Today's offensive little gem:
These are funny for when you are in a fiesty mood!A new way to handle those pesky little "conversation stoppers"
1) 'I'M NOT INTERESTED'
You might say:
"Well, many feel the same way, and they're called goats in the Bible. Let me share with you a scripture that talks about the fate of those goats. (Read Matt. 25:46) Do you want to get cut off? Do you WANT to take a dirt nap for eternity?!"
2) 'I HAVE MY OWN RELIGION'
You might say:
Well whoop dee doo! "Yeah, and I have MY own religion too. Its called the "TRUTH!" See I'm what you call a "Christian" (Make the double quotation gesture with your fingers.) You know what "Christians" do? They preach to people. Those that don't preach to people are on that "broad and spacious road." Here let me show you in Matt 7:13.
3) 'I'M TOO BUSY'
4) 'I'LL READ YOUR LITERATURE IF YOU'LL READ MINE'You might say:
"No you're not. You were probably watching TV or kicking back right? Don't lie to me. Do you know who the father of the lie is? It's Satan!!!................Is he your daddy? I think he is!"
You might say:
Hey, this isn't a hostage negotiation here. I'm not going to read your stinkin literature! I came here to preach to YOU remember?........... Now, if you want to preach to ME, you'll have to get up off YOUR lazy behind, and come knock on MY door on a Saturday morning. But don't bother because I'm NOT INTERESTED in your beliefs, because I HAVE MY OWN RELIGION, and I'M TOO BUSY in the work of the Lord to READ-YOUR-LITERATURE-IF-YOU'LL-READ-MINE, JUNK! Then slam THEIR own door in THEIR face!
OKAY!!!!!! So who wants to make a car group for this weekend?
There is a time, I am sorry to say, when I would have found this funny, too. I bet it was really cathartic and empowering for whoever wrote that, and for all the people who forwarded it and laughed at it. They just can't wait for that Jehovah of theirs to kill all those worldly people.
