by Abandoned 45 Replies latest jw friends
((((((((((((Abandoned)))))))))))
I feel for you. It's so hard to look at life positively when everything and everyone seems to be against you, but remember we are all here for you. I really hope things get better for you soon, you are in my thoughts
love
Linda
Abandoned: I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now. Do you have some friends around you to confide in? I hope so. Life is hard, but I choose to believe that God is good.
Here is a poem that has a beautiful sentiment. I pray that you will feel carried by strong arms:
One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."
Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964
Hey Abandoned, this is my first view on the thread and I want to say something helpful as I am sure most wanted to but many times we don't know what to say. We can feel your pain but I know at least with myself I don't have a degree hanging on my wall and always feel the trepidation of giving advise no matter what it is. However I feel compelled as a fellow human being, a part of the family here on earth to help my brother in need. I went through many difficult times and committed myself to a hospital for depression for two weeks about 15 years ago and went through extensive therapy for 6 months. That doesn't qualify me a an expert in mental health or depression but it does qualify me a fellow human that knows life is not always fair and I can feel your pain even if it wasn't the same circumstances. Talking to people going through depressing times is like trying to find the right words for a person who just lost a love one in death. There isn't any right words and many times we are afraid to say something because of a variety of reasons. I learned in therapy which was painful that many times we may hear things that we don't like. However as difficult as this may be. In reading your post, which I read twice to try and understand the chain of events, the underlying factor that I see, is this, you only mentioned God in the introduction and then in the very end. All the events of the situation and the last year or so, He was never mentioned except to blame Him for allowing this to happen. I believe in my personal opinion that God is the most blamed person who has ever lived. Just because he doesnt respond as fast as we like Him to, doesn't mean that he cares or caused it. I believe the thing that drew most of us to the witnesses is the need for a higher being and a love of God tempered with a love of life and being sick of the way things are in this world. The witnesses disillusioned us because of looking at men instead of God, I know that my personal attitude and actions for the first two years out I took it out on God and now I realise He had nothing to do with it. Satan was successful no matter what the religion was. It was easy to take it out on God, He didnt respond to my prayers as a conversation, He didn't do anything about it, at least right away, so it must be His fault and He doesn't listen. Nice way out for me, right? No. I can honestly say that all the things that happened to me He may have seen but it wasnt His fault just because He didn't interfer and stop it. I have three grown children, I have seen them rebel against wisdom and rules and avoid my suggestions, they have made their mistakes and didn't want my advise in life. I had to sit back and watch, it hurt me and still does, but their choices and failures are not and were not my fault. It also didn't mean I wasn't there or cared. As smaller children of a much bigger Father, He likewise watches us make our mistakes and failures. But that is the key, we made them and many times we had no control as the people around us, caused it, fabricated it, instigated it, it is life. It may suck but it is life. Obviously I believe there is a God, I don't believe He causes or stops ever event around us, but I also don't feel in any way it is His fault, we think with small minds as we obviously don't know everything and why it happens. There is another life coming, that He will ensure that the pains of this life don't happen again. I am not going to urge you to do anything about searching for Him. I just feel it is a shame that the witnesses have jaded so many people to turning from God because of their actions. I may not have any or all the answers for you and this post may be hogwash for you, but know that I and others care about you, the fact that many opted not to post doesnt mean that they dont care any more than God not posting everything in our life, doesn't mean that He doesn't care or exist. Many of the posts here and the ones you have recieved in the past and the ones you will recieve in the future may be God moving the hands of a person trying to communicate His love for you. We care about you Abandoned, and even though your sign in may say you feel that way, dont, there are many here who appreciate all the words of encouragement you have given and truly wish only the best for you my brother. Remember the words of Jesus when life gets you down whether monetarily or otherwise Luke 12:15b Life is not measured by how much you own.” Applied to money but the principle goes much further, look at what we have, not what we don't have. If you feel abandoned, think how much more the thousands and perhaps millions who have no source of talking this out who don't have a computer or know of this site. Be assured God sees our situation and one day He will change it all, it wasnt His fault and He will make the appropriate changes. Your friend and brother.
abr
From your posts here, Abandoned, I can tell you are a sensitive and smart guy. I have the feeling your life will be so much better five years from now. I bet you will barely recognize yourself.
hey AB
good morning..................hope you are feeling better today!!
purps
Hello Abandonded, I originally viewed your post, then I started to reply, then I thought about your situation and my reply and errased it.It's really hard finding words for your situation. I have been down on God also. I have been through very similar experiences, particularly at work. All I can say is hang in there, dont give up, tomorrow is goning to be a better day. Good luck. Jaguarbass
Abandoned,
as JW's we were taught that there is an answer to every question. Well, that's not right. Sometimes we have nothing to add. There are no words that can cure your situation, only time and your own positive outlook.
So, what to say?
How about, time will pass and you can use it to the best of your circumstance if you keep a positive attitude. When everything craps on you, wash up and move on. As far as God is concerned, he's too busy ignoring the cries of starving children and the victims of the evil of the world to fool with you or me. Don't be mad at him, it must take a supreme effort to ignore that much outcry.
W.Once
Thanks everyone for the replies and views and warm thoughts and whatever else. I scared myself last night. I don't know what comes next and that scares me too but a night's sleep and some quiet time have left me in better spirits.
I'd like to say thank you to everyone personally, but I don't have the energy to do that today. Anyway, I'm sorry for being such a grouch yesterday. I feel like a total jerk right now, but I felt so bad and I so much wanted a hug and to hear "I like you just the way you are." I know it's cheesy. Anyway, I didn't read the posts that well I guess, as though each one didn't specifically say "I like you," the did imply it only I couldn't see it last night.
(((((((everyone)))))))
Reread Wednesday's advice. Good stuff. LIFE IS UNFAIR. True.
Maybe there is a way to wipe the debt slate clean, maybe not.
Maybe you can find a better job or change in careers because
of a push this incident started. Maybe not. It's tough but you
have to forge on, make tough decisions as to what will help you.
But, from now on, record the date and what was said on paper or
e-notes somewhere from now on. Even if nobody sees the incident,
they will see that you are prepared to go to battle. Even now, write
what you can remember and see if your memory gives you enough
material to show them something the bosses can take seriously.
Perhaps it won't be much, but saying "Spring 2006- Jack said I had
a nice ass, while I was bending over. Summer 2006- Jack talked to
me about some Gay bar he loved going to." Something is better than
nothing- you might remember more than you thought you would.
Sometimes, we already have answers about things. What i mean has nothing to do w blame, but rather w deep desires. Perhaps, look inside yourself at your secret desires for your life: what do you want other people to do for you, how do you want your life to be, etc. The reason i suggest this approach, is because of the connections we have w others on subconscious levels. You can reprogram this stuff. I hope things start getting better for you.
S
