A question about Birthdays....

by whyizit 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  merfi

  I received birthday and various holiday cards my whole time as a JW. My kids did as well. This might be a different slant on this, but what the cards did for me was keep alive a little gnawing thing in my head and heart. It felt so NICE to be remembered with a card; I was thought of and loved. The gnawing thing was the thought "how can this be "bad"?!"... and I always wished that I *could* give cards, gifts or at the very least acknowledge someone on their birthday or return a holiday greeting -- it was just a nice, normal HUMAN thing to do. I never really felt 'right' turning off the natural love as expressed in cards and good wishes.

  So if you do give her a card, I would give her one from your heart. Soppy Hallmark that makes your eyes well up? That's how I know I found the 'perfect' card -- if I'm sniffing away in the card aisle. If she's 'stumbled' or offended, it's really up to her to tell you... but if she hasn't said to NOT give her one, then by all means express your friendship to her. :)

  Just my 2c :)

  ~merfi
• 

  Abandoned

  If she's "deep" into the organization, she will be offended regardless of how close you two were. On the other hand, she may see more love from your gesture than she's used to seeing in the congregation and that may make a good impression. I think you might want to find a card that doesn't specifically say birthday though.

  If it looks to her to be persecution then you're not going to get your desired result. The jw are taught to look for and rejoice over persecution and "being forced to celebrate" is one that can definitely strike a nerve. Even when I was heavy into the org, my mom would send me something for my birthday. I got mad at her one year so she stopped sending me "birthday" cards, but she'd still send me money or a gift. Well, one year she sent me a check for fifty bucks but she put "birthday" in the note section of the check. I ripped it up in a burst of anger as soon as I saw it. I still shake my head over the way I responded to many, many things.
• 

  jayhawk1

  I say send the Birthday card, then go out and chop off a Baker's or a Vagabond's head.
• 

  whyizit

  Strangest thing:

  I've never had a birthday party of my own, but I've been to quite a few others. I have never seen anyone get their head cut off. Infact, I've not met anyone who ever mentioned such a thing happening at any that they had been to either!

  Closest thing, was when a Spanish kid hit a pinata and a bunch of candy spilled out. And pinning the tail on the donkey! But that was about as deviate as it ever got.