by ringo5 30 Replies latest jw friends
At first I couldn't understand why they NEVER........... EVER came to see us, or ask what happened.
I honestly thought they would come to see us when we became Inactive™. I admit, it was a test to see whether they really cared about us as much as the WTS (and they) always claimed that they did. If they showed up now (more than 10 years since we stopped going to meetings) I'd ask them if they care about me so f***ing much, what took them so f***ing long to show it.
there was a time that if the elders had given me some loving attention and help , I'd never have doubted that it was truly gods organization. its all i'd known since birth and really thought the fault was with me not with the watchtower.
but that time passed long ago and what i know now.... well its obviously not gods organization and though i do have faults, being unworthy of love and attention isnt one of them.
HELL NO....I "faded" 25 years ago but still am around because of my dub wife.
Attention from the elders at this point would only mean one thing. They are out to get me.
When I was newly faded, the elders did come to see me, and I was totally freaked out. I knew it was all a lie, but somehow I felt like I was obligated to answer anything they asked of me. I was afraid I'd say something to make them DF me, and I didn't want that (my husband is still in, we have only JW friends, no contact with anyone except JWs.. you know the drill).
Now, after a couple years of fading, I have made some exJW friends, people who care about me even though most of them have never met me. I know that I'll be ok if all my JW friends cut me off (they pretty much already have.) I don't feel obligated to answer any and all question the elders or CO ask me. I don't care if they come by, but I'd really rather that they didn't.
What hurts, though, is all my 'friends', who feel they have to severely limit their 'association' with me so as not to 'spoil' their 'useful habits.'
GGG
Nope....I dread the day my hubby wants us to have a "sheparding call" from the bros, so as to encourage me to return to meetings! I won't be hurt or offended if we never get one.... I don't know that I can trust myself to not blurt out things that would probably put me under the microscope if they were to ask me direct questions about my feelings/beliefs!!
Hi GGG!!!! I'll always be your friend, you can count on me!!!
bythesea
I'm a fader wannabe. Fade, fade, fade, pressure, go, go, go, snap, fade, fade, fade and so on and so on and so on...
I DREAD the Elders coming over. I don't want to go into a diatribe about my feelings OR back into a DFing. Basically, I wouldn't know what to tell them.
Interesting question . . . actually very relevant right now. Hubby and I are planning an anniversary party (25 years) and we sat down to make the guest list. He suggested that we invite some of our "friends" from the congregation. Mind you, these are friends who haven't called or seen us in @ 2 years! While I still feel warmly towards those he mentioned, part of me is afraid that if we "remind them that we're here" suddenly they're want to "talk." We're not DAd or DFd and it could really be the beginning of the end . . . It's kinda nice being invisible
I agree Ringo. In the beginning I did not want to see the elders and I am glad they never came to 'encourage me'. At that time, I was so mixed up. I knew in my heart that it was'nt right for me, but could I stand up to the elders? I dont think I could have. I would have felt bad and gave in.
But now, I would love the chance to talk with an elder. I would love to ask the hard questions. The blood issue, UN issue, lack of love issue, change of light, etc...I know today I could stand up to them and there is no way they could make me feel bad.
It would be a very interesting conversation, I am sure.
Joanne
If only I were left alone!
Elders will not visit "apostates". Also in the case of Mulan ,her husband used to be an elder and I have noticed that they too also get ignored for some reason which I am hoping that they do with me once I get the guts to leave this sorry ass religion for good.
