What do women REALLY want? (page 14)

Stephanus

I notice my secret word in all the Wimmin wishlists - it hasn't been mentioned by name, but it winds its way all throughout this thread...

Abandoned

Abandoned-

Learn to be completely happy and confident with yourself first- then go out there and give that to someone you want to love and have a ton of laughs with.

This has worked for me... I always flub up a relationship when I am not comfortable and happy with myself at the time. I'm not saying that you are not happy etc, but just somehting I have learned in my life...

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm happy to say that I'm doing this. I've had some tough weeks here in the past couple of months and today I realized what the problem was. Anyway, I can't give any details due to an ongoing investigation, but suffice to say I stood up to a bastard who harrassed me. I called him on some crap and I followed through to an authority and I was so proud of myself. It's one thing to decide you aren't putting up with crap, it's a-whole-nother thing to put it into practice.

Kudra

Alright Abandoned!!! Glad that you did that -good for you for standing up for yourself! Its a hard thing to do sometimes, but it will do wonders for your self esteem and hopefully will roll over into many aspects of your life.

...watch out, ladies!

:)

Abandoned

Alright Abandoned!!! Glad that you did that -good for you for standing up for yourself! Its a hard thing to do sometimes, but it will do wonders for your self esteem and hopefully will roll over into many aspects of your life.

Thanks for the encouragement. The truth is that it's already rolled over into other parts of my life. I'm sure I have more work to do, but taking down the sign that said, "Door Mat," was vital. I know what my goals and dreams are and I'm working on the ones that my intuition tells me are workable right now. One of those is finally getting my book of short stories published. Plus, since I've found I love photography, I've decided to do all my own illustrations. I have the current list at 23 stories, but I might include my "dialog only" ones which would put it about 30.

It isn't hard standing up for yourself. The hard part is making the DECISION to not accept crap. Once you make the decision, the rest is simple in comparison (in my opinion). But then I'm still kind of new at this.

zensim

Ok - so I have only skimmed through the seven pages of this post topic. Enough to see that basically I can only tell you what I want - lol.

However, I don't even think it is what just women want, but what all of us - men, women and children - want.

Unconditional love, freedom, adoration, to know thyself, to give expression to one's true self, to explore life uninhibited (ok, that's freedom again), to be special.

But here goes:

I want to be absolutely and utterly - totally - adored and loved so deeply and passionately. I want someone who can open freshly with me in each moment. I want someone who feels like they couldn't live without me - so much do they feel I am the light in their life - and yet has no will to control me or possess me.

I (and this I believe is true of all women) want to be beautiful in the eyes of my lover. Not just beautiful on the inside. Not just beautiful on the outside. BOTH! And beautiful in a sacred, worshipful kind of way - with awe and reverance. WITHOUT taking away anything from the other person. This feminine vessel feels divine and wants to give divine expression. It is so natural for women to be this - and yet judgment blocks both men and women from realising that this is the natural order.

Women are the source of life - creative powers of love's magnitude. And yes, they do want to be ravished by the masculine too. Women want a man so comfortable in his own masculinity that he can flow with the waves and tides of a women's emotions, desire and will. Women really do want men to be able to read their minds. Not necessarily literally - but when two humans are so open, they become so in tune with eachother that they instinctively respond to each other, their energies flowing in and out of each other in harmony.

That's what I want. What do you want?

Abandoned

That's what I want. What do you want?

I want someone who gets intoxicated with being spoiled without becoming spoiled. I want someone who thinks the ring I can afford is the best because it came from me with love. I want somene who wants me to come up behind them in the kitchen in the morning and kiss them on the back of their neck. I want someone who loves having me staring at them when we're at home alone and who believes me when I tell her she turns me on. I want someone who's on the same romantic schedule I am. I want someone who knows what her dreams are and is working toward reaching them. I want someone who wants to make me feel like a king when we're out on the town together.

zensim

Abandoned - there are women who want that - really! But women just don't want that all the time. There is a difference between feeling adored and feeling smothered.

I have no doubt that you can love passionately and deeply - you are such a sensitive soul. A woman wants a man who knows what she wants AND what he wants. There is nothing sexier than a guy who knows how to take charge - at the right time. In my experience, men just don't get the timing right, that's all.

See your beautiful sensitivity as a gift. It allows you to be in tune with a woman on a level that unfortunately most men (sorry guys - 'a lot of men') are a bit thickheaded with. I don't know any woman who doesn't like to be surprised with a kiss on the back of the neck. BUT - if I am in a real shit - it will just annoy me further that he can't tell I really want to be left alone at that moment. Sometimes being on the right page means knowing that that is the last thing someone wants - and that is truly love and being in tune. And (just to confuse the eg) I just love it when my husband knows me even better than I know myself and gives me a big hug and won't let go, so I am forced to drop through my anger and dissolve into those tears I didn't want to cry.

There is no right or wrong answer - it is only ever what you sense is appropriate in the moment. Get out of your head and trust your heart.

Women are cyclical in nature - they ebb and flow more than men. Just tune into them - but don't lose yourself in the process. Her happiness is only 50% your happiness, the other 50% is your sense of self. Otherwise you make women feel responsible for your happiness - and that will send us running a mile.

Abandoned

Thanks for your input zenism, I appreciate it. I hope I find someone but if I don't it's not the end of the world. I'm enjoying myself. I've met so many cool people lately between here, 43things, writing.com, and myspace that I'm just having fun with the whole friendship thing. I didn't understand how to be a friend in the borg.

I'll think about what you wrote though. It does make sense.

Mr Facts

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What do women REALLY want?

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