Anyone Ever Read The Four Agreements, A Toltec Wisdom Book?

by Good Girl or Bad Girl? 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  Further in Chapter 1:

  "There is another part of us that receives the judgments, and this part is called the Victim. The Victim carries the blame, the guilt, and the shame. It is the part of us that says, 'Poor me, I'm not good enough, I'm not intelligent enough, I'm not attractive enough, I'm not worthy of love, poor me.' The big Judge agrees and says, 'Yes, you are not good enough.' And this is all based on a belief system that we never chose to believe. These beliefs are so strong, that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives.

  "That is why we need a great deal of courage to challenge our own beliefs. Because even if we know we didn't choose all these beliefs, it is also true that we agreed to all of them. The agreement is so strong that even if we understand the concept of it not being true, we feel the blame, the guilt, and the shame that occur if we go against these rules.

  "True justice is paying only once for each mistake.

  "We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we don't need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again."

  (GG/BG sidenote: if we already do this to ourselves naturally, imagine how much this increases when we have parents, siblings, elders, elders' wives, and anyone else in the congregation doing the same thing to us over and over and over again - the emotional trauma and damage this can and does cause!)

  "How many times do we make our spouse, our children, or our parents pay for the same mistake? Every time we remember the mistake, we blame them again and send them all the emotional poison we feel at the injustice, and then we make them pay again for the same mistake. Is that justice?

  "Ninety-five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies."
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  A few extra little "snippets" that I underlined here and there, without including the entire paragraph I'll add them here - I'm just hoping this will resonate with someone else and help them like it is helping me!

  This is all still from the first chapter:

  "Others can put us into a deeper hell, true. But only if we allow this to happen."

  "There is no truth to find. Wherever we turn our heads, all we see is the truth, but with the agreements and beliefs we have stored in our mind, we have no eyes for this truth."

  "We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering."

  "We have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."

  "We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest."

  "We judge others according to our image of perfection as well, and naturally they fall short of our expectations."

  (GG/BG sidenote: These next couple of sentences just reinforce to me why many people end up walking away from the JW's; something has to happen to them to shake them enough to not want to put up with the BS anymore.)

  "If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.

  "Because in your belief system you say, 'I deserve it. This person is doing me a favor by being with me. I'm not worthy of love and respect. I'm not good enough.'" (GG/BG: good-for-nothing slave, anyone?)

  "The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse.

  "Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves; it is why we don't accept ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are."

  "you have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power."

  "If we can see it is our agreements which rule our life, and we don't like the dream of our life, we need to change our agreements."
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  Bodhisattva1320

  "Others can put us into a deeper hell, true. But only if we allow this to happen."

  "We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering."

  "you have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power."

  Wow i really want to read this book now- i love to see how ancient wisdom agrees across the globe, these quotes are so very 'eastern' and lovely :) (as well as plain good pshychology!)

  Thank you so much for sharing your favorite lines- love you girlie!!!!!!

  (((((((((GG/BG))))))))))))))
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  poppers

  From what I've read here it seems pretty good; but I wonder, does it address the question of what one really is? From what you posted It says, "We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest." So does it explain what one actually is beyond belief? For freedom, it seems to me that that is the most critical thing.
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  liquidsky

  I bought the book because it got so many great reviews, but I couldn't stand to finish it. It was way too repetative and I hated the writing style. But I haven't met anyone who didn't like it, so maybe I'm just wierd.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  poppers: From what I've read here it seems pretty good; but I wonder, does it address the question of what one really is? From what you posted It says, "We know we are not what we believe we are supposed to be and so we feel false, frustrated, and dishonest." So does it explain what one actually is beyond belief? For freedom, it seems to me that that is the most critical thing.

  Yes, poppers, it does, I believe. I'll have to post some of that later... the accounting department keeps hounding me for information... so I'd better get back to work!!!

  Bodhisattva:

  Wow i really want to read this book now- i love to see how ancient wisdom agrees across the globe, these quotes are so very 'eastern' and lovely :) (as well as plain good pshychology!)

  Thank you so much for sharing your favorite lines- love you girlie!!!!!!

  (((((((((GG/BG))))))))))))))

  Thanks, Bod, for your awesome love and support, gal, I love ya!!
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  Warlock

  We become a copy of Mamma's beliefs, Daddy's beliefs, society's beliefs, and religion's beliefs.

  Baby Girl,

  This has been the case since man's beginnings. What does the book propose as the solution?

  Papa Warbear
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  searching4truth

  this book seems awesome from what you have shared. I totally relate to your quotes. I want to go buy the book now. Thanx for sharing.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  liquidsky:

  I bought the book because it got so many great reviews, but I couldn't stand to finish it. It was way too repetative and I hated the writing style. But I haven't met anyone who didn't like it, so maybe I'm just wierd.

  you are not weird - some of the verbiage in later chapters is a bit simplistic and repetitive, i'll admit. but that's precisely why i've underlined my copy - because i don't care to go back and reread the stuff that is written in an annoying fashion, but i still wanted to benefit from the gist of it.

  I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but it's written in a motivational style, and sometimes it's sort of like "here's the third agreement, this is how you can do it, here's how you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, this is how." You get my point hopefully.

  But I still think it's quite a worthwhile read if you can get past that "I believe in you cuz I did it!" stuff.
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  Good Girl or Bad Girl?

  We become a copy of Mamma's beliefs, Daddy's beliefs, society's beliefs, and religion's beliefs.

  Baby Girl,

  This has been the case since man's beginnings. What does the book propose as the solution?

  Papa Warbear

  Awww, man, I finally got the attention of the masses and now i actually really gotta work or i may not have the means to support my book-buying habit, among other things. OK well, yes, Papa Bear, this HAS been the case since man's beginnings. I belive the Toltec way of life has been around nearly that long as well! Anyway, I PROMISE to come back and post more from later chapters that will hopefully answer some of these questions. What I quoted was all from the very first chapter, laying the foundation, so hopefully actually going into what the four Toltec agreements are a bit will answer a few questions.