anyone else ever feel like this??

by lydia 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  dungbeetle

  This is my third attempt to get this post up. Grrrrrrrrr....

  I haven't done any personal research in this field, but I have come across a couple of intereseting tidbits...

  1)Clinical depression and cognitive dissonance (like Bethel locking its doors and keeping them locked) are a hallmark of ANY cult..like any dysfunctional 'family' they maintain their existance at the expense of its members.

  2) For reasons I can't fathom, social psychologists have been studying JW's since the early 60's. Their collective results show that it is clinically depressed and cognitively dissonanced people that stay in the org the longest, or are attracted to the org in the first place. Which is why so many of us are working so hard for intraorganizational change rather than just walking away for our own sakes.

  As can be expected. people like us are labeled 'apostates' and 'evil' and I don't know what else, and the positive changes that are reached inside this org are credited to holy spirit directed leaders rather than the people who devoted 10, 15, or 20 years of their life to accomplishing change. <sigh>

  Such is life.

  dungbeetle... STILL cleaning up the crap.
• 

  Tina

  Hi Lydia!!
  I can appreciate the feelings you are going thru. Went thru some of them while 'in'. Especially the one of never feeling good enough.
  I went back to college(found out the study of human behavior and motivation helped me to heal) and therapy.
  What I came to realize is the JW enviornment played such a major role in this. That society is intentionally abusive. It reinforces neagtive beliefs we have about ourselves and the world around us!

  It fosters a sense of helplessness and dependency,so that we can't see how to change our thinking to a healthier ,more positive one.
  It re-inforced the feelings of lack of control,personal responsibility by not allowing us to express our real wants and needs. It never gave us(more so for women than men) opportunities to experience successes. it made us dependent on the wishes and control of others,rather than empowering us and teaching us developmental,social,personal decision making skills.
  It took us away from ourselves.
  It was a cycle of negative beliefs,that led to negative feelings,that led to negative,self-defeating behavior.

  What helped me was to change the cycle.Beliefs=I can do what I put my mind too
  I am a valuable and worthy person deserving of the good things in life.
  I have personal responsibility,and use that to meet and accept challenges,knowing most times,I CAN be successful.I am GOOD enough! I am worth Knowing!
  Thinking new positive beliefs leads to feelings associated with these.
  Confidence,happiness,openness,positivity
  The feelings of positive beliefs then lead to new behaviors! Becoming pro-active,taking control of decision making,trying new and difficult challenges,becoming outgoing,energized,getting in sync with reality!

  As the others have mentioned,there are many many self help books out there to help turn negative feelings and behaviors into positive pro-active ones! Wishing you the best! Tina

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."