adopted Teenagers want to leave jw home (page 2)

looking_glass

I would go to an atty b/4 I would go to social services. That is an exercise in futility. An atty can give you what the kidz rights are and you can go from there. You may be able to call the local bar association and see if there is any type of free or cheap legal services that they can recommend so as to minimize the legal costs.

jwfacts

They are almost old enough to leave, it will be far less traumatic on everyone if you let them reach 17 and leave of their own accord. Once you go social or legal there will be large costs and even more emotional difficulty. I agree with the others that you are best off just giving emotional support. It may seem a long time to them at the moment, but a year will fly by. Have they talked to their adopted mother about how they feel and wanting to move out?

JWdaughter

17 will come fast for the 16 year old-but not fast enough for any 16 year old. Could you talk to the adoptive parents? Would they listen? Care? Your children have not been with them long enough to feel so bonded that they mind leaving. Social services may be the ones to call. I think that the shunning is abusive, and most educated people would recognize it as such and would not have a lame fall back that it is showing 'love'. Maybe a precedent could be set-who knows. No one should be allowed to treat children that way! SS won't care if the kids get birthday presents, but they will care about the shunning. The state may actually provide a lawyer in this case. Don't give up on 'the system' just yet.

My biggest concern is that the kids have begged for your assistance. How can you not do everything possible to help them? You might be able to speak to their adoptive parent(s) and let them know how the kids feel, and let them know(when you do) what their options are. Will it fix anything? If faced with SS and lawyers, your aunt may give up on trying to control them-she may allow them to move with you or to get their own place-as she has made their life very difficult in their own home by allowing people to treat them in such a way. Is SHE shunning them?

Shelly

lisavegas420

Have these children talked to their school counselor? The school would be able to help the children get in touch with other resourses.

lisa

miss_fortunate_one

The kids have talked to the school counsilor. She has told them that they are suffering from religious abuse. She even called cps. A few monthd ago my 6'5 uncle who weighs all of 250lbs. beat my daughter so bad that she had bruises all over her butt. Cps came, investigated and told my daughter if she had any more problems to call them. My mother called Cps yesterday. The kids are being shunned by the whole family. My aunt has 3 other kids and they are all shunning them as well. I am doing my best to let them know that there are people on the outside who are cheering them on and who love them no matter what. My uncle was an elder in the church until my daughter spoke up and said she no longer wants to be a witness. So of course the whole family is mad at them. I have talked to my aunt. She will not allow the kids to come to me because I am not a witness. Had I had known 15 years ago that this was going to happen., my kids would have stayed with me. I thought that I was giving them a better life than I ever had. It breaks my heart to wonder what they are having to endure. I feel like I got them into this situation, I should be the one to get them out, but how? I am going to contact an attorney today and see what he says. Everyone send some positive energy my way please.

megsmomma

That is really sad that you and your kids are going through this. It sounds like h@ll, living with an abusive elder.I am so happy you are their mom and you are trying to get them out. I will be thinking of you and praying....sending good vibes.

jstalin

I have a friend who emancipated herself when she was 17. They might want to explore that route.

jgnat

I DO think a social worker will help. These young people are only a couple years away from being adults. They LITERALLY have the power to walk away from their adoptive aunt any time they like. As long as they make it clear where they DON'T want to live and where they DO want to live, social services will help it happen.

It would be another case entirely if they were of elementary age. THEN there would have to be attorneys, assessments, and all sorts of stuff going on.

looking_glass

Jay - I don't think social workers in the states are the same as in canada. Our social services are overloaded and horrible. I am assuming the kids are here in the states, but i may be wrong. If that is the case and she lives in canada, i would defer to you, because i don't know canada and their laws and/or children and family services assistance programs.

To me it is like a chess game, you have to figure out what move is best and that will not end the game in a bad way. Either way, the kids should seek counseling of some sort.

miss_fortunate_one

I wanted to keep everyone updated about the kids. Have not been on in awhile because now I have 3 teenagers living here with me. Am loving it. My aunt decided to let the kids go. They had some drama at their house and the police were called by my son. They took my daughter to the police station. I then got a call from my son asking if I would come and get him. After verifying that he could leave the home and I would not be charged for kidnapping, me and my husband made the 2 1/2 hour trip to get him. Just as we were returning home, we got another call. This time from my aunt. She told me to come and get my daughter. So, we turned around and went and got her. So, for the last 2 1/2 weeks I have had the kids and am loving it. Thanks to everyone who has posted. Now I am off to a new topic. Christmas

adopted Teenagers want to leave jw home

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