Lightbulb Joke

by Asheron 27 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Asheron

  Q: How many born-again Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: None. They have already seen the light.

  Q: How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: We can't know.

  Q: How many deists does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: None. If the light bulb no longer interferes with the world, why bother interfering with the light bulb?

  Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: None. The light bulb does what the light bulb does. Maybe you can understand a tiny portion of light bulb theory, but if you think you know why it’s there, you are deluding yourself. We are not that smart and probably never will be. The light from the light bulb is not there to serve you. You are not the grand drama around which the light bulb spins. Just be thankful for whatever light you have been lucky enough to experience.

  Asheron
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  Q. How many computer programmers does it take to change the lightbulb?
  A. None. It's a hardware problem.

  Q. How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
  A. One, but the lightbulb has got to want to change,

  Q. How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?
  A. THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
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  gordon d

  How many JW's does it take to change a light bulb?

  DON"T CHANGE NOTHING!!!! JUST WAIT THERE, Patiently... It'll Get Brighter!!!
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  Clam

  How many yuppies does it take to change a light bulb?

  Three. One to phone the electrician and two to make the gin and tonics.
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  Gerard

  Q: How many JW elders takes to change a light bulb?

  A: One. He holds up the light bulb and the world spins around him.
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  gordon d

  A: One. He holds up the light bulb and the world spins around him.

  LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks, I needed that!
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  Stephanus

  Q. How many JWs does it take to change a light bulb?

  A. 103. Volunteers from the congregation spend several months, in lieu of field service, doing the preparation, laying the groundwork for the lightbulb change. Then, over the designated weekend, the press is invited, and Bethel sends out the Building Committee to oversee the changing of the lightbulb in the mere space of a single weekend!

  ...then a week later the PO quietly removes the bulb after instruction from Bethel that the light is no longer current...
• 

  read good books

  How long does it take for a pioneer to change a light bulb? Well if you factor in coffee breaks and padding his time in order to make hour quotas probably a month or two.
• 

  buriram

  How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

  1 to change the light bulb and 10 to feel the experience man
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  daystar

  • How many Dianic women does it take to change a lightbulb?
    That's W-I-M-M-I-N, and it's still not funny!
  • How many years does it take a Gardnerian witch to change a light bulb?
    A year and A day in an Outer Grove, a year and a day at first level, a year
    and a day at second level, but only third levels change light bulbs.
  • How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Five Tons.
  • How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    a blue fish Tueday.
  • How many Discordians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    2-One to hold a ladder and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored east german machine tools.
  • How many Buckland witches does it take to change a light bulb?
    "Refer to my second book, "Practical Light Bulb Changing" by Raymond Buckland..."
  • How many Thelemites does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None, Every One of them is a Star.
  • How many Thelemites does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. Crowley never wrote a book on it.
  • How many Golden Dawners does it take to change a light bulb?
    One to hold the ladder, one to hold the bulb, three to decipher the Light Bulb Ritual from the Secret Chiefs, one to publish it, and one to sue all the others.
  • How many Sex magicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Only two, but they have to be very small!
  • How many New-agers does it take to change a light bulb? (in a flaky voice)
    We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.
  • How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, mecca of new agers) does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives.

  • How many Odinists does it take to change a lightbulb? 21, one to hold the light bulb, 20 to drink till the world spins.