Were You Ever a Victim of Jealousy? (page 3)

joanne_

Hi there, yes myself and an older sister were the victems of jealousy. When the service arrangement was done, this sister was to join the two of us. She made up an excuse that she had a back-call that she was going to do by herself and that she didnt want to bring us along. It felt really awkward, I mean why didnt she say this in the group when they were making up the arrangements,,,anyhow it was very rude what she did. The only thing I could see was that she was jealous that I was going back to school, in my forties and the older sister had so much money she didnt know what to do with it.

I really wanted to speak to an elder about this, but I bit my tongue and just ignored it. There were times though, I wished I would have said something. But then a few years later it turns out that she was in a deep depression and her son was giving her big big problems, now I understand her actions. She became so unhappy in her life that she could'nt be around people who were happy. So whenever I see jealousy, its usually a root of that persons deep unhappiness and I try to understand it and not hold it against the person.

Joanne

DannyHaszard

My last stand point of "know" return Kingdom Hall Jehovah's Witnesses Rockland Massachusetts dog eat dog back-stabbing sleaze~Danny Haszard Bangor Maine

compound complex

Dear Friends,

Thanx very much for all your comments; they are much appreciated!

jgnat: I agree that somehow "victim" was not a totally correct or adequate word choice. The "boomerang effect" says it all. I'm still trying to find a word that better suggests the true outcome of jealousy gone amok. Thank you.

Compound-Complex

LongHairGal

Mzliz:

I had the same problem of being excluded from parties and get-togethers because they didn't want another attractive female around.

Also, I had early on unpleasant experiences where favoritism (or some other sick dynamic) by an elder was shown to somebody I was in a car group with where I was ignored. If this was a "control mechanism" of some sort it sure didn't work on me.

LHG

Mary

Ya......when I was a teenager, I was 'plump', didn't wear make up or anything......after I lost 30 lbs. started wearing make up and put some highlights in my hair, my 'best friend' was annoyed that I actually started getting some attention because I had lived in her shadow for years where all the guys drooled over her and she suddenly started viewing me as 'competition'. How dumb is that.......

On the other side, I'm jealous every time someone else wins the damn lottery.

Lady Lee

I've been by-passing this thread thinking No not me

But then I did a double think and the answer is YES

My JW now ex-husband was jealous. If we went to a wedding I was not allowed to dance with anyone but him and he hated dancing. I had to be very concious of who I was talking to so stuck with talking to the women only. I had to account for my time whenever I went out and usually went out shopping with a JW friend

After 15 years of marriage he told me he could never trust me because he remembered one incident on a bus at the beginning of our marriage where I was looking at some guy that got on the bus!!! He'd had that sitting in the back of his head for 15 years before saying anything. I had no idea what he was talking about.

Bam412

It was mainly by my mum amazingly. I didn't see it that way but looking back its the only explanation. I left the religion at 15/16 and went straight from home to living with my boyfriend of the time who I met in the record shop I worked in. It didn't work out, I had far too much baggage and used to fear the hell out of him talking about dying at armageddon at 2 in the morning! Anyhow that fizzled out and my mum got me when I was weak and nowhere to go, so I moved back home and then back to the meetings and then baptised, and then pioneered and then got to go on the platform a lot to talk about my FS experiences blah-de-blah - I was your prodigal daughter so to speak, from a life of drugs and immorality, I repented and returned and became a JW success!! We didn't go to our local congregation as the elders were mini-hitlers there was no debating it, unless you were related to one, or in their clique, you were treated like a peice of sh*t on the shoe basically. My mum still confesses to be anointed and a little woman who raised 4 children single-handed in that congregation and refused to allow the elders to assist (she's authority challenged) coming out a few years later and saying I have had the holy spirit beam me up scotty or something like that, proved a little too much for these Village Napoleans! So she had already moved with my sister to a city cong which was a train ride away. So yeah, I got myself a part-time mind-numbing job; data inputting which gave me £70 a week. My mum charged me £40 a week to live with her and my train ticket for the week was £20. Somehow I was ok with this! Then my mum said that I wasn't paying her enough and put my rent up to £45 and then to £50. I didn't grumble though as to me I was doing the work of the lord! When I started getting friendly with the bros and sis in the cong, she gave me a curfew of 9pm; I was 22!! The last straw was when I got up one morning to go on the FS and she came downstairs and said 'I want you and (my sis), out of my house' as we were not supporting her. She said that I had some music that was demonic - I used to work in a record shop and did get a lot of freebies, when I came back to the religion I threw out approx. 300 records most promos and be worth a few quid now and about 200 CDs, all I had left was basic acoustic stuff which in my JW hay-day was ok with my conscience. So that wasn't true.

Luckily a JW sister let me stay with her and she was good friends with some elder's wifes and hence they supported me, and I got back on my feet, quit the pioneering, got a full time job to afford a flat with my sis, in a bank which let me have a social life again. Then a new sister came into the congregation and turned out to be psychotic and had it in for my sister and I. But thats a story for another time!

Dismembered

Greetings compound complex,

:Re: Were You Ever a Victim of Jealousy?

A resounding yes to the question you pose in this thread. So much so that Proverbs 14:30 (as you partialy quoted) is one of the few verses in the Bible I'll put stock in. The reason being is, that I have seen it, and continue to experience it. These so-called "friends" I thought we had, and even "blood relatives" confounds me to no end. You would think that if one betters him or herself, that there would be a rejoycing, or that they'd be happy for you. But no, it's just the total opposite.

We, (my wife and I) have found that if you climb the "ladder of success" (which we have done)one rung ata time, most are not at all happy for you. No they want to drag you back down to the pit they're in.They want to be able to pet you on the head like a sick little puppy like they were used to, and say shit like, Awh don't worry, Jehober will provide....... And to them I always have the same thing to say. Fuck you!

Dismembered

LongHairGal

Dismembered:

You are right. They are not happy for you if they see you have any material success.

All I had was a full time job and I got the message loud and clear that some were jealous. They thought I was some kind of "golden girl" and some acted as if I owed people something - namely, the pioneers who didn't really work much for a living. I remember a few snide remarks over the years. In one instance, I had a nervy remark made to me by some character about my new outfit and in the next sentence made a hint about me doing a favor for somebody (which I ignored).

The sickest part about all this is that I would have been the LAST person to get help if I needed it. But yet these bastards were jealous!

LHG

Woofer

Like Lady Lee my husband was VERY jealous and controlling.

I had to have a cell phone and a pager . .. if he couldn't reach me on one, he would try the other. I had to bring home receipts for anything I did without him - to prove that I was where I said I was going to be. He put a tracking device on my van, and then would download the information from it when I was not around or in bed. He also put key stroke recording software on my home computer. He worked at a card dealership and could drive any car he wanted too, so he would follow me around in cars that I would not recognize. He would tell me what I could wear and who I could talk to and be friends with. The man was completely nuts - and then he wondered why I wanted to leave him???

When I was still in dub land I was good friends with a couple who were well off financially. Some of the sisters would talk bad about them and it really only was because they were jealous. I am not a jealous type of person. I am always happy when something good happens to my friends.

Were You Ever a Victim of Jealousy?

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