A new customer was in the shop today, he saw the insight books on a table and we got to talking. He told me he was disfellowshipped and he is totally depressed. I talked to him and directed him to this board and maybe read the coc book and he then became quite visibly nervous about apostates and apostate literature even being around one. How could I have handled this he really is grieving. He will be back Saturday for more work to be done to his truck. Any advice?
A df''d jw was in today and very depressed
by hambeak 14 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
I would ask specifically what he thinks is depressing him. It could be not being able to talk to his JW family and friends. Not everyone is df'd for not agreeing with WTS doctrine; many are df'd for "immorality" or drugs or smoking.
Then ask him if he agrees with his being df'd. If he agrees with it, then ask why and where is the bible it says that.
Blondie
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Mary
What was he DF'd for? Does he still believe this is "the Truth"? It's kinda hard to determine what to say to him if you don't know the person's background....see if you can get more information from him when he comes back on the weekend.....
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hambeak
He told me he was disfellowshipped for immorality. He said the JC told him 3 times to avoid this woman and he really believes the borg is gods mouthpiece. Now his eldest daughter is about to be disfellowshipped because she wants to move in with her boyfriend. She is in her mid 20's
They are from Guatamala originally.
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fullofdoubtnow
If he really believes the jws are the true religion, I imagine he will try to be reinstated, in which case there probably isn't much you can do to help him. You can only help him if he isn't too sure it's the truth.
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blondie
So Hambeak, is he avoiding this woman? If not, he may believe god speaks through the WTS but not enough to change his behavior.
I have seen even inactive or ex-JWs who still believe that god is with the WTS, but they want to do things they can't and be a JW. I was there, I was inactive, believed that the WTS was imperfect but better than other religions, but that I was going to die at the Big A.
He has to determine why he believes the WTS has "the truth." Perhaps on the way down that road he will determine that they don't.
Blondie
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hambeak
We talked for an hour this am while one of my guys alligned his front end and I learned a few things from him as I stated previously. I did ask him what he thought about certain dates and nothing came to pass ie 1914 1975 etc. I even asked him why was it Jesus showed unconditional love to sinners and that shunning was not showing love. At that point his eyes welled up with tears. This fellow is about my age. He is either living with this lady or married to her I don't know which.
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deaconbluez
haha you guys are like a bunch of vultures circling this poor dude to rally him to your "cause".
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hambeak
Say dbluz do you realize what sight you are on? The borg has caused so much unnecessary grief it is ridiculous. So unless you have been in those shoes you should not make such an ignorant comment
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drew sagan
Many who get discipline from the organization are depressed because they cannot live up to the standards they feel they must obey. This is a very classic example of this.
This guy is most likely going to be very nervous about anything you give him regarding 'the real truth'. I would be more inclined to offer a personal expierance. Just talking about how happy you are outside of the organization can make a big differance in itself.
Think about this. All of this guys life he has been told that if he is ever outside this organization he will be unhappy. Guess what, he is outside of the organization an unhappy. Wonder how that happened. Share things with him that shows their is life beyond the organization. He will then become curious as to WHY you can be so happy outside of the org and then you can start to share some of the info you know.
Break through the 'fear factor', then move to other things. It's the #1 rule in dealing with people in mind control groups.