I also have been out of the org. for over 20 years, so no heavy duty emotions as that is all over. I can relate to the experiences I am reading, though, having been through it all long ago. Mostly I am enjoying having a place where I can dish dirt on the JWs. I was recently reunited with a friend I lost track of about 40 years ago (she was disfellowshipped and disappeared) and we have thoroughly enjoyed sharing our experiences and finding out what happened to people we knew years ago. And we loooooooove talking bad about the WTBTS. I wish I knew what happened to Charlotte Moss, though, from long ago. If anyone knows what became of her, and if it is OK to share that info on the forum (?) I'd love to know where she is and how she is. Hortensia
What emotions were you feeling as you started reading the posts on JWD?
by What-A-Coincidence 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Kudra
I felt super excited that I finally found an exJW discussion board that was intelligent and had interesting info on JWs. I had only previously been on the JWO (Jehovah's Witnesses Online) which is not very impressive.
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daniel-p
I remember feeling elated when I realized I wasn't crazy or wrong about what I was feeling. I felt massive relief, comfort, like a huge weight had been lifted. I was amazed by more than a few stories by posters here on the board and am grateful for their help during that period - shout out to IP_SEC and Seattleniceguy.
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jambon1
I felt relieved that I wasnt wicked and that others (many), felt the same way as me. Then just plain angry that people have went through so much in this org. It is a bit different from he 'identifying mark' that we were taught existed. The religion is an illusion.
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lisavegas420
I had a full blown panic attack. But couldn't stay away. Everytime I would read something new, I felt sick and had to walk away. Sweating, nausea, headachy. ...but I couldn't stay away. I could not believe how many people thought exactly like I did. I suddenly felt somewhat normal. I wasn't crazy. I was free, I went off of anti-depressants shortly after finding this board after 20years of being on meds. I hadn't been to a meeting in almost 15 years. I didn't know I still had so much JW baggage.
I still hope my family gets free, but I don't know if they are stong enough to handle the truth about the truth.
lisa
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thecarpenter
Interesting thread, I had finally read crisis of conscious and that done it for me. Ray Franz was in a position to know the facts and he provided all sorts of information and proof I needed (confirmed a lot of suspicions). I had joined the forum like two months earlier but really didn't read much because it was hearsay (I needed more proof). After reading both of Franz's books and several others, I was out. It was only then that I started reading many of the posts and further rounding out my education on Jdubs.
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Hortensia
The book that helped me the most was Visions of Glory by Barbara Harrison. I drifted away from the JWs and got some good counselling so that I was able to work through the guilt feelings and despair I felt for a long time. Got some distance and understanding of the whole scene. However, I felt alone for a long time, no one to talk with about this background as there is no point in talking with active JWs who have securely closed minds, and others outside the organization didn't understand and couldn't relate. Then I met an ex-JW in Wyoming who spotted me for what I was and gave me a copy of Visions of Glory. Thank goodness - it freed me from the last of the mind control of the organization. That was about 20 years ago, I think. Recently I was glad to find these posts and this forum because having someone to talk with is still a problem. I have a friend who was a JW years ago and we talk about how we grew up and what it did to us. It's very cathartic to just talk about it all.
As for the rest, once I realized I just plain don't believe the Bible, all that argument about doctrine didn't interest me. None of it is true, so why waste time disputing it? I don't care what JWs believe, I just feel sorry for their children and their other victims. It's an organization that does terrible damage with an amazing sense of the righteousness of their actions. If there is a god, which I doubt, JWs will be very very surprised on the last day.