    Hambeak,

    I'm so sorry you are in so much pain right now. I'm not familiar with the extent of your situation, but it must be very difficult for you as it seems there are several things going on at once. Please take care of yourself!

    FreeChick

  • bernadette
    bernadette

    love from me too ....... identify with you ......... I have children who will soon shun me. On a practical level am using lots of lemon and grapefruit essential oils. They are very uplifting and have an antidperessant effect. Alexander technique too puts me in a neutral calm happy renewed frame of mind.

    Am thinking of u and praying for you

    bernadette

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    ((((Hambeak))))

    I am so sorry you are feeling low right now, but just remember, you are loved on here.

    Why not just write them a letter telling them how much you love and miss them? It may well work, it might even be just what they are waiting for.

    love

    Linda

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    (((hambeak))),

    You have a PM. Thank you for reaching out to people who care very much what happens to you. Humanity can't really afford to waste any potential, and it would be such a shame if you chose to waste yours. It is a hard thing to state what is going on inside, sometimes. My advice is, don't be aloneā€”no matter how preferable that may seem.

    Respectfully,
    Brandon

  • Mary
    Mary
    I guess I need some anti depressents as I am really low maybe I am better off dead as one of them told me and the hurt and anger is over.

    WTF??!! Your kid told you you're 'better off dead'???!! Whoever told you that needs a swift kick in the ass! Hambeak, yes, you need some antidepressants to help you get through this. It also sounds like you need counselling. I don't know your whole story, but this religion can raise havoc with someone when they leave. Get to your doctor asap. If they're not available, go to Emergency, or phone a crisis hot line. Mouthy is also an excellent person to talk to when you're down. She's helped countless people when they leave the Borg and is one of the sweetest people I know. A true Christian in every sense of the word.
    bernadette said: On a practical level am using lots of lemon and grapefruit essential oils. They are very uplifting and have an antidperessant effect.
    I think I'm going to try that myself. Thanks bernadette. (((((((((hambeak))))))))) Keep us posted please......... Mary

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