The other teenage girls in my congregation hated me. I was 'too weired' for them becuase I made my own clothes and listened to different music. What really sucked for me when I was a teen was that I had no friends my age in the congregation, and I wasn't allowed to associate with my 'worldy' friends outside of school. I was soooooo bored on the weekends.
Were You Ever In The Congregation Clique?
by minimus 42 Replies latest jw friends
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cr1234
ya with you!
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willyloman
We were all the way in. You know that expression, "pillars of the congregation"? That was us. Which was probably why it took so long to get out.
There is nothing quite like being in the "in"crowd in dubville. I thought about that this a.m. when a "sister" who lives around the corner from us drove by as I was backing out of the driveway to go to work. She drove ahead of me for a mile or so until she turned off to go to the KH for FS. She's a pioneer.
She's as "in" as you can get and here is what that means to her She's about 25, attractive, married to an elder 15 years older. He has a high-paying construction job in an area where building has been booming for a decade. She gets companionship, sex, money, and handsome and articulate hubby who is highly respected in their social group, and is privy to all the latest congo gossip and "dirt." They own an expensive house. She is looked up to by the flock due to her position as an elder's wife. She gets respect. On top of that, she doesn't have to work. She can dress well, show up at the hall several mornings a week, ride around with the girls, drink Starbucks, chat up lonely old ladies, and feel good about herself because she is "devoted to God." She has no children and no career, so this is all very important to her. She can't imagine any other life.
We -- and many of you on this forum -- gave all that up when we had our own personal Crisis of Conscience. We, speaking for my wife and I, have no regrets, are much happier and satisfied now, and love the new taste of freedom.
But that's what it was like to be 'in." It's a lovely little bubble while it lasts. As long as life and reality and critical thinking don't interfere, it's a beautiful thing.
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minimus
If you don't want to think, being a JW is easy! If you open your eyes, either you'll stay in miserable or R U N.
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moshe
No never was- everyone loved coming over to our house for meals and childrens parties. I had a 16mm sound projector and we had real movies and cartoons at our parties- this was in the 70's , pre-VCR days. I finally realized what the deal was after a few years and we cut everyone off. Being on the outside made it easier to leave. And my JW wife was really on the outside after I sent my letter in. Even divorcing me did not help. The JW families considered my kids to be tainted from being with me, so they were "marked", in a sense. That made it easier for them to quit, too a few years later.
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Honesty
No.
Never will be, either.
I was in their faces, though.
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hambeak
No I pretty much was left out of a lot of the social stuff. Probably because I was quite fat in those days and poor.
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XJW4EVR
There was no "in crowd" at least not with the kids I grew up with. We were all just trying to get along at school and at home with little or no problems. With the exception of Tanya & Josie. They were the holiest of all holy J-Dub teens. They ate together, sat together, went out in service together, and as we all found out later, slept together. On the surface they were holier-than -thou J-Dubs, little did we know the dirty little little secret that they kept.
It was exposed when Tanya "married up," a young MS 10 years older than her that had moved to where the "need was great", and as my dad said, "going places." Well, Tanya completely off Josie. Tanya had nothing whatsoever to do with Josie, so Josie got a conscience attack, and went to my dad and spilled the beans. Josie was DF'd and Tanya was Privately Reproved. My dad had recused himself from the JC because Josie had worked with him in the restaurant for a couple of years, and he felt that he was too close, and would not be able to be impartial.
I found out all of this, when Josie came out to L.A. and looked me up. When her and I met for drinks, she told me the whole thing, and I was shocked. It was from her that I learned that I was considered the ring leader of the "cool" clique, and how Tanya and her hated me, and everyone else that were my friends. Again I was shocked, because I never wanted to be part of a clique. I always thought they were stupid. Besides, I had been an outside in a Cong. that was cliqish, and I hated it. So I never wanted to be a part of one or form one. I guess I did, when I only allowed the sinners in the group, and not the saints.
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Chameleon
Nope. Mostly 'cause I had different interests.
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SirNose586
There was a young'ns clique that I did things every so often with, but I didn't have a full membership, because I was a year or two older than everyone. I didn't get invites to their more notorious hangouts, and I would hear about it later, and how the party would be the subject of an elder's meeting or JC. In a way it was nice because I could just freely go between them and any other group, really.
Today this young'ns clique is not really around all that often--a few demotions here and there, and their influence is more or less gone.