Were you "fortunate" enough to be part of the "in crowd" or were you a spectator???
Were You Ever In The Congregation Clique?
by minimus 42 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
Fortunate enough? I was fortunate enough NOT to be in the congregation cliques. From what I witnessed, these people (mostly the sisters) were not really "friends". They were all in competition with one another as to who was the skinniest, who dressed the best, and who's house looked like a Martha Stewart creation. I saw these women turn on each other over the slightest perceived insult and they stabbed each other in the back and took glee in one of their group's downfall.
My Dub sister absolutely loves being in the congregation cliques. Very, very few of these people are, what I would call "true friends". She also enjoys people trying to suck up to her so that they too might be included in the "cliques" but it can turn nasty. My BIL was an elder and he had a suck up wannabee trying to kiss his ass because he wanted to be made an elder. He thought my BIL should have done something to make it happen. When he didn't, this slimeball turned on the them with a vengence and tried getting my BIL in trouble with the CO. At the same time, my sister had two people who were also suck up wannabees turn on her and betray her. This all happened at once and she was shocked that they would dare treat her like that. I told her "....and this really surprises you? If someone is jealous of you or simply hangs around you because they think you're part of the "in group", then they're not really your friend and they WILL turn on you at some point."
Fortunately, I chose my friends because I like them---not for any position they might have because that crap never meant anything to me to begin with.
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OnTheWayOut
I was able to manage my way into the "in" crowd as a young JW. Later, as an elder, I found that elders formed their own "in" crowd. There are often a few different cliques in a congregation or area. There's the cool fringe young people, there's the pioneers, there's the invite the CO to lunch and dinner crowd, there's the R-rated movies or club-going crowd. There are many faithful that spend no time, whatsoever, in these crowds.
As a fader, my biggest concern is for the wife. We will soon be "out" crowd.
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sspo
When you're an elder you will be but the widows and orphans, shy ones and poor ones are out there alone and not fitting in any group.
I tried hard to be hospitable to everyone but for most part unless you are somebody in the congregation you will experience rejection and loneliness.
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fokyc
I had never thought about this before, I suppose for a while I must have been in the 'clique'.
For six years we had the CO to stay with us, as they always asked to come back.
Then the PO had an extension to his house built and we were OUT!
fokyc
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whyamihere
Honestly, I wasn't in the "in" crowd. Mainly because I wasn't odd looking, geeky, or a zealous pioneer!
I was the girl in the back with the "cocktail" uniform on, sleeping through half the service.
Brookie
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Wasanelder Once
Nope, I was not with the "in" crowd. I was in with the "outsiders" which made me more popular, just with the wrong people to remain viable within the ORG.
Glad to be out of the Great Crowd!
W.Once
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minimus
To be an elder, you must be in the "Boy's Club". If one was an unpopular elder (maybe because of simply being weird), then nobody wanted to be around him (or his wife) anyway.
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OnTheWayOut
Whyamihere,
Did many of the brothers sit in the back (or congregate at the back of the room) when you were in your "cocktail" uniform?
You might have been able to start your own fringe clique.
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Backed away
Sadly now as I look back at we were. my parents had money and my Father was the PO and was asked to move pretty regularly (every couple years to help another cong.) so our popularity had more to do with status and influence. being gone for sometime now, it's clear money and power worked even in the KH and those we were around had the same. I'm so ashamed of that now.
Funny, my "worldly" friends now could care less about such things and yet all the while I was "in" I thought just the opposite. it's amazing what you see once the blinders come off.