Thank you Wanderer for posting the queries..part of the self examination we go through no doubt to pull things living inside we want to get out.
Questions to Consider
How did you deal with the pressures of Witness life? I just did. Considered it as par for the coursel Thrived in it most of the time. Seemed important to be so busy doing something that seemed so important and right. Can't do too much for God ya know!! Finally came to a crashing realization that if after decades of doing doing doing all the danged elders could find to complain about was fashion and to hold back privileges as a result of their own personal opinions then it was simply impossible to please God. I had given my all, given up way more than anyone beforehand could have convinced me I would and no matter what we did it was simply never enough or good enough. I wound up in a fetal position for a few days never going out of my home, licking my wounds and feeling very sorry for myself and nursing a huge hate for God. Then, Christmas season rolled around and I had been more and more involved with disgruntled former witnesses online and my eyes started 'seeing' statements and my mind started letting them in. Like, God and the Org were not one and the same. Finally..,ya just leave and that is how you deal with pressure. Ya just leave and say ENOUGH ALREADY.
How did we keep up this pace for years on end? FEAR! Fear of death both real and spiritual. FEAR of being labeled by others in the congregation. FEAR of not being whole souled. FEAR of disappointing your fellow believers. FEAR of saying or doing something that might tick someone off and having to turn yourself inside out apologizing for it for a millinium. FEAR of loss of blood family who won't speak to you if you did something that would cause discipline. FEAR of GOD, FEAR, FEAR, FEAR....it is a powerful tool the mind uses to keep it going. It is also so effective on a person's emotions that it can suppress immune systems...ever wonder why JW's are SO SICK all the time? Well the legitimate sick ones not just the ones who use being sick to get out of meetings and the ministry. FEAR...it is how we coped.