Impossible Situation?Of Course it did not work!

smily

So I agreed to have a look at all this JW stuff just to save our relationship and after all that Iam still not good enough! Well Iam sure this is not a surprise to all you wise people here but I still dont understand....I never did think love conquered all...but ....He feels that as he is having doubts it must be wrong..I asked him what was more important-What I believed in or who I really was as a person? He said I just dont understand...of course it was most important what I believed in and he cannot see himself living his life with anyone who is not fully in the truth! He still wanted to see me though but i said No,......slightly broken hearted and definitely confused!

Abandoned

(((smily)))

Take the hurt, deal with it, get through it, get over it, and move on. Until he breaks free of the crap, and there's no guarantee he will, you are setting yourself up for heartache. You'll find someone though.

mrsjones5

Yes slightly broken hearted but slightly confused - No. I think you understand more than you want to admit. And I think it was a good thing that you said no. Just as he thinks he needs someone who is fully in the "truth", you need someone who fully without strings attached wants to be with you and accept the whole package.

Josie

smily

yah,where are all the good guys...funny He was so nice before He moved our friendship onwards He knew who I was and yet he still went forward....selfish I believe...Iam sure god would not like that!! Perhaps I should remind him of this now that he wants to know why we are not friends anymore?

choosing life

Cut yourself free and stay clear. It es a lot easier now when there are no firm commitments, kids, etc. It is rare that a JW will ever look upon you as who you really are. After all, they have to believe that you are going to be destryrd soon by God. and he appears to be very indocrinated by this cult.

And yes, he is very selfish to start a relationship with you when he knows it is going nowhere. Find someone who deserves you and will love you for who you truly are with no strings attached.

megsmomma

Have you ever dated a bonified ex-JW.....Hee hee! I think there are some good ones here! (I like to be a match-maker!)

skyking

Sorry, I feel your hurt, this is not fair.

I was married 17 years when I left the JW's and my wife had a fit, she left me for awhile. She demanded that I either went back your she would never come back. I told her stay the HELL gone I was not going to ever go back. She finally came home and read my "Blood letter" proving the B.S. of the JW's stand on blood from the bible. She read all the information about the NGO's and the Society's response. etc... She could see I was right and she quit and is a full blown ex-JW.

It worked out for me but only because I would not cave into her demands of getting back in the BORG.

I hope you can move froward, just know there a people like me that do feel your pain.

Sparkplug

Smiley~ it is not that you are not good enough. It is just that he is under the mindset that most all of us here were under once. I cannot tell you how many wonderful men I hurt because I did like them and was interested, but when all was said and done, I had this jacked up sense of what a "real mate" should be like and thus sabatoged my own relationships. They were not a JW or even my own husband was not a good enough JW.

The JW stuff really leads for unreal expectations and RUINs a lot of peoples lives. It is him and not you. But what is sad, it is not really even him. He probably does not even know who he is yet. He is just a tobot at this point. And as others have commented. HE has to wake up before he will be good for anyone.

moshe

He was probalby starting to feel the heat from the JW side. -dating a non-JW is frowned upon. He was too much of a wimp to stand up for himself and when you didn't come over to the "dark side", he was pretty much whipped and had to find a reason to get out. Notice how the JW puts the blame on the other person for breaking up. It's always "your" fault.

drew sagan

I think I have posted this before for you, but if not i'll post it again.

The Watchtower religion controls peoples mind with guilt and fear. This man that you know is no exception to the rule. He is being controlled, he is in fear and the reason he says 'you don't understand' is because you really don't understand. I'm not saying that to be rude, I really think you want to do the right thing. But in order to understand what he is going through you would have to be JW or part of a group that controls you. Since you have never been in a situation like his, with the fear he has you will never totally understand it.

I have this one suggestion for you. Since you are not familiar with the JW world I don't think you will ever be able to successfully challenge it. So I offer you this one bit of advice. Go down in flames.

At this point it looks like he is going to let his fears continue to control him, and he will eventually break this relationship. If it is going to end, I would suggest you give him one final challenge. Try to get him to read the book Crisis of Conscience. Get a copy of the book, hand it to him and say...'explain to me why what this guys says is wrong'. It is risky, but since you have nothing left to loose at this point why not. The reason I say just give him the book is because you will never be able to explain to him why JWs are wrong. If he just gets into the book himself it may just happen. Even if he decides not to read the book, he will remember that it exisits. It will be planted in his mind.

Other than that, I would say that you should prepare for this relationship to be over. Unless he ever leaves the JWs %100, there will allways be problems.

Impossible Situation?Of Course it did not work!

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