by Schism 30 Replies latest jw friends
Either keep playing the depression card Or don't say anything. Put a note on your door asking people to call first before they come over as you have been suffering migraines and turn off your answering machine and turn the phone off and use cell phones between you and your husband.
In the meantime if you run into people smile and say thanks for thinking of me, I'm ill, I'll let ya know when I'm feeling better.
Stick with the depression excuse. If they pressure you for more information tell them you're depressed because of a medical problem. If they insist on knowing more about the medical problem, tell them it is a medical issue involving your testicles and you're too embarassed to go into detail. Most semi-normal people would back off at this point. If they don't then it's probably time to hit them. HARD!
W
If you want to make your exit fairly clean, tell the truth and they'll most likly leave you alone. Make excuses for why you havn't been to the meetings and you are only going to drag out your exit from the org. I made excueses at first and kept getting visits, when I finally told them the truth why I wasn't going to meetings the visits stopped. The truth works better than excuses... Peace Acadian
You have 2 options!....................and I have no problem with either one!
I have done both!
The first is really the BEST!
1 Tell them the "TRUTH"...........in which case you will have to talk to them for hours.
2 If you can' t do that one LIE!................A good one in this case is.................. "I will come to your meeting" ..............the conversation will be over in 1 min. ..................(they can't drive you there).........then DON'T go...........................when they call to to ask "why"......say you had a flat.....ran out of gas.......got and important out of state phone call......you get the idea!
Might as well do #1...............or you will have to play this game................ the rest of your life.
IF YOU WANT TO JUST FADE....
You will need to be patient, because it will take time. I like the idea of telling them very lovingly that you will think about it, and will try to make it. The important thing to remember is that you are the one that controlls the situation, not them. If they try to stay and talk, again, be the one that controls, and let them know you have a appointment to keep.
Always say the same thing each time, which will leave them with nothing to say, because you are always very kind and loving.
Hopie.
if you suffer from allergies perhaps there is mold in their building or maybe rats?? i dunno only thing i could come up with.
digestive problem with really bad lingering gas!!! at this rate with the list everyone has given you...you might get by til the next CO visit!
I don't know what advice to give you. I did fade, but I also don't have any family in the organization so it was easier for me from that standpoint. Although I lived at the bottom of the hill that the kingdom hall was located on, they never once stopped by (except the co one time, but I think that was when I was still attending).
At any rate, I don't know why the left me alone. I was an american attending a mexican congregation so perhaps it was jealousy over being able to cross into the states whenever I wanted or the fact that at the time, I made a lot more money than most in the congregation. I really don't know what the deal with, but from what I heard after I stopped attending, a lot of the brothers had me pegged to fall. :-) LOL
One thing I've learned over the years since I've attended is the importance to trust your gut instincts. They aren't always right like a crystal ball, but we are smarter and sharper than we give ourselves credit for at times. Since you are trying to escape a dysfunctional relationship that you didn't get involved with knowing the dysfunction, you are probably going to need to be clever at times. Plus, you know some of the things you can say and do that will turn off the well-indoctrinated without getting a visit. Think back to when you were zealous. What kind of comments would have you keep your distance from someone but wouldn't have caused you to run to the po? Anyway, good luck with your escape.
I think the best thing to do is be straight and honest.
"I won't be going to anymore meetings."
"Why"
"It's personal"
I have known people to do that and eventually be left alone, even by the elders. You have not said anything that they can really d/f you for.
You guys all have some really great advice. I think I would like to be as honest as possible, but I don't want to have to say too much. One sentence or less would be perfect!
I like the idea of just saying, "I just don't want to go because I don't feel like going". It's going to be VERY hard to get away with though, because my dad is the type who will pull teeth, get dramatic, and start yelling before the conversation even gets to that point.
Abandoned, I wish I could think back to a time when I was zealous to be able to come up with ideas, but honestly there was not one single day when I felt like I wanted to be a JW. I wouldn't have stayed away from any "apostate", and I never would have tattled on someone else.
If I didn't have family in the org, I would have the time of my life pissing the congregation off. I would get DFed, then get reinstated just to have fun getting DFed again.
I don't want to hurt my family's feelings, but I am not into the whole mushy thing either. I'd rather just keep it simple and tell them that I don't feel like going and that I don't know why...I just don't.
Thanks everyone!
